You know you’ve been ridin’ too much when:

1. As you drive home you find yourself pulling on the steering wheel over potholes and lumps

2. You rate ladies as groupsets, e.g. she's got an XTR arse, with an LX face.

3. The entire airing cupboard is full of drying riding kit.

4. You take the racing line in supermarkets with the trolley.

5. You throw tantrums when its " shopping day" and its sunny outside.

6. You take racing lines around the corner in the roads

7. You want to fit shifters to the steering wheel of your car

8. When you can't find your trainers because all you've worn for the last week is spud shoes.

9. When you get withdrawal symptoms after 1 day off the bike.

10. When having your bike nicked is like a bereavement

11. When you spend more time riding than sleeping.

12. When you empty your nose of snot forgetting you are in the car

13. Every meal is assessed in terms of how much energy there is in it.

14. A pretty girl rides past on a bike and all you see is the bike.

15. When walking you hold imaginary handlebars and lean into the corners.

16. Every location is rated in how good it would be to ride there

17. You've eaten nothing but powerbars, energy gels and jaffa cakes for over 60 hours.

18. Your friends are talking about football or telly or the news and you have no idea what they are talking about

19. When you hang your missus on the line next to your camelbak and hose her down.

20. When you wear your full face and leg pads in the supermarket crush

2. You rate ladies as groupsets, e.g. she's got an XTR arse, with an LX face.

Never done this before but as of now i can see myself doing it regularly. Cheers.

riding becomes serious when it starts paying cheques otherwise it's a only a hobby no matter how much time/money is spent.

When the toothbrush your cleaning your bike with is in better condition than the one in the bathroom.

When you miss a wedding reception because , well, just because.

When the back bedroom is actually the bike room.

Love this thread. Classic.

grumm, they must be some nice forks… unless you drive complete bangers?

Drive complete bangers. 🙂

You own more riding shoes than normal shoes.

You plan your weekends around riding rather than drinking.

You think a short ride is less than 20 miles.

When it becomes you main non-work activity. It's hardly serious though

When you frequently nearly crash the car trying to read the names on down tubes on bikes on top of cars going in the other direction.

When you have to be forcibly seperated from your credit card whenever you go near the shiny cabinet in the LBS.

When you have so many different sub genres of bike, not even your male non-biking friends can differentiate them in any way other than by colour.

When your garage contains enough spare parts to build up a whole 'nother bike, but you don't bother because you don't have a niche that's not already filled.

When you have different tyres for different conditions.

When you can tell what tyre is on a bike just by it's tread print.

When you know what the "Shimano death rattle" and "car park naked" are, without it having to be explained.

When you try and explain the tactics, competition structure, and politics of the peloton to non-biking friends when the tour is on.

When you come back from the pub pissed with mates and make them watch freeride DVDs rather than porn.

And following on – when you find yourself watching freeride videos not porn when you want to have a w*nk!

My mate doesn't own a fridge because that is valuable bike space.

I pulled into another friend's drive a few weeks back (to pick up a wheel) and asked my wife if it was the right house – "Judging by the line of suspension forks leaning against the front window, I'd say it is" was the reply. The friend is a family man in his 60s.

When you have conversations in work along the lines of:
"What are you ordering there?"
"Oh a set of lights for the bike"
"How much are bike lights then?"
"Well these are £250" Minutes of justification then follow regarding discounted net prices, 24 hour races, lightweight, charge times, etc.
"Jesus Christ," as he shakes head and wanders off.

IdleJon – Yes, when you spend more on a set of lights than most people consider reasonable for a whole bike.

When you try to see if you can run through the whole of one of your favourite trails in your head in the time it takes to have a sh*t at work.

When people at the gym discretely hand you domestic violence leaflets after seeing your cuts and bruises every week.

When you can order parts from their catalogue numbers from memory.

When you can have a thirty minute conversation about the merits of different shifting cables.

When your opening gambit whenever a friend suggests a day out is some mountain biking.

When you have to buy a new wheelset, because the hope hubs that you already own don't match the colourscheme.

When you leave a minty scent behind you whenever you go to the toilet.

When you go on holiday and there's 3 of you in the hortel room: you, the Mr/Mrs, and your bike.

When you ride more miles than most people drive. 180 in the past five days 😀

When you don't actually buy bikes anymore, just bike parts.

When your kid's bikes are worth more than anything else they own.

When you know exactly what your cadence is without having to count anymore, or start plotting graphs in excel of your average speed increases.

Incidentally, i find that when i'm ill/injured/unmotivated i spend a fortune on bike parts i don't need. When i'm fit and riding most days i lose the upgrade-itis and just get on with it.

jonb – Member

You own more riding shoes than normal shoes.

. . . and have more Camelbaks than handbags 😉

When you realise that while all your workmates and non-biking friends are getting fat and lardy and boring in their old age while you go out on a muddy night ride and act like a 14yr old whooping and hollering. Who feels best ?

when you get a name and login for an internet forum…and use it to answer questions, rather than ask them or give an opinion or comment!

when you're on holiday with the family and visit a bike shop in every town you stop at and buy stuff?

I mean what else would you buy as a souvenier from holland, belgium, france and south africa?

Lots of the above apply in this house!

Add,
when the LBS:

Ask you to fill in for staff shortages

Happily let you walk out with a new wheel set without paying and you end up harrassing them to pay!

Have the pick of the demo bikes just cause you wanna go at something different

can help yourself to the Ezi Up/demo lights

and you find yourself out training with the shop race team and enjoying the pain.

When you have a mid-life crisis and do SITS solo on your birthday 😉

I'm for the comment above about bike being worth more than car.

Alternatively, when you drop a twelve year career and accept a £6K pay cut to take a job in the bike industry… 😀

When your best shoes are made by Sidi.

Your best rucksack is a camelbak.

When you know your local trails but not the road names in your town.

When you wander into your LBS to abuse, swearing, told to make the tea and check out these shiny bits whilst you use the tools and workshop for free.

Noticing bikes on cars, but not the cars.

You begrudge buying new jeans after 4 years but Sugoi shorts are on offer.

You work out that you have technically paid for the car/s of the owner of your LBS over the past 20 years.

When you downplay the cost of your bike to riding buddies.

Accepting people will use words like steed and rig 😕

when all of your holidays involve a bike

if you do go on a "mixed purpose" holiday you can only sit still for one day and that day may involve fixing your bike for the next day

when your other half demands you go out on a ride before they will talk to you because you arent making sense / being rational

when you resent anything that gets in the way of going for a ride

when you will take a sick day because you might be coming down with something and you couldnt bear to miss that weekend's ride if you did

Love this.
i have yet to tell my father in law the cost of my bike as i belive he would think id lost my mind ( and its entry level)

you tell work mates the cost of your bike and say " well its only a such and such and only cost xxx as im just starting out. then they walk off with that look of "hes getting paid to much"

"As you drive home you find yourself pulling on the steering wheel over potholes and lumps"

and

"when you will take a sick day because you might be coming down with something and you couldnt bear to miss that weekend's ride if you did"

Are the ones that particularly hit home with me. I also pump compressions in the car and I try and improve on my cornering on the bike by practising letting off the car brake where I think I should if I was on the bike.

Can i just add the one that happened to me last night.

When not being allowed to take your bike on holiday to the in-laws, who live 30mins from a trail centre, causes you to not speak to the other half for over 12 hours (so far). All the time she thinks you are sulking but in your mind you are trying to work out how you can smuggle the bike into the car in bits without her noticing.

Anyone got a good disguise for a 21" frame 😕

Zulu-Eleven – Member

Alternatively, when you drop a twelve year career and accept a £6K pay cut to take a job in the bike industry…

Been there, worst mistake I ever made in terms of career. Still have nightmares about that company. (I'm absolutely serious!)

However, I met lots of good friends, and my wife! 😀

Am guilty of a lot of the above particularly when a non-biking friend asks what bike to get and not only do they get the 40 min (very on sided) talk but you then waste half a day online trying to find them the best deal, even though they've not asked you to… have you noticed the looks you get when you <very excitedly> present them with the bike you have just "built", weights, specs, prices future upgrades etc!

add; your missus knows before you do when you NEEED to go out for a ride before you implode.

bigsi, great comment having just spent a week at the mother-in-laws.

When the girlfriend threatens to leave you if you buy a third bike; but you're still contemplating buying it.

Every time you drive your car you find yourself trying to clip into/out of the gas and clutch pedals.
You have your own coffee mug at the LBS.
You spend more time in the LBS than the Saturday boy.
A motorist asks you directions and you automatically give him the route that involves all the back roads, cycle lanes and cut-throughs.
A friend tells you about their holiday and your reply is "yeah, there's some good riding out there".
You go out for a walk/drive and automatically start looking for trails.
You go to the cinema with your biking mates to see an amazing film but at the end all you can talk about is bikes.
A really fit [insert your preferred gender] rides past you. Afterwards you can name the bike and groupset but not remember anything about the person riding it.

A really fit [insert your preferred gender] rides past you. Afterwards you can name the bike and groupset but not remember anything about the person riding it.

Yeah, know this one.

And you identify people by the bikes they ride, not by what they look like. Bumping into riding partners in the supermarket is a nightmare as you don't recognise them without their helmet on.