I’m not looking for any sympathy here. Just interested in hearing what changed your lives and how you dealt with it.

My last relationship ended after 10.5 years a year and a half ago. It was out of the blue and never really found out why. I lost a lot of friends shortly after too (they were her friends first). I never really got over iteven though I’m in a new relationship now. It changed the way I see things quite a bit and I ride more than I ever use to.

So. What have you gone through?

Met a Swiss girl, gave up a reasonably ‘safe and secure’ job in the UK and moved to Switzerland at the start of the year.

My life is totally changed….. for the better!

I never regretted leaving the UK for a second (especially when the Alps are less then a 30 minute ride away!)

got married, got divorced

Various deaths, not the least of which was my dad’s two years ago. The roller coaster of a year as he moved toward the end of his life was agonising. It hit hard enough that I became quite depressed.

I love him and miss him profoundly.

Mrs_D got cancer. She’s survived it so far (3 years in August) but it certainly changed both our views on life.
My redundancy announced two days after she finished her treatment didn’t exactly help either – although it’s worked out ok since. Contracting now rather than permie

Parent died. University. Married and raised two kids. Sister died. Parent died. Rode a bike a lot.

Going back to Uni, which has now pretty much taken over.

open heart surgery.
prior to it, i thought i was a big tough bloke. turns out i am a big soft shyte now.

Nothing yet, but the breakdown of my relationship with my mum – on our wedding day – was pretty shit.

I had a bad do on a pill aged 20. I thought the whole club were conspiring to mock me and my dancing, very odd.

Giving blood, then donating platelets. Wish I could do it more.

wallop – Member
Nothing yet, but the breakdown of my relationship with my mum – on our wedding day – was pretty shit.

you married your mum? 😉

Growing up basically.

Being grateful for things and just living a simple life.

Few things made me realise. Losing my Nan and being completely on my own at the Hospltal when she died made me realise I’ve have to look after myself. No one will always look after you.

Sounds arrogant, but love yourself. Not in a looking at myself in the mirror all the time way but realise what you are good at and what your faults are.

Realising that the world has idiots in it and I will never change then so just ignore them.

In the last 6 months.

My mum past away due to pancreatic cancer.
I left a 100k a year contract – super stressful in itself as I knew it would set me up for my future.
I moved from the uk to Geneva last week.

Three of the most stressful things you can do.

I just keep riding my bike, enjoying the simple things and having a laugh with my wife.
Tomorrow riding the Jura mountains with my wife so always a plus to whatever you do.

Lost the use of my right hand aged 29, lost my job as I couldn’t drive, spent a year recovering, went to uni, finally got a degree, set up a business, still doing it. Nothing compared to some of these tales!

The usual car accident at a young age (19) but not my fault. I swerved to avoid a speeding oncoming car driven with no lights at night on a single track road as the driver was showing off to his cousins in the car, unfortunately i swerved down a bank, through a dyke and hit the biggest tree for miles around and lay there till the postman found me 8 hours later. Shattered T6 & T9 vertebrae , multiple fractures in practically all ribs, both lungs punctured, collarbones, facial lacerations from windscreen and a few other issues.

8 months in hospital, Kept in an induced coma for a week till i was stabilised but was paralysed from upper chest down as they couldn’t do anything due to two completely shattered vertebrae into my cord, one neuro surgeon (Tom Russell – you are a god!) was willing to try a procedure with the aid of top neuro surgeons who happened to be over from the states for a teaching conference but i was told it was very risky as they had to open me up from the rear and front and move internal organs etc, i agreed straight off as i was **** anyway and was not going to live in a wheelchair so i was prepped for a 13hr operation and it went quite well, they removed what was left of the vertebrae and fused most of the rest and removed bone slivers from my cord as best they could. Fitted a titanium cage around my spine for extra support and stapled me back up – Movement and feeling started to come back into my big toe two weeks later and gradually spread up my legs over the next few months till i managed to walk out unaided 6 months later after spending hours each day/every day in the gym and physio….brilliant!

1 year later i broke my back again and ripped the titanium cage out of my spine whilst competing in a downhill mtb race – I hit a tree 😥 , back into hospital and opened up again to remove the cage and patch up the damage but thankfully my fused spine saved any further damage to my cord so i was back on the bike within a few weeks.

Only now 25 years later am i suffering from the damage as it catches up with me, can’t really stand up/walk but i can still ride my ebike 😀

Prob one of the best yet worst things that could have ever happened to me as throughout my 20’s and early 30’s i did every **** thing possible that i wanted to over three continents, there’s no tomorrow – get off your arse and do it now was my mantra to myself.

Don’t give a shit about money, don’t give a shit about possessions, don’t give a shit about social standing, don’t give a shit what others think of me. As long as i can wiggle my toes and still manage to wipe my arse when i wake up in the morning then it’s going to be a good day and there’s only one rule to hold yourself to in life.

#1 : Don’t be a dick

My younger brother died from Bowel cancer in 2013, that was pretty shit (and still is) he was 36.
20-Oct-13 was my ‘sliding doors’ day. I walked out of the hospital, down to the tube station and got on a train to someone else’s life.

He left a little bucket list of things he hoped people might do after he’d gone.
The last one I have left to do is a re-run of his cycle ride from London to Paris, which he did between Chemo courses in 2012.

I’m leaving on Tuesday.
He would have been 40 in a few days time, feels like a good moment to do it.

Not much, I guess 😉

Rachel

Kuco 😆

I didn’t want to call it ‘my wedding day’ cos that makes me sound like a dick 😆

Good luck freeagent, take pleasure in the memories you will experience as you will carry them with you for the rest of your life, even painful memories serve a purpose.

Thank you Somafunk. I’m just glad he didn’t have RAAM or a double Ironman on his legacy list!

I’m so, so tired of watching those I love die.
Weary to my bones with it.

Some really tough stories there, much respect to Somafunk.

Hit by a motorbike, put in a coma, serious head injury. Went back to work six months later on limited hours, found I couldn’t do it anymore. Had a complete career change, but can still only manage two days work a week though. Got bugger all income, but happy to be alive and able to ride a bike. Jenn inspired me and last year I had a crack at the divide with my son, made it to Butte and it was the best trip ever! Only trouble is I’ve got to go back and finish it off now 😉

Some really inspiring stories here. Thanks for sharing them!

When I was 4 I fell through a grannary floor of about 20′ fractuing my school putting me in hospital for weeks. At 18. I was diagnosed with a bone tumour to the top of my leg told it would be cancerous given my age and location that I may lose my leg, it was a very rare condtion. I was opeartated on by a fantastic surgeon who said there would be no need to lose my leg. Been told many times since I was lucky it was him I got as at the time he was one of a very few who would have done what he did. I was also fortunarte that it was no cancerous. I’ve met 2 people around the same age of me since who had the Op, one had no femur they reomoved it completley but life a rod to stablilise the leg but not enough to walk on it normally. He had secondarie through out his life and were cancerous he was on palative care. The second they removed his leg his had also been cancerous but having removed his leg it had stopped any secondaries.

Been others too but it’s just life really I know others who have had far tougher.

Oh and I very nearly read one page on the EU thread but luckily stopped in time but I still neeeded conselling for a few weeks.

In chronological order…
Diagnosed with SAD
Messed up uni
General depression
Deemed unfit to work for several years
Employed by the charity that I volunteered for
Charity project went financially independent, but went into liquidation
~5 months trying to find another job I could do
Head butted the rear of a dustbin lorry at ~20mph with my jaw while cycling to work, 4 days after turning 40

Life doesn’t always turn out as you expect, but the important thing is not to give up hope, even on the hardest days (which isn’t easy).

5 years ago tomorrow my mum called early in the morning blurted out “he’s dead” and burst into tears. I new she meant my brother, to my shame I hoped she meant my step dad.

10 days ago a young man died in Sweden, Seb had been fighting leukaemia for 3 years, with bravery and dignity. Heartbreaking that I can’t laugh with him about Zlatan and will never see what he would of achieved.

It has really knocked me for six

had just dreamily plodded through life going through the usual teenage/twenties/thirties stuff, all pretty unremarkable. married, divorced, no real heartache to it, married again…..
twas only when both my lads got into drugs that my life changed. legal highs. was heartbreaking watching it, dealing with it, social workers and police round every day, spending days searching for them and finding them asleep outside shops in the middle of the day in front of the public. the sort of teenagers id despise and call them druggy scum if i didnt know them, but they were my lads.
eldest one f*cked his head up and was in and out of mental health places for a couple of years, again heartbreaking to watch and visit, in with all the dribbling shouty people who i also felt sorry for, its no life.
had to move home because of it, my wife wasnt dealing with it well on her own while i was working away. didnt settle there as its a sh1t place to live.
the heartbreak of realising theres no future for your lad, this is it, best he can hope for.

then….he turned it round. no idea how but quit, but they both asked to come back home. was scared to do this as we’d been through so much and had to look after ourselves first, but id never have forgiven ourselves if we’d turned our back on them. gave them a loving home again and theyve both turned it round and are working and living normal lives. in fact theyve both turned out into good kids with good mates. eldest one loses his rag a bit too quick for my liking but when i look at the big picture id have taken that a year or so ago.

you just never know whats round the corner do you.

Suffered with serious depression on and off since my teenage years. This has affected some things in my life due to low self esteem playing a big part of it. The night that my wife (then girlfriend) and I moved in to our first house my elder brother lost his life. He was 34 at the time and was celebrating the fact he’d turned his life around and just passed an exam. He was killed crossing the road.

The birth of my son and the fact that we almost lost him twice in the first fortnight. Even when he’s pushing my buttons and throwing big tantrums I’m just grateful he’s happy and healthy. As per my thread from a few weeks ago, the totally unexpected second pregnancy. Looking forward to Funkmaster Mk3 arriving in November.

It’s weird what life can throw at you and as my old eccentric neighbour used to say ‘it’s all part of growing up kid’

I don’t worry about things any more, mainly because of this lot:
Daughter born with cerebral palsy, cant walk or use the right hand.
Son died at 18 weeks.
2nd Daughter still born.
Wife turned to alcohol and eventually died.
However, things have been pretty decent for the last 8 years.

I came on here, looked around, found I’m one of very few, post infrequently now.

That’s changed my life, for the better.

Massive intravenous drug addiction in my teens.
3 years of psychosis followed, causing me to throw myself from a very high cliff. I miraculously survived (with life changing injuries) but was then plagued with many more years of crippling anxiety and paranoid delusions.
A few years later I fell in love with a childhood sweetheart.. One year she travelled to Greece to work for the summer and I took the opportunity to go feral, camping and fishing my way around Devon. Received a drunken and distraught call from Greece begging for my assistance so I dropped everything and found my way out to the remote island. Only to be met with a very cold welcome.. She had no recollection of the drunken call and was indignant that I had interrupted her three month shagathon! 🙂
So I travelled alone around the Greek islands for a few months in a mess.
Back in the UK I rekindled my teen habits, developed a drink problem to boot and passed a decade or so on a hazy hilarious rollercoaster ride.
Got bored, got clean and sober and settled down with a nice girl, had kids, rode my bike lots..
My partner became a career obsessed workaholic who despaired at my stubborn lack of ambition, so we separated and I took half custody of the children, rode my bike lots.
I am now with a beautiful, kind and compassionate woman, herself a relentlessly impush and cheerful survivor of much change and terrifying adversity..

Lately I have embarked on a completely new career path and discovered hidden talents, enjoying a simple life which we liberally pepper with fun and frolics at every opportunity.

The only constant in life is change, and if you accept this fact and adapt with good grace, good humour and childlike curiosity and optimism then the world becomes a playground.

Humility is the ability to give up your pride and still retain your dignity

Made it to retirement! No money, but I don’t have to be at the beck and call of a*se licking idiots climbing the greasy pole of their career via the efforts of others.

Lost my dad early, my kid sister, my mum, my stepdad. Last year Rachel died and that was it for me. When Scraps my 18yr old JR goes I really have no reason to care about anything.
At one level it is a very liberating feeling.

I really have no reason to care about anything.
At one level it is a very liberating feeling.

I can relate to that, various deaths in the family, it’s just me my dad and my nan (mums side) left.
Almost lost my dad last month as he was drinking himself to death after the death of my brother, inflamed pancreas.. But he seems to have turned a corner.

Although I am still a considerate caring person, I have zero tolerance or thought for those who are not, or who can’t see things from others perspectives.

Fighting legal highs addiction over the last 8 years.

Hit rock bottom a year ago when I took loads of the stuff and tried to jump out through our bedroom window and then took a razor blade to my neck.

Thankfully my wife was around and phoned for an ambulance. I lost 4 units of blood and I would be dead if I had been living on my own.

I have been working very hard on my recovery over the last year. Things are getting much better now.

From 26 to 29er

I had a nervous breakdown 7 years ago.

Initially caused by me putting too much work pressure on myself. Setting standards, worrying, people pleasing.

Then got stuck in an anxiety disorder. Basically scared of how i was feeling and fought it for a long time. Unknown to me this maintained the anxiety.

Lesson learned: I now do not get involved in worrying about trivial things and trying to please people.