The latest one here was telling them that if they ate the green leafy stuff (rocket) on their plate they would turn into a rocket. Never seen them eat anything so fast.

Father Christmas
Tooth Fairy

Being a rocket would not be good. Blasted into space to have yourself jettisoned in sections to burn up in the atmosphere..

We lie to our kid all the time:

“The crisps are all gone. All gone”

the juicy pink stuff in the middle of a pork chop is poison, the fatty stuff round the outside – thats the bit to eat

ooh ooh can I do the one about the ice cream van?

Is that the one about the guy who drives it being a paedo?

When I was a kid the old guy next door (everyone was old to a 5yr old) always used to tell me he was going to bible classes every sunday morning about 11.30 when I was out playing, never doubted him for a second. Until I was 16 and got a pt job collecting glasses in the local Working Mens Club and there he was the fly bugger sitting in the bar and his bible had a handle on it and was full of beer.

Your mother and I are going for a siesta, we’re very tired. Please do not disturb 😈

Mummy was just a bit cold.

Icecream van?

When the van plays music it means it’s run out of icecream. 8)

Years ago I told my kids I was the Stig.

Them, and all their friends belive until this day.

“where’s yer da?”

“oh! he’s teh Stig – driving stuff I guess”

I’m working in India.

lol

Go for it, speed is your friend and if you fall off it won’t hurt.

The world was created by god in seven days? That’s a fairly common one I hear.

As with FoxyChick santa claus we haven’t got as far as the tooth fairy yet as he hasn’t lost any teeth.

All pubs contain large electro-magnets that draw daddies towards them by the fillings in their teeth 🙂

Lies to tell your mates kids is where its at though. Eg:

If you put a cheese single into a DVD player it will play a short documentary about cows

I remember telling my daughter that if she works hard at school, goes to Universty and puts all her energy into education she’ll have a really good job at the end of it 🙄

FoxyChick – Member
Icecream van?
When the van plays music it means it’s run out of icecream.
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My mum said it was when they were collecting for charity.

“The flashing lights on those 50p a go rides you get at supermarkets etc…they mean its broken.”
“Rag & bone men will also take children away if asked.”
“The bedroom door is blocked because we’re moving furniture.”

And ours are only 3 & 5.!!!

The Future’s Bright: The Future’s Orange™.

that`s cruel chunky 😀

“If you don’t do as you’re told, Thatcher will get you”

To be fair, they’re nearly thirteen.

religion?

The world was created by god in seven days? That’s a fairly common one I hear.

Indeed, it only took Him 6! He rested on the 7th – or went for a ride! 😀

“If you don’t do as you’re told, Thatcher will get you”

**** me, that’s a bit much, innit? 😯

…. that you’re their father.