I drowned a hedgehog once just to see how long it would take
I'll see your drowned hedgehog and raise you a microwaved mouse 
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what is the worst thing you've ever done?
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Posted 2 years ago #
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I'll see your drowned hedgehog and raise you a microwaved mouse
OK, so we used to fish in a canal near a railway line. Anything small got put on the rails for the next train.
Eels go great.....
Posted 2 years ago # -
Crikey, and I used to think that taking pot shots at the birds on my mum's bird table with an air rifle was low...
Posted 2 years ago # -
pomona - Member
The ex-mother-in-law
Did you kill her or shag her? I'm not actually sure which is worse...
Posted 2 years ago # -
marrying wife No. 1 was probably one of the worse things I've done - not big or clever (that's me btw not wife No.1)
Posted 2 years ago # -
I wanted terrapins, my mum said i could only have them when the fish died. low and behold the next day the fish were dead, and the tank smelt of bleach.
Cheated on an ex (when I was 16) when she was in hospital with appendicitis.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Gave my mate's cat LSD
Posted 2 years ago # -
Gave my mate's cat LSD
Oh dear
Posted 2 years ago # -
Gave my mate's cat LSD
this is about the worst things you've ever done, not the best.
Posted 2 years ago # -
this thread is coming along nicely
Posted 2 years ago # -
Fell in Love with the wrong woman.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Fell in Love with the wrong woman.
only once ?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Following that whole monkey shooting business a few months ago....
... I was the assistant manager on a Zimbabwean farm (I was born there, innit!)- my opposite number from the neighbouring farm and I would sometimes go up into the rocks and snipe monkeys from miles away with a 303 or a 762.
The excuse was that they used to raid our Maize, so we'd make an imaginary line and snipe them when they crossed. They soon learnt. The labourers liked eating them.Another method.
Obtain a thin necked Vase; fill with salt.
Tie to tree-trunk within range of monkeys.
Scout monkeys find salt.
Alpha male chases scouts and keeps salt to himself.
Approach Alpha with can of silver paint. (at which point alpha male won't be able to get his hand out of the vase and the others scarper; stupid animals)
Paint Alpha male silver and cut loose.
Alpha male will run toward pack, who will shout that a silver monster is chasing them, which will make him run and so-on.Effective monkey dispersal techniques.
Posted 2 years ago # -
who will shout that a silver monster is chasing them
Awesome
Posted 2 years ago # -
Adultery...
Just say no, kids.
There's a word for that and it AINT adultery..
Posted 2 years ago # -
I told my eleven year old mate in one sentence that there was no Santa, no tooth fairy, and his teddys definitely did not come alive at night
I still remeber the sound of his heart breaking!
In my defence he should have known by age 11 ffs
Not the worst thing though, as that would turn into a written confession...
Posted 2 years ago # -
enfht - Member
Adultery...
Just say no, kids.
There's a word for that and it AINT adultery..
Just say "No kids"
Posted 2 years ago # -
Posted 2 years ago #
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I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Told a small child the ice cream man only rings his bell when he is out of ice cream.
Posted 2 years ago # -
we've a housemate from hell. he would never buy toothpatse and always use other people's. i filled an old tube with mustard once. that was funny.
tying my mates shoe laces to a chair whilst he was passed out stoned. he woke up in the dark, stumbled and knocked his front teeth out.
mate and i found a dead fox one evening and thought it'd be funny to shove a pole up its arse and stand the pole outside another 'friend's' house. we were about 14 at the time. very funny though.
on a heavier note:
never thanked or paid back various people i've met over the years - mostly whilst travelling.Posted 2 years ago # -
promising my Granddad I'd do something for him then never doing it before he passed away.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Smacked someone in the face with an oak table leg!!! Knocked him out and gave him 4 stiches!! Still feel really guilty about it today!
Posted 2 years ago # -
as a 13 year old, i did not want to go in to school for a test i was going to fail, so slammed front door crept upstairs and lay on bed waiting for my mum to go to work, but this day she brought the clean clothes upstairs before going to work, i could hear her coming along the landing and new i was in trouble, just as she entered my room i lay on the floor she let out a almighty scream, and i said i had fallen over and hit my head, but no bruse and no cuts and mark to my head made her think i had fainted,
she called my dad home from work and i was taken to hospital for a full brain scan,a rectal exam, blood works the whole nine yards, even got kept in for the night for observations as my aunt was a sister in the hospital and my mother was panicking
did not dare tell them i was just bunking off!!Posted 2 years ago # -
Knocked down the door and threaten the guy to leave my girlfriend (guy was trying to feel her up at work) alone-he wimpered please don't hurt me and cried like a baby as I threatened to kill him. I left him and drove home...
Thing is, I went to the wrong house/street. Slaps own face...
Posted 2 years ago # -
i was taken to hospital for a.......... rectal exam
Is that standard procedure when you pass out then ?
Well that might help to explain why after passing out at that party, I came round to find my underpants on back to front, and a rather sore ar5e.
Always did wonder .........
Posted 2 years ago # -
I once nicked a lads sandwiches while he was having an epileptic fit.
To be fair, he wasnt eating them.Posted 2 years ago # -
that wasn't the same epileptic lad that came to the swimming pool I was working at, and when he started fitting I threw in my washing was it?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Me + Ex Bosses Wife = Divorce.
Not my proudest moment.Posted 2 years ago # -
Fired a rather large firework at a house .
Went in through the bathroom window , someone was in it. Trumpton , Po Po etc. Made the papers , Im not proud.Posted 2 years ago # -
Gave my mate's cat LSD
good work. Poured an entire bottle of gin into my housemate's fishtank at uni. The fishes behaviour was quite funny until they all died.Posted 2 years ago # -
Stole a JCB
Best not ellaborate
Posted 2 years ago # -
Arrested for B and E .
Dad waiting in the Police station for Duty Solicitor, all had words whilst I was in the cells .
Turned out OK in the end , we went to the pub to celebrate.Posted 2 years ago # -
believe what a man tells me!
Posted 2 years ago # -
In my Green days....GPMG + Sheep + no way to be identified.........not my proudest moment. although from what we pieced together, it was quick as it gets.
recently, got stiffed by a builder who took 10K of kit for his own new build house. refused to pay for the kit claiming a 5yr old disputed invoice as a reason not to pay for an air source heat pump + sundries. went round, no one moved in to the new house yet, squirted a whole 'jumbo' can of expanding foam into the working parts of the ASHP. actually quite proud of that one
Posted 2 years ago #
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