cats make me happy. i don’t have any of my own right now. my life is shit.

When one of my daughters gives me a hug and says ‘I love you daddy’.

You can take the rest.

I used to strive to be exceptional at my job. Worked long hours, put lots of effort in, took on lots of extra duties without being asked…

Then I realised that despite my hard work, your boss just sees you as another worker, and when it comes time for a company to do you a favour, instead of you always doing it a favour (working extra hours etc…) you get the same treatment as the guy who tosses it off all day and doesn’t seem to take work terribly seriously.

So work is work now, I do what I’m contracted to do and nothing more. I’m less stressed and happier and look forward to home time each day.

There’s more important things than work…

Money makes me happy. Why?….well its because if I have enough money, to pay my bills, pay for a few hols for me and my family and live a half decent life, then I am content.

If I don’t have any money, then I worry and if I worry, I am not happy. I don’t crave anything more than what I have, but money keeps everything moving along nicely.

Millions of ££££££££ would make me happy!

I’m not happy as I have -£100000000

I’m not sure this is indicative of my opinion, but I find it quite bizarre how so many have been able to quickly state ” this, this and this” makes me happy/successful.

I can’t think what would make me unequivocally happy or successful. Thing make me happy from time to time – for example my kids, successes in my sport/hobby, success in work. But, those things also make me sad / a failure from time to time – for example upset or injured kids, not succeeding my sport/hobby and being bored at work.

I’ve been playing with mindfulness (I have lapsed a bit recently) and can agree with some of the above, that living in the moment, not being sucked into others anger or dispair, not living the world of the “two arrows” does lift my moood/remove some stress and anxiety.

My situations are lined with a mixture of both. For example, we have half the money to create the Kitchen we want. But in total it seems like too much money to throw into a kitchen, yet we don’t want to accept less – vis a vis no progress, neither happy or unhappy just frustrated. We are been treated to a stunning luxury holiday in August by the in laws – I should be really happy, but its an 8 hour flight, and I’m scared of flying, 16 hours in total of terror bookending it. I have a good well paid job, but its become mundane.

I can’t help thinking that my definition of success and happiness would come down to living in some kind of bubble by myself whereby I could do all the things I want to, but stop at the point of any attritional outcomes they cause – which feels lonley and quite sad at the same time. So actually that doesnt work either.

I don’t know maybe I need to see a psych, everyday is an up or down for me. 😐

I think a truly successful person is someone who desires the welfare of other people, especially people who they have no family or kinship ties to. So people practicing service of some kind or other.
I’ve known plenty of “successful” people in today’s terms – rich, powerful, intelligent – but I think we use such achievements to try and fill a void inside of us which can only truly be filled through acts of empathy and to a certain extent self-sacrifice.
I should point out that in these terms, I am not a successful person, but I have a better idea of where I should be going in the future.

When all the boys sleep in till 7am, it’s the little things.

Ask me again in 10 days when this term is over, and I have managed to hold onto my sanity.

Hmm, success is meaningless in and of itself because it requires external benchmarks. This means it is relative to those on the planet now, those who have gone and those who will come. Happiness on the other hand has correlate goings-on in the brain that can be verified against self-reporting (i.e. “do you feel happy”). Personally, for me, it has to do with movement and being in the mix (some might say “flow”). Often this has to do with speed and immersion (that comes with amazing singletrack and jumps), roadying (repetition of motion, breathing and absence of thought), but also my job (which as an academic involves joining up dots and seeing things differently), and home life where I am grounded with my partner and have a great place to live. 🙂

I like that saxabar.

So in reality what you are saying is that its a state of mind, permeated by s series of outside events which are in fact, either ever changing but often come together to form the feeling on “happiness” or “success” rather than one long continuous concept?

In mindfulness, happiness is described as not being “unhappy”. Therefore by definition the removal of all things that obstruct the state of mind to which you refer, leaving only happiness. The object of mindfulness is not to be happy, but to not be unhappy, which is a difference in concept.

Its reminded me of one of the key values which I’d not only forgotton, but have actually ignored in my previous post earlier; that in that post you can actually see that I’m finding and focusing on reasons to be unhappy. Damn!

I agree with Twinw4ll, if you are happy, then you are sucessful.

The Americans have it as an inalienable right: Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

As long as you don’t get your kicks from kicking puppies, have at it.

Benz, unfortunately for you Aberdeen is a soul sucking horror show. I get out of there as fast as humanly possible when i land.

I have a very good mate who is a drilling engineer for a very large firm (no names 🙂 ) and currently he is the most miserable person i have ever met. He chased this job and career but it was not solely financial driven. He loves his job and all the challenges that come with it. What is slowly killing him is having to deal daily with the poison of the companies management. Everyone is out for number 1, chasing that final salary position before they retire and back stabbing at every turn. How a company operates like that is beyond me.

He is getting out. I cant say much on here but his plans have him leaving that all behind . I dont think his health would last much longer either.

So in reality what you are saying is that its a state of mind

I guess, but I’d add that it’s a state of the brain too as mind is inextricably connected with brain/body.

[…] events which … come together to form the feeling on “happiness” or “success” rather than one long continuous concept?

A tentative yes to this, as I don’t think happiness is a concept or a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Perhaps it is better thought of as an arrangement of parts of the self in relation to environment?

In mindfulness, happiness is described as not being “unhappy”. Therefore by definition the removal of all things that obstruct the state of mind to which you refer, leaving only happiness.

Maybe, but one person’s niggle or depressingly insurmountable challenge is the reason for others to get out of bed. I think this goes back to the point above arrangements of brain/mind and interactions with environment. Not sure about happy as not being unhappy. Word play?

A nice big poo, really!

After a year and a half of various meds that changed my normally functional bowels into an unpredictable, oversize hedgehog factory, this flippant remark is only half serious…

trustyrusty is the truth sayer

Agree with the posters above emphasising the equilibrium aspect to happiness.
Happiness as a static state of being doesn’t exist outside of infant school and mental institutions. It’s something that arises out of opposing feelings being in the right balance.

Equilibrium doesn’t mean 50:50, either – it can be way over to one side or the other.

I’m climbing Mount Mulcahen on next Tuesday week, I expect I’ll feel happy about that. For a short while…