Sadly one of my friends succumbed to cancer (f### cancer) aged just 40. I have been invited to the service and then celebration of his life but the invite says “strictly no black ties”. Does this mean i should still wear a suit but not black or something more casual than that? Although i wasnt in touch with him over the last few years we were all young at heart and i would imagine he would have hated everyone suited and booted, he was more a jeans and shirt man but not sure if that would be appropriate.

Condolences

IMHO a suit would be appropriate if no specific code has been specified (I’ve been to ‘wear purple’ and ‘football shirts / colours’ in the past, for example) but with an appropriate tie – doesn’t have to be sombre but equally I wouldn’t wear a Simpsons one personally.

But if not sure is there a relative you can ask.

Sorry.

My OH’s aunty Jean died recently and she had said ‘no flowers, no black and no formality’ at her funeral please. Try and ask a relative if you can but it’s still a rubbish occasion.

I was going to ask another friend who is going but he is as clueless as me. I have managed to get to 44 years old without ever having to go to a funeral which i guess is a good thing but now my inexperience is really showing.

Wear a suit and a ‘normal’ tie. If you get there and it’s more informal, just take the jacket and tie off.

It really doesn’t matter. Just go and remember your friend.

I don’t have a black suit, last couple of family funerals i’ve been to neither did most people – even amongst the octogenarians – trousers and a jacket seemed the concensus.

Once went to my great aunts ‘no black funeral.’ Me in chinos and a green tie, dad & brother in similar; mum in pink, gran in orange. They’d changed the no black and never informed us! Every other person was in full black. Stood out a bit! Too add fully brand this memory in the mind, it was the first time i’d been to a burial, the rain was biblical and the service was in hebrew.

condolences

personally I don’t think jeans and tee is appropriate, I’d go in a suit (no tie). It’s respectful to his family.

Suit it is then and jacket will be optional once i get there and see what everyone else is wearing, thanks everyone.

yeah i’m thinking suit no tie, (one handy though)

Plain but not black tie in pocket just in case?

Wear a suit and a ‘normal’ tie. If you get there and it’s more informal, just take the jacket and tie off.

This.

As someone who has spent a lot of time in funeral homes/crematorium chapels/churches for funerals, I must say that, even when the deceased was of a less formal nature, it has always seemed disrespectful when people have not at least put in more effort than their daily wear.

A non-black suit will allow you to present in a dignified, respectful way, but also to adjust by taking the tie off and removing the jacket if necessary.

May your friend rest in peace.

personally I don’t think jeans and tee is appropriate

For my funeral that’s as smart as you’ll be allowed to be! No ties, no suits, no black. Sod that. I never wear a suit and I won’t be expecting anyone else to. 🙂
Funerals are shit enough without having to worry about clothes.

I expect everyone to cycle to mine.

i would imagine he would have hated everyone suited and booted

Thats the answer for me.

I think the fact they are saying no black tie means they dont want the full on ‘funeral’ look.

My Mum’s last wish was no funeral & have a great time at whatever you decide to do & definitely “NO BLACK”

So this April we had a celebration of her life, it had been a very energetic 73 years 🙂
I wore a pair of Craghoppers walking trousers & a very bright checked shirt. She would have approved as she was a fanatic about long distance walking & bold colours.

Like some others have said – I’d suit up with a restrained tie and lose the tie if that’s what most of the other folks were doing.

Wouldn’t bother me if other folks were in jeans etc. but not convinced I’d feel comfortable paying my respects dressed that way.

my condolences.

our lovely neighbour passed, her wish was bright colours at the funeral, her final song was Bon Jovi. 87 years young, what a lady.

Suit and tie with a change in the car in case…its always better to be more fprmal than less imo.

unles syou have been told not to be formal

, it has always seemed disrespectful when people have not at least put in more effort than their daily wear.

THIS

make an effort to look smart but dont dress for a funeral [ sombre and black]is how i interpret it

personally I don’t think jeans and tee is appropriate, I’d go in a suit (no tie). It’s respectful to his family.

I can assure you that unless you turn up in a clown costume they won’t notice.

I buried my mum earlier in the year, I chose to wear a blue suit/ waistcoat and brown brogues. This black suit and tie thing was not what my mum was about and neither am I.