Have to confess, I just sort of mumble something unintelligible. This article champions a return to “how do you do?”, but I’m worried enough about turning into my dad, let alone my granddad. What’s the answer ??

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jun/03/how-do-you-do-english-standard-greeting

handshake, with a ‘how do’.

Hello. Have you heard the good news about Jesus?

ey up ducky

The problem is that the standard ‘Hello, how are you’ always appears very insincere and it’s seldom met with a truthful answer.

Hello, how are you?
I’m not that well, I’ve had a shit day, how are you?

Doesn’t generally happen. So on in general your first meeting with a stranger starts with a lie. Not a great basis of a relationship.

I always shake hands or- if I know them either or a hug. Man or woman.

I’m not into the Big Bang Theory/Sheldon- stand offish ‘err hi’ stuff. Call me over familiar but I prefer emotions to poker-fache 8)

I say “hello how are you” seems to stump a few people.

Hi, I’m [insert name of child you are accompanying to which ever kids birthday party it is this weekend]’s Dad. Previously known as Steve.

I would love “how do you do” to become our standard greeting.

Have to confess, I just sort of mumble something unintelligible

You’re a doctor,that’s all they will expect.

Depends on business or intro from friend.

I’d normally say, Hi…nice to meet you.

Hi, pleased to meet you.

(though I’m terrible for forgetting names and faces so often it’s some awkward bet-hedging option if I’m not sure if I should know the person.)

“ahoy hoy!”

so the guardian are advocating the terry thomas approach

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNz8iQN4xfk[/video]

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyw4b8LGe9I[/video]

or

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-418SbXncFA[/video]

Alreet,
Now then,
or owdo

The only time I wont say hi is when

‘now then I’m doing a KOM Strava attempt here in the Peaks’

**** off you ****.

Gotta love a bit of Terry Thomas! 🙂

“Hello there” or “all right?” or “Hola!”.

alright me old china

Someone I don’t know = “Hello, nice to meet you….”
Someone I know = “Hi, good to see you again”, “How are you doing?”
People I know better than I should = “Oh g*d not you again”

“‘ello Tweacle.”

I always shake hands or- if I know them either or a hug. Man or woman.

I’ll stop short at hugging, except with a very few close people*, but I do like a handshake. It sets a tone of commitment to the meeting, which I think we all value.

In the business context, a handshake and then just my name and company. If I already know them, then a handshake and something along the lines of “great to see you – how are you doing?”.

In the wider social context, then a handshake and a “great to meet you” or similar (depending on how great it is), or something more suited to the occasion (I wouldn’t say that to a bathroom salesman, for example).

I like “how do you do”, but don’t often deploy it these days. I think I’ll make an effort to try it out more often and see how it goes.

allreet
how do
aye up

all pronounced with a barnsley dialect to confuse people

S’up?

or

oi oi cockah

all depends on the occasion.

I say Salut, ça va if i know them.. I then get a real response normally..

or if we dont know each other, Bonjour, comment ça va? Real answers normally follow also..

these europeans dont normally mince their words with people so you do actually get proper conversations..

Sup’ famalam.
Or if I’m feeling nostalgic. Waaaasssssupppp

European lady came into the office yesterday, all European except for me. She kissed the 1st person 3 times, then a few more, then it was my turn. must have noticed my mild discomfort and shook my hand.

Shaking hands is good – unless you’re in Team Sky in which case you’ll be wary of catching germs.

At 43 I have been using ‘How do you do’ proudly as my standard greeting together with a firm handshake. I am relaxing into the idea that I may be turning into my Dad but then he’s not a bad bloke to know.
It does surprise me how many times people are taken aback or don’t quite know how to respond. Much in the same way that I react when greeted with ” ‘Sup Bro” complete with an offer of a fist bump. Too old for that nonsense now.

“Hi” followed by a snigger, and pointing out “pfft, 26″ wheels, how very last century”

😉

#moreendurothanyou

“Arite san”. To people I know.

You need to have an Edinburgh accent in your head.

“HELLO MY NAME IS CHRIS I LIKE SOFT COLOURS” To new people.

STWers talking to people in real life?

“Hello” or “Nice to meet you”. Usually with a handshake.

“Have you got any sponges? I’m not allowed sharp objects.”

Usually suffices. Otherwise “Hello!”

How do you do to a stranger

Nice to meet you fine when leaving but never as a greeting

Bout ye.

Wa gwan bredren?

Or

Handshake etc.

Depends on the context.

I find a quick grab of the balls if it’s a bloke negates all this “introduction” business, if it’s a womanz then it’s a flick of the nips..

Seems to work. 😉

This is how it’s done.

[video]http://youtu.be/SWleZY-8evw[/video]

Hoy da, Rutterkin.

“Who are you and how the hell did you get past security…. and get your hands off my balls!”