I tend to agree with a course to get the skill levels up a bit but isn’t most of it simply confidence and being in the right state of mind during the ride? If she’s not on it then the slightest sketchy moment can send her into this spiralling silent state of pent up frustration and sense of embarrassment that she shouldn’t be riding in such a way. Its something I’ve never experienced before and you are entirely helpless as anything u do or say will be taken the wrong way… She needs help and so do I!! Under the patio it is!

….when she insists on coming biking with you but then gets too nervous to ride yet too stubborn and proud to turn back!

Heh heh, sounds familiar! 😛 I started off on fireroads and bridleways then went onto Follow the Dog at Cannock Chase. I spent the first few weeks whimpers, stopping constantly, and having Mr Toast stand in the bowl berm on section 10 and rotate me around like a carousel.

Me: “I’M GOING TO FAALLLL!”

Mr Toast, sighing: “You’re not going to fall”

Still giggle about that four years on. After a couple of weeks of making sure I wasn’t going to die, we eventually started biking on our own – he’d normally catch up with me on section 14 whilst I was doing my first lap and he was on his second, and we’d do the last couple of sections together. This allowed me to go at my own pace.

Nowadays we sometimes ride together, we sometimes don’t. When we’re up in Scotland riding tougher stuff together I think it’s hard for him because he’s torn between encouraging me and worrying about pushing me beyond my limits… especially as I have a tendancy to panic brake at unfortunate moments. It still have fond memories of Benny Hilling down the side of Pennels Vennel at Glentress. You’ve never seen a man in SPD shoes run so fast! 😛

Thanks everyone – some really good advice here. Have discussed with the other half this morn and there is so much that relates and can draw inspiration from.

Herman – Bang on there. Challenge by choice – at mo she has no choice so need to change that.

Splat – She’s on my 100mm hardtail at mo. I think if she can get comfortable and skilled on that and gets into it then maybe the wallet will come out! Now looking for fellow girl riders in south wales area – if anyone is out there???

David – Based Swansea so at Afan a lot. Be great to know more about the non-waymarked bits?

Mrs Toast – Ha, I know all about the panic braking thing! She hasn’t Benny Hilled it yet though!

So gonna get her on a skills course, away to Glentress for a (romantic?) weekend and onto some more natural stuff where there is no pressure to perform. Will report back! 😀

benc, the Margam XC route is good and easy. Good to hone your skills and there’s a convenient cafe on hand too, the fire road goes over to Afan (Top of the old Penhydd 2nd climb, by the bench) if you fancy an extended outing but it’ll take a couple of hours.

go out for a bike ride – she’s too knackered to ride then and I can enjoy a peaceful ride

Head to Bristol. The new trails at Ashton Court and Leigh Woods should do the trick. Leigh Woods will be completed in November but Ashton Court has been going a while and its great for all comers. Not very hilly with a nice flow. There is an option of a red section if she fancies something a bit more challenging too but all very rideable.