dannyh – Member
…Time after time I think “ok, we’ll drive there, buy what we need, and go home”. I should know better…
Indeed. Unfortunately I did it first to my wife, in a spectacular fashion, before we were married, so for several decades I have been making up for it.
Late 60s, I needed a new part for my rigid Ariel motorbike. Part available 110 miles away in Aberdeen.
Say to girlfriend “Fancy a quick trip to Aberdeen?”
Turn up on the motorbike. GF was in mini dress, expecting a car. Came anyway, and sat on rear mudguard (no suspension) with only my folded up uni scarf under her. Two hours later got to the bike shop in Aberdeen, she was somewhat windblown (buttons at the back of her dress had popped off) and also possibly hypothermic (benefit of hindsight). Bought the part, and turned to go back.
“Aren’t we going to eat?” so I stopped at the edge of town and produced a bar of chocolate. (My budget didn’t run to eating out, it was all needed to feed the bike). Poor soul had thought that we would be hitting the shops in Aberdeen afterwards.
She was a bit grumpy by now, so I thought it best to press on.
Half way back to Inverness the bike died. I rang a mate to come with his bike and a tow rope. He turned up but without the towrope, so we nicked the top wire of the local police station fence. Near Nairn his tyre started to go down and it was dark, so he had to abandon us. We had to ring her ferocious father to come and rescue us. He towed me back home while she got to defrost in the car.
She also had 2 spectacular bruises at the tops of her thighs where my sprung saddle had been thumping on to them. With the fashion for mini skirts then, they were very visible which gave me a unearned reputation for vigorous amorous passion.
So if you see me going round IKEA saying “yes dear, no dear, I agree totally dear”, you’ll understand that it’s not a case of henpecked husband but an act of contrition which will never ever be completed.