Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 95 total)
  • What can I get a teenager to do?
  • ScottChegg
    Free Member

    My biggest lad turned 13 at Xmas. He seldom leaves the house at the weekend unless we can drag him, with much eye-rolling and huffing, to a function for the other two; rugby, gymnastics, swimming etc.

    He doesn’t want to do anything but Whatsapp his mates, play Nation States or shoot people on his Xbox. He used to do karate (black belt, got bored of it) basketball (now only occasionally at school) and a bit of rugby (got muddy, he’s above that sort of thing) now he has no interests outside of what he can get over Wifi.

    I built him a mountain bike, went for a ride, and he had to get his mum to rescue him as he ‘got a bit tired’. This on a route his 6 year old sister can do on a SS Hotrock with 16″ wheels.

    We took him to the Velodrome, which he liked, and he wanted to go road biking. I sorted out my old roadie and he went for a few short rides. Three, in fact, before deciding it wasn’t for him.

    Climbing? Doesn’t like heights. Go out somewhere with your mates? Can’t be bothered, He can just message them.

    I am struggling to find any activity that will engage his teen brain. What do other kids do to stop being a pasty shut-in?

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Burglary?

    ScottChegg
    Free Member

    Too much effort.

    And he’d have to go outside.

    mattyfez
    Full Member

    He likes shooting people on x box, take him paint balling?
    Good exercise and it’s great fun.

    beaker
    Full Member

    Change the WiFi password and restrict his data allowance on his phone?

    Drac
    Full Member

    Stop his pudding.

    mattyfez
    Full Member

    Also if he turns his nose up at the thought of paint ball, you can mercilessly ridicule him every time he plays shooting games on his x box, as not having what it takes to do it in reality!

    n0b0dy0ftheg0at
    Free Member

    Is this another question where fatbike is the correct answer? 😆

    jonnyboi
    Full Member

    What’s his relationship like with his friends? Is he online with them or playing the games solo? If he’s ok with his friends is there anything they do he could get involved in.

    I got both my kids into walking by making it an adventure, there’s normally a fire built and something cooked towards the end even if it’s s’mores but they need to earn it, plus they get to use pen knives and the like!

    jambourgie
    Free Member

    Why does he have to do stuff outside? Just cos you like the great outdoors doesn’t mean everyone does, and what’s wrong with that? It’s bloody awful out anyway. Maybe work with his interests and get him into coding or something. And a gym membership 🙂

    Not being an ass, just playing devil’s avocado.

    n0b0dy0ftheg0at
    Free Member

    Send him some Youtube clips about inactivity and DVT. 😉

    tinribz
    Free Member

    You just described my exact situation too. I was thinking of a cycling or walking challenge to aim and train for.

    Re gym, they are all 16+ only.

    perchypanther
    Free Member

    Pokémon Go?

    DickBarton
    Full Member

    Switch wifi off and tell him to go out and do stuff…or give him jobs round the house.

    Has he hit the starting point of puberty and is now into the bone idle mode…if so, he is a lost cause for next 4 years…

    I was similar except there wasn’t wifi back then…and I discovered mountain biking, was a great escape and had plenty of mishaps, adventures and misadventures without the parents or family so I suspect the dude might need time to find his thing…and hopefully it isn’t sitting inside.

    handyman153
    Free Member

    I can’t be much help..

    But I have spent the last hour on Nation States, do thanks for bringing that to my attention!

    People on here seem to like cycling.. Have you tried getting him out on a bike?

    Big + on what jambourgie said though..
    My sister was very similar at around 13-16, and stayed inside sat on Tumblr and The Sims.. However my parents got her interested in Art, and is now at Uni producing some amazing stuff!

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    Hide his Xbox controller two miles from the house every day then give him clues to its location.

    CraigW
    Free Member

    Photography? Might get him out and about anyway, to find stuff to photograph. And means he can play with cameras and computers etc, and share photos online.
    Or making Youtube videos.

    Or a quadcopter? Would have to go outside to fly it anyway.

    ScottChegg
    Free Member

    People on here seem to like cycling.. Have you tried getting him out on a bike?

    Seriously? Did you read much of the OP? Are you not ‘detail oriented’?

    However my parents got her interested in Art

    Bingo. I’m trying to find the thing that will stoke some interest and get him moving without having to push him into doing anything.

    onlysteel
    Free Member

    Watching with interest, got one of them myself. I characterise it as expecting all the benefits without any of the effort.
    Boils my piss.

    BigEaredBiker
    Free Member

    Look on the bright side; teenage preganacy rates are way down…

    As a teenager I quickly got bored of swimming and Judo I’d previously done. My dad dropped me off one evening at the local Air Training Corps unit and I never looked back. Shooting, hiking, spot of gliding and later on sneaking off with girls when on annual camp… oh, see my first point…

    btbb
    Free Member

    Cybercrime – he could make a career out of it too

    daftvader
    Free Member

    Martinhutch has the answer… and make it progressively further every day…..

    milky1980
    Free Member

    He may just be going through a phase, best advice I can give is to just keep on gently suggesting stuff to do to him and see what peaks his interest. Something will eventually and then you’ll never see him!

    Both me and my sister were massively into computer games when we were young (12 and 10 respectively), we spent the whole year playing on the MegaDrive and Atari we each got for xmas. Both parents were worried we would turn into bone idle adults at that point!! Fast forward to next summer and I was forever disappearing on my bike to wherever I fancied and my sister had taken up cross country racing! Then we both got into karting and ever since neither of us have liked standing still for long. My dad wonders how they managed to produce two hyperactive adults considering neither he nor my mum were active when we were young or now, they’re both rather chubby. I tell him it’s a reaction to that. Mum smokes, neither of us do. They’re both overweight and idle, we both bounce around like jack-in-the-boxes on speed 😀

    scruffywelder
    Free Member

    My parents neighbour had this problem with their elder kevinager. Tried everything.

    Their eventual “solution” involved iPhones, Xboxes etc. & an axe…

    Then said lad having to find a weekend job to pay for replacements 😆

    oldnpastit
    Full Member

    One of mine sounds very similar.

    We still haven’t figured out an answer.

    He played computer games to the detriment of his A levels.

    So he is now at a university he hates doing goodness only knows what.

    At least it’s near some good MTB trails which is nice for me.

    Being the parent of a teenager is not as easy as it’s cracked up to be.

    rwamartin
    Free Member

    I wouldn’t do anything. He’ll do his own thing when he is ready. Be ready to support him, even if it’s not what you’d ideally like him to be doing. Just keep an eye on him to ensure that it is normal teenager behaviour and not symptomatic of depression or anything like that.

    Trying to force him is more likely to make him go against what you’re trying to do than go along with you. Even if he likes the idea inside his head, kids won’t want to agree with their parents.

    I’m a great believer that kids need an “uncle (or aunty)”. They can be themselves with someone other than their parents but that older person can bring some fatherly/motherly wisdom into their lives without it coming directly from dad/mum.

    He’ll be fine.

    Rich.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    I’m in the “don’t sweat it” camp.

    Mines the same age. Admitedly he is a keen musician so he practices a lot, but most waking time is on a tablet or phone. He will walk or cycle if asked but will never offer.

    He has recently expressed an interest in photogtraphy, but that maybe because he likes the idea of women with no clothes on, rather than landscapes…..

    m0rk
    Free Member

    He’s not worked out that you can’t meet girls on whatsapp yet.

    Once he figures out they’re all up the local park, you won’t see him for weeks

    br
    Free Member

    I’m in the “don’t sweat it” camp.

    This.

    My 3 sons went through the same (now 18, 22 and 23), and now my OH actually likes when they DON’T go out.

    franksinatra
    Full Member

    He’ll soon develop an interest in porn so that will be something new to keep him occupied

    ScottChegg
    Free Member

    He’s not worked out that you can’t meet girls on whatsapp yet.

    His messages on Whatsapp from Scarlet in her scanties would suggest that isn’t the case.

    If he expressed an interest to stick his hand up her jumper I would consider that progress. However, he still prefers the cyber versions to the ones he might find in meatspace.

    Anyway, that’s a whole other thread.

    He’ll soon develop an interest in porn

    I had to put filters on to prevent some of the things that were upsetting his mother coming down the wire.

    I suggested the RAF Cadets. “I don’t like planes”

    Sigh.

    BigJohn
    Full Member

    What would Milo Yiannopoulos do?

    kilo
    Full Member

    If he got a black belt in karate by 13 maybe, unless they just give them out for minimal effort, he’s burnt out with doing structured exercise and cba . Leave him to find something is my vote, I don’t have kids though (but keep an eye on what he’s doing on line)

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    Just off to pick up my Kevinager who has spent the last two hours rehearsing for a duet he is playing with a young lady from his band who he is constantly on WhatsApp with.

    Not sure how I feel about this sort of “progress”…

    suburbanreuben
    Free Member

    If he got a black belt in karate by 13 maybe, unless they just give them out for minimal effort, he’s burnt out with doing structured exercise and cba . Leave him to find something is my vote, I don’t have kids though (but keep an eye on what he’s doing on line)

    This. Usually burnout is apparent to everyone except the parents.

    cranberry
    Free Member

    Are you trying to force a circle into a square ?

    In the OP did you list all the things that you like to do, thinking that he must like them too ?

    Perhaps spend a weekend in with him on the Xbox.

    jambalaya
    Free Member

    He’s getting a bit old for punishment but I’d be tempted by no phone/xbox etc unless he does at least one outdoor thing at the weekend.

    As an aside I would not have gone to pick him up when he “got tired”

    ScottChegg
    Free Member

    In the OP did you list all the things that you like to do

    Examples only of effort that has been put in. Many of the things listed I have no interest in, but it was worth a try.

    I didn’t list all the other stuff like scouts, roman digs, football, cricket, karting, archery and more that I can’t necessarily do anything with except take him to. Which I did until the shine went off it.

    Play on the Xbox? No, I’m a Sony fanboy 😆

    BigEaredBiker
    Free Member

    Just a thought on the xbox etc. I played video games alot as a tennager – C64 then Amiga, so not quite the same. I did however have to have a Saturday job to pay for them.

    Who is paying for the Xbox, XBox live, games, and even electricity? If you are then simple solution is he needs to get a job if he wants anymore. Having said that getting part-time work as a teenager might be difficult these days?

    I play on the PC’s and XBox with my 5 & 7 year olds, it’s good bonding time and I am amazed at what they build in Minecraft and other construction type games now. My 7 year old has started editing JSON files to create giant creatures in Minecraft; so there can be a positive side to video games.

    monde
    Free Member

    Is he into music? Electric guitars or mixing decks start to become alluring at that age.

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