Going on from my post on the ‘AsdaS’ thread, I though I would vent my spleen with a couple…

Firstly,
It’s Asda, not Asdas
“Aitch”, no “Haitch.
Say “text”, not “tex'” please.

One I’m not sure on…
Is it “I text her” or “I texted her”??

Anyway….

DrP

Unnecessary hyphens.

petty bug bears
fussy eaters

Girls who dress with their underwear showing (particularly bra straps). I can only presume they don’t have two mirrors in the household to check how bad that actually looks from behind.

People that don’t say thank you when I hold the door open for them.

One day someone’s face is gonna get ripped off with a claw hammer because of this.

Ya gedme blood.

talking like a third generation jamaican from peckham when you actually come from newton abbot

parking up outside the school gates leaving the engine running and just waiting for your kids to appear. this is often accompanied by pavement mounting and ignorance of the zig zags.
Being given advice on the dangers of the road/how busy it is by said people when cycling past with my kids.

People who say they will ring you and then don’t.

Front fog lights on cars

Front fog lights on cars

Not anywhere near as bad as the new LED ‘running lights’ that seem to be getting everywhere. They are getting my goat in a big way these days 🙁

“ow you spellin that?”

When saying my unusual(ish) surname to someone i get “ow are you spellin that?” not, “How do you spell your surname, please?” made worse by now living on a road with an unusual name too. I’m David “ow you spellin that?” of 41 “ow you spellin that?” road

Catflees – i have a variation on that, people that spell my name COPPER and not COOPER. Quite a different sounding word let alone the meaning! 😐

Noisy eaters.

People who call me out, given that I offer a fairly specific service, only for them to tell me that they don’t want to utilise my service, they want me to carry out a different function for them.

I also hate it when people say “hate” when they mean “don’t like”.

Insecurity lights.
If you’re afraid of the dark, buy a house by a motorway junction.

petty bug bears
fussy eaters

Amen.

“ow you spellin that?”

On a slight variation of this, when spelling my name and then being asked “Are you sure?”…

“would you like a bar of half price chocolate?”

or any other attempt at add on high profit sales.

And while i’m at it anyone in a raincoat attempting to extract money from me in a chugger fashion. Get out of my way.

People with petty bug bears.

Oh wait..

People with petty bug bears.

i read that as people with pretty big ears 😆

None of the above so far.

Them too, obviously.

People who drive in the outside lane when they are not overtaking. Travel along the A19 south between 8 and 9 in the morning to witness a convoy of such idiots and no cars in the inside lane. Other than me obviously.

‘utilise’ instead of ‘use.’

Almost every time I hear the word ‘issue’ it troubles me.

Ecksetera

People, usually in Marketing, using the word leverage when they do not mean the application of force to a fulcrum.

Improper use of apostrophes.

Middle lane hogs on motorways.

Chavs.

“At the end of the day” and “Heads up”.

“At the end of the day” and “Heads up”.

What, as in…?

“our necks were so tired that we were struggling to hold our heads up at the end of the day”

🙂

Insecurity lights.

I’ve got them but theyr’e not for (in)security, they simply able me to see what I’m not gonna walk into when it’s dark!

the phrase “can I get” normally used in coffee establishments around the UK. Drives me mental (er)

“would you like to go large with that”, no I **** would not if I wanted it large I would have friggin asked in the the first place.

Also the sales staff in Comet asking if I want any help before I ave even got 2 feet inside the door,and then asked about every 40 seconds after that,but when I DO WANT HELP they have all miraculously disappeared from site.

My draining board which doesn’t drain, water just pools on it. Really, how hard can it be……

‘Purchased’ instead of ‘bought’ in informal contexts.

MrSalmon – Member

‘Purchased’ instead of ‘bought’ in informal contexts.

There are formal and informal ways of buying stuff?

Language pedants.

Folks with no self respect.

People who creep forward at traffic lights.

YOUR **** BRAKE WORKED TO SLOW YOU DOWN OK SO KEEP PRESSING THE **** THING UNTIL THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN OR USE THE **** HANDBRAKE YOU **** ****

‘yeah, but what i’m saying is…’

i know i can hear you.

also

round here it is not ‘asdas’ but ‘the asda’. like it is the only one. the beacon of light and hope in a cruel world. the one. the only. the asda.

The word ‘addicting’. I’m not even sure it’s a word.

Lorries that attempt to overtake other lorries, but end up sitting in the middle lane going exactly the same speed as the vehicle they’re trying to overtake.

Misuse of the word ‘literally’.

“I literally exploded!”

“We’ve literally got contracts coming out of our ears!”

Looking for things to whinge about.

People who shop at The Asda, thats what they call it round here,

People who are always right, even when theyre wrong,

People who laugh at people at us who like buses and trains,

People who stand behind you tuting and tapping their feet, when in a queue,

Lonely people from yell.con, who ring up and ask do i need more work, then spend 10 minutes talking to themselves as i say yes,maybe, possibly repaeatedly, before i put the phone down.