There's codes/rules for what you can wear on certain days? - never realised that, I thought it was each to their own really
Well yes to a degree. Though full pro tour kit i.e shorts and short sleeves over winter is a no no but something you do see. Blue chicken skin legs never look good.
As for the rest? well you never want to hear a fellow roadie say it's a bit nippy or it's rather hot.
Off to look at #30 and #60
#30 I carry a mahoosive Road Morph in my jersey pocket. It's refered to as the 'Club pump' All these gaystyle mini pumps simply don't work ...end of. We have a puncture, I get called for, but I am their dad.
#60 I actually disagree in part with this. Though a valve nut isn't needed when the tyre is inflated, it can be essential in keeping things in place when trying to inflate a tyre with the above 'gaystyle' pumps. The answer? carry or fit one.
This really is tragic. If someone wants to drink 1.5 litres of water on the bike, then who cares?
I like pulling skids on my mountain bike and making motorbike noises. Are those in the rules? Jeez.
And really - is a small Camelbak really that restrictive? I don't event notice I've got a bag on. i just find it hand if I need to put owt in it. Sweaty back? Is that the biggest of your problems?
Tragic, completely and utterly tragic. 
Actually 2 x 750ml bottles is 1.5 litres?
It's your rubber, you skid it. BMW or Aprilla?
Yeah a free back is ace, on a long hot climb it really is cool...literally. Plus Camelbaks are hard to get things out of on the move, like a waterproof or bar.
But it is tragic, and the more tragic it becomes the more I like it.
a) I shall be using a peaked helmet
b) I shall be using SPD's
c) I shall be using a (small) camelback *ducks*
d) I won't be shaving my legs
e) I shall be racing other roadie's an no doubt losing 100 yrds down the road
Why is there a fear on this thread of being mistaken for a 'roadie'? It's a bike ride, not a BNP march, you don't need to distance yourself from it!
a) by all means, it's your neck that'l be hurting squintingout from under it for 4 hours, not mine
b) personal choice, but a stupid one
c) see point a but for your back, especialy on warm days, and how do you intend to take a gillet on/off.
d) no one expects you to, you're too slow to be raceing so don't pretend like there was ever a reason to do it.
e) it's a bit like saying you overtook grandad in his honda civic, so you should be on the grid for F1 next season. Not all roadies are fast, some of us just enjoy cycling arround on a sunday morning.
Neither BMW nor Aprillia Oldgit - just plain old pushbikes.
It's all a bit OCD for me, I just ride a bike and don't care what others are on, or whether they've got a bag on or whatever.
And eating and riding? Didn't your parents teach you any manners? 
Off to look at #30 and #60
You mean you haven't memorized them yet????
I've got a mini pump, and I promise you, it does work. It's just not that mini. Fits in my camelbak fine when on the mtb, but I have to stick it on the frame when on the road. Sorry all.
Agree with you on the valve collar, they just make sense, and weigh about 1g? And you can barely see them? Dust caps I just like, I think a bike looks unfinished without them, and I have some weird idea they stop the valve rusting up and getting stuck.
junkyard, my ass is a bit lower than my pockets thankfully ) don't ask me why, but when i get tired on long rides faffing with rear pockets becomes awkward and frustrating so it's become something i avoid. a personal thing, nothing more. maybe i have a high ape-index?
on the pro / cons of bags, each to their own right? i knew i shouldn't have mentioned the C-word on a roadie thread! )
1.5l on a 3-4 hr ride is a good amount and carrying bottles and a bag means i can have energy drink as well as water. I finish rides stronger when i drink enough. If i'm doing 120 hilly miles alone in the summer 2.5-3l is about right and carrying the weight is a benefit in the end too. I'm kidding myself if i ride all minimal-kit on an 18lb bike and then expect that to do me maximum good when i get on my 27lb MTTB with a day-ride bag.
roadie skill #6 - to accept that if you're on drop bars and <32c, that's good enough. Freds, off-dirt mountainbikers and club guys, is there a real difference? Today's Fred is often yesterday's club hero.
and -
#7 "The whole neat and tidy package that surrounds a club ride makes a refreshing change to normal often chaotic mountainbike rides I used to go on." - understand the importance of this one. MTB group rides are too often a faff-fest!
1.5l on a 3-4 hr ride is a good amount and carrying bottles and a bag means i can have energy drink as well as water.
One bottle with water, one bottle with energy drink, 1.5L, and you have both?
don't ask me why, but when i get tired on long rides faffing with rear pockets becomes awkward and frustrating so it's become something i avoid. a personal thing, nothing more. maybe i have a high ape-index?
But surely it's harder to stop, take off the bag, open up the bag, get what you want, close the bag, put it back on, and get started again?
I don't have a problem with you wearing a camelbak, I just have some mild curiosity over your reasoning 
don't ask me why, but when i get tired on long rides faffing with rear pockets becomes awkward and frustrating so it's become something i avoid. a personal thing, nothing more. maybe i have a high ape-index?
So you only ride a road bike to make you fitter on the mtb?
sure.. a lot of things i do on a bike have no real logic. it's just how i like it. if i do <60 miles, it's usually 1 or 2 bottles, but i often take a bag to add weight even if i don't need it. seems daft, but after loosing 3/4 stone a while back i really felt the difference on the hills. i don't want to loose that advantage, so i ride 80% of the time with 7-10lbs extra weight on bike and back. i don't notice it until i take it off on a day when i want to feel fast. i can ride no-hands happily and can access my bag without stopping much of the time (wouldn't do that in a bunch tho!) and if i need to stop, it's ok as i rarely ride with a group on-road. i will use pockets for some snacks but stuffing a top and pump etc in there gets a bit much.
i started riding on the road after a road tour in france on a slick-tyred MTB, i just loved the cols. hooked. now i ride for fitness, fun and that weird loss of sense of time i get when doing long road rides alone. plus, the desents give me a real buzz )
So you only ride a road bike to make you fitter on the mtb?
is there any other reason?
Don't be so sensitive 'spoon.
Other than the peaked helmet thing which make's a lot of sense.
For the first time (ever), I'm using a road bike for a 1 x 2hr ride per week over the winter as part of my MTB training. I'm not investing ££ in more shoes, pedals, helmets etc unless I find out thats its the "thing" for me when I can make use of my current kit.
I'm an MTB'r at heart.
If/when I do take to road biking, I'll invest in the proper kit, just like I do for my MTB'ing.
Other than that I don't give a monkey's for either road or mtb about the unwritten rules. Like every one, I'll work out what works and was doesnt taking sensible advice on the way.
An essential skill must be the ability to eject snot while riding and preferably without covering glove, shoulder or riding buddy with said snot.
This'll contravene plenty of the rules, perhaps even cause some offence in polite society. Drawn from experiences, for me they'd appear to be:
#1. It's good practice to properly mix up road and MTB groupsets (34-50 compact front, and 11-32 on the back is fine on a road-bike).
#2. At least try to remember to plat your beard on some road-rides.
#3. Ride on 28's, and bunny-hop over pot-holes / raised drains.
#4. Steel is real.
#5. Mix your wardrobe. Road shorts / tights / knee-warmers are great - "any fool can be uncomfortable", but to ensure adequate cargo space for apples / cameras / raw-fruit bars etc - wear them under baggy shorts. Road jerseys of long defunct pro-teams are also to be encouraged, along with a peaked helmet (worn with a cycling cap, or a bandana). Bonus points if the peak is from a different helmet and just taped on.
OCB for club chairman!
Dust caps?
Slam that stem then make sure you've got dust caps?
Excellent!!!!!
An essential skill must be the ability to eject snot while riding and preferably without covering glove, shoulder or riding buddy with said snot.
I'll admit to being terrible at this. Always, always ends up on my leg. I need coaching I think.
Bonus points if the peak is from a different helmet and just taped on.
Love this.
jameso, you seem a bit weird to me (no offence - maybe just different is a better way of putting it), but well done on the weight loss, and if you enjoy it, great. Guess it's no different from using a winter bike for training and your good bike for racing. I would never willingly carry unnecessary weight though 
You should defo try shaving your legs though, you might just love it...
Are there as many as 5?
Ha, thanks for the endorsements.
I might add my wisdom to the '5 MTB skillz' thread too (tho' some of it will be the same as here, the rest will involve drop-bars and rigid 29er's).
This thread is brilliant, Its like we all love cycling but the love hate between MTB and roadie is like city & utd fans - love of the sport but hate of eachother in a friendly batterfull way mostly.
I ride Road and Mtb - i wear lycra on road and baggies off, black socks all the time and never shave - even my face - lol
i ride road and enjoy it as much as off road - people seem to be more friendly off road but mostly as its like and interval set off road so there are times when u pass people and stop for a chat - on road we gunning it so usually we not avoiding saying hi, we just cant speak for fear of falling off due to lack of oxygen. lol
its hard not to race everywhere on the road bike as they force you on some how. but every now and then on longer 50+ mile rides i back off and just enjoy and its a good experience. saying that i thrash it off road to the best of my abilities. maybe im just a racer at heart - lol
my rules are
* left glove sweat
* right glove snot
* pump up tyres before every ride
* carry tube and lever and a pump take cant get over 40#psi when i want 100psi
* have a pee before you leave the house - bloody hard in lycra bibs
1. Two-piece leotard
2. Curly wurly bars
3. Hairless lady legs
4. Perverse love of tarmac
5. Never smile
This thread is brilliant, Its like we all love cycling but the love hate between MTB and roadie is like city & utd fans - love of the sport but hate of eachother in a friendly batterfull way mostly.
ha ha - nice one Don - fully agree although im a chelsea supporter so we wont go there. i was just meaning rival supporters in general really.
I agree though that you have to take it with a pinch of salt when in lycra you do get abuse. i just carry on regardless. baggies at 20MPH aint a good thing and i soon learnt the the lyrca keeps things nicely in order
riding solo on a road bike and club riding are two different skill levels IMO.
On your own you can kind of do what you like
Riding in a group you need a lot more awareness and ability to
control yr bike, cos if you get it wrong you'll make yourself extremely unpopular. for me the 5 skills are:
1. Observation - for hazards + your clubmates
2. Ability to give out hand signals whilst still keeping control of the bike
3. maintaining a steady pace which may be dictated by the group
4. Judging distance away from the bike ahead and not half-wheeling, riding too close or dropping back
5. Handling skills on fast downhills - much faster than an MTB
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