What time do they get up ??

I'm guessing not that early.

If I get past Reading on friday by midday, will I have beaten most of the Festival traffic?

I'll be travelling on the M4 east bound back to God's on country of sunny Essex.

You should be ok as most of the Festival traffic comes in by train. I used to live round there (not in Reading thank f…) & never had a problem as long as you didnt have to go near the Festival site..

Bank holiday Friday? Reading is going to be the least of your worries….

Crusties will inherit the earth, though if you see one in a car, they're not a real crusty. So I'm told.

"Bank holiday Friday? Reading is going to be the least of your worries…. "

Do I have the mistaken belief that by going from west to east I'll be going in the opposite, and hopefully right, direction of most of the holiday traffic.

yes. M25 is bad on a friday afternoon at the best of times…