when my wife makes porridge, it always tastes slightly odd and cements itself to the pan.

This morning I’ve discovered she makes it with almond milk as she prefers it like that.

Is this normal behaviour?

Life will trot along much easier for you if you simply stopped wondering whether something your wife does is normal.
Continue on the path you’ve started here and it’ll be a life of puzzlement

They can not be ‘figured out’ 😀

If she prefers it, then yes.

Ask her not to make yours, or as for normal milk.

Anything is normal for us women 😀

the problem with ladies, is that they’re just not wired right.

Much like the “what diy horror have you discovered in you house thread”, there’s always a live wire in the plaster, or a RSJ missing ready to ambush you when you least expect it, usually left by a previous owner although sometimes the cowboy builders were in from the start and then you get a real loon. 🙂

How does one milk an almond?

I didn’t even know Almond milk existed, this is very worrying behaviour I would have her tested.

Jamie – hold tight but be gentle.

Pook – Is there a nipple I should be looking for?

cowboy builders were in

Sounds like an ex of mine. It transpired that there were in fact several trades visiting the site at any one time, although I dont think she actually “entertained” any more than one at a time. 🙁

Yeah but on here, you can’t see the nipple for the tits.

Mark Almond milk?…..eeeeuuuurrrrggghhhhhh.

Beaten to it

Beaten Marc Almond milk?

*skips breakfast*

Beaten Marc Almond milk?

Now we are getting to the meat of the issue…

Do you milk him Pook?

I would have thought his wife does it

Whoa there! Never mind where or from who the milk came from – you/your wife actually make the porridge WITH milk??.

The approved sequence is:

Oats and a little water.
heat slightly until thick but not soggy
Arrange in a shape of your favourite mountain
Add a lake of milk (any flavour) at the base and add an action sequence of raisins on the slopes.

tada! This is, of course, thoroughly sound man behaviour and not open to question.

Rich you’d think Marc would let a woman milk him?

The biggest mistake you could make here is letting her know you don’t like almond milk.
Tell her you like it like that. She’ll carry on like that for a bit but the seed will be planted.

After a few weeks she’ll decide the best thing she can do is change you and start making it with normal milk.

…and start making it with normal milk.

…or she might go even further down the rabbit hole, and start using duck milk, or something.

Asp’s milk is very popular amongst the nichemongers on wierdmilktrackworld at the moment..

Might be worth a try?

Donkey milk is very much the de rigur beverage of choice among the more discerning in society. I should suggest she try it for a change.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jan/17/which-milk-is-best-organic-or-donkey
And then there’s donkey cheese.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2230677/Worlds-expensive-cheese-known-pule-donkeys-milk-costs-800-wedge.html
At £800/kilo she might have second thoughts about that… 😉