My last place, the same woman used to go round putting up the decs at Christmas. Every year. Lots of them.
She was the only Jehovah Witness in the office.

Since I got reorganised a few years ago into another dept with a different manager, I now do 1/3rd the work I used to do in a week BUT he thinks I’m the best thing since sliced bread as the majority of his original staff are useless, lazy, incompetent idiots.

Our SW Test group seem to spend all day watching Films on their PCs, whilst their automated tests run. Not surprisingly, our SW reliability is terrible…..

I believe it’s the LAW to post one of these in any 2 page thread:

My last place, the same woman used to go round putting up the decs at Christmas. Every year. Lots of them

That reminds me of another one, several years ago we got asked to contribute to an office xmas decorations fund so they could get some new tinsel etc. I refused as I work for a multi-billion dollar global company and on principle I didn’t feel I should be paying to decorate the office I work in. The rest of my team agreed and when the decorations were put up they left our little area undecorated. I’m not sure if it was supposed to be upsetting to us, I found it hilariously petty.

Blokes are not allowed to sign women’s birthday cards. People who have tried have been told off……….

Am I the only one who doesn’t understand the point of this then???? 😕

Nope

I have not had a sensible answer to B.day cards.

One place i worked a Christmas collection went round for all the secretaries who worked so hard throughout the year. I refused to give not cause i am a tight arse but I too oddly enough worked.

We have an office dog. We’re a FinTech company based in Central London!

I have not had a sensible answer to B.day cards.

I wonder if there was an incident about 20 years ago with someone being a bit stalkery, now you’ve had 100% staff turnover so no-one remembers yet the rule still applies because “we’ve always done it this way”?

We have an office dog. We’re a FinTech company based in Central London!

We have between 4-6 dogs in 2 offices we are a printing company! 😀

My dog is in the office today. I don’t think that is weird, just great!

My company paid for dog beds and dog gates and a vax…..(!) and added them to the insurance, so you could say its a dog friendly office

We just have one though. He has a bed outside the boardroom, he’s in the company newsletter, has a Facebook page, even appeared in our TV advert. Never seen another one here.

I know a retired partner at a reasonably large provincial law firm. He banned employees bringing their dogs to work when it got to the point that there were regularly more dogs than employees.

Yesterday I stole an industrial sized lamp shade for my dining room from work.

I also get copious amounts of wine as part of my salary.

Not any more if your boss knows you have light fingers!

He’d have to look up first.

langley – Member

I have not had a sensible answer to B.day cards.

One place i worked a Christmas collection went round for all the secretaries who worked so hard throughout the year. I refused to give not cause i am a tight arse but I too oddly enough worked.

We had a similar policy at my old, old place – we had to take out Admins out for lunch at Xmas and bought them a little gift. It was a bit odd in the 21st century, but we’d all been Admins before we were ‘Managers’ and there was a big gap in pay between the 2 roles, about double.

It did feel odd though, you spend all day, pretty much every day sat next to someone, working hand-in-hand and then you had to act a bit like their Dad, it wasn’t really a Boss / Sub relationship.

We are an engineering company who specialise in automatic personnel registration and muster systems. We and any visitors have to sign in and out of the building using a pen and paper.

Stupid rules? or just stupidity?

I work for a certain supermarket.

I have to clock in / out yet I’m salaried paid, and all overtime gets crossed off.

A staff canteen that closes at 4pm every day yet staff work till 10pm and then through the night.

I have to enter my car reg into the system every day yet its supposed save the reg as I enter my employee number as well.

You can’t progress unless you blonde, female and have a massive pair of jugs.

I need a proper job!!!

We have an office dog. We’re a FinTech company based in Central London!

I’ve worked on a movie where a dog got a credit on the title roller – ‘4th Assistant Director’

Our work toilets are all cubicles, no urinals.

Several blokes refuse to shut the door when they’re doing a piss. Nothing fundamentally wrong with that except given the distance between the door and the toilet, it takes a ridiculous amount of body manipulation to hold the door open with their feet/ legs and do a piss at the same point.

Absolutely no idea what the point of it is other than proving to their colleagues that they’re not getting up to any funny business in the cubicle. 😕

You can’t progress unless you blonde, female and have a massive pair of jugs.

I need a proper job!!!
or bigger jugs

We are an engineering company who specialise in automatic personnel registration and muster systems. We and any visitors have to sign in and out of the building using a pen and paper.

Lol
We are a signage company and we only just got round to putting one up on our own unit 2 years after moving in……

A guy who works for our company just got a job which is a huge step up despite the fact the job description states you need to hold a driving licence as the job is basically going round in a pickup as a first man on the scene when problems arise and visiting various work locations. This is a problem as when given the job he hadn’t even passed his test and now that he has he still needs to be driving 3 years before being allowed to drive company vehicles…

The usual, cliques who get everything that’s going for no real output and them that work that get told that their jobs are not going anywhere.

One guy get’s bored every 18 months having completed nothing in that time then starts shouting that he’s going to leave, so they create a new position for him. That has now happened twice.

“- you buy everyone else cakes on your bday”

I managed to change policy so that we give everyone their birthday off as an extra days holiday 🙂

I don’t get dogs in the office. I’m in the armed forces and when they were recently nearly banned at our place of work it caused a proper ruckus. If you haven’t organised yourself to properly care for it full time then don’t get one.

On the dogs front, a mate used to work at a place where the directors budget for grounds keeping/landscaping the new site included a couple of hundred square meters of dog run. Ended up with about 8 or 10 other dogs in there. All with permission of course.
All came crashing down spectacularly when the directors extremely expensive pedigree dog got knocked up by some scruffy mutt instead of the prime breeding dog they’d been introducing it to on a daily basis. Didn’t find out until said lady dog produced some of the ugliest purebreds ever seen. Needless to say. Mate has since gone to another job where you can’t take dogs to work……..

GM- great story 😆 !!

I work for a company which has almost 3000 employees, on one site and our parent company also own a mobile phone network provider. The finance director has to authorise any mobile telephones, our line rental is £4 per month! Probably costs more in his salary than an annual line rental cost…

I manage over 70 staff and have no operating expenditure authorisation, I can’t even buy my staff a pen!

Many people spend more time trying to get out of work than it takes to actually do the job in the first place.

I could easily go on but they pay me pretty well and I have a good pension…

My (ex)boss made me redundant, and at some point uttered words to the effect of “I’m doing everything I can to find an alternative roles in the company, but it’s not looking great”.

My former boss sit’s about 10ft from him, and on my last day told me that he’d just had to take on contract staff at my level as he’s so busy, but he only found out I was leaving the day before!

“Everything” apparently equals the square root of sod all.

We are not allowed to use company time when giving people the bumps on their birthday.
something to do with the insurance, place has gone downhill 🙄

It’s weird here but in a good way.

There are no hours of work and no set days to be in office if you go in at all. WFH is up to you, turn up when you like go home when you like.
Holidays are not monitored by anyone (we get 30) and we take them at a moments notice – I’ve taken a half day at 12.30 as someone called with a good thing to do.
I left work at 2.30 on Wednesday to go and see Predator at the Imax and then went and worked at home until 8pm – Everyone knew -nobody cared.
If you come in sick you and your germs get sent home, this freaks newbies out…
If you get caught lying about pretty much anything work related you get sacked, we’re big on honesty..

Oddly despite this lax attitude to almost everything we have the best results and highest customer ratings in the global group.

I don’t get dogs in the office. I’m in the armed forces and when they were recently nearly banned at our place of work it caused a proper ruckus. If you haven’t organised yourself to properly care for it full time then don’t get one.

It all started with us years ago when i had a dog with a tumour on her leg that needed dressings changed. Work said why not bring her in, and people liked having her around, when she died everyone missed her and i brought the next one in

It does help with everyones stress management, and we get to walk them in the field next door which is much healthier than eating lunch at your desk, or standing about smoking.

All pretty good reasons i’d say! 😛

In the US office of the company I work for you can have dogs in the office and whilst its pretty cool you need to bear in mind around 2000 people work in the US site over 8 buildings and we are consolidating to a single building so that going to be a *lot* of dogs…

The canteens are interesting too as there are dogs under tables everywhere.

See I don’t think we can have dogs in the office. We have an office dog. Obviously he has an owner, but I’ve literally never seen another one, while this one is in our TV adverts and is adopted by various people around the office!

Managers are not allowed to spend a large lump of thier bughet on obtaining some hand-reared burrowing owls to keep in the office as entertainment/minions. Bloody stupid rule if you ask me 🙁

To clock in to the factory I (used) work in, you have to first scan your hand in a hand scanner, then flash your I’d card to let you through the turnstile, then enter your 8 digit work ID into the fire regs log, then sign a log in time at the security hatch, who will then give you 4 digit pin that changes every day that lets you access the factory floor!

If you forget the pin, security make you start right from the beginning again!

At shift changes it can take up to an hour to get in!

They are now talking about fitting body scanners!

People at our place actually try to commit suicide. They also risk their lives by using unknown substances which very often results in a trip to hospital or a visit from the local paramedic.
The outside of the establishment looks lovely as the ‘boss’ has invested £££’s on fancy trees & blue shale stone chips. The wings are shitholes because there’s no mopheads, paint, (we have prisoners who’ve done a half decent course in painting & decorating but we can’t get any paint cos that department is run by Amey plc & they won’t give us any), disinfectant or many other cleaning materials. We sometimes even run out of binliners. We have a rat problem too.
‘Weird’ The prison service takes it to a new level!