Only one thing other than butter is permissible on a crumpet.

Two words:

Cheese

Single

Consider anything beyond that and quite frankly; you’re an animal!

Single what?

Pube?

Terrapin?

Specifics man, specifics.

Rusty, you’re just sooo posh

Posh?

How very dare you!
I’m complete and utter scum, I’ll have you know, like a fat Baldrick.

I’m so common I moved INTO Burnley.

Burnley? Oh how the other half live…..

Heated wing mirrors?

Heated wing mirrors?

steady on, old thing – no need to get nasty

Let me know which model and I can get you some by lunchtime……

Anyway, you live in Ramsbottom.
You’re so posh you get out of the bath to wee.

You’re so posh you get out of the bath to wee.

Binners gets a man in for that sort of thing.

Salted or unsalted?

If he’s getting the Man in – then it’s salty salted …..