Mrs S has arranged to join a group of her pals hitting the local cinema for the release of Fiddy this weekend letting me off the hook.

We were chatting about Valentines dates of the past and I was reminded of a lass I took to the cinema on the 14th back at Uni, exiting the cinema I was trying to get my arm into the sleeve of my coat, but the cuff had twisted inside out and it took a mighty shove to get into the sleeve.

Unfortunately she was stood about a foot away and as i rammed my fist through the sleeve I caught her square on the jaw pretty much knocking her out. There endeth the date.

Any disasters out there to share?

I once bought my girlfriend (now wife) a block of cheese as a present. We’d said small presents only and I thought this was a funny, silly gift. It didn’t go down well…

It didn’t go down well…

should have got her some crackers too.

In my younger days I took a young Irish lady out for a first date on Valentine’s day, to a local restaurant in west London.

The meal was progressing well, candlelit tables etc and I had ‘aspirations’ for other activities later that evening. Back in the day, smoking was allowed in restaurants and after the starter course, she wanted to have a fag (not great considering I was a non-smoker but I went with the flow).

After rummaging in her handbag and finding her ciggies, she found her lighter, only to find that it didn’t work and the candle on our table had gone out earlier, so she sat there wondering how to light her her cigarette. The table next to us still had a lit candle on it, so as quick as a flash I decided to act the gentleman.

Taking a paper napkin off my table I rolled it up tightly at one end, leant across to the next table and politely asked if I could use their candle. I then lit the end of the paper napkin and proceeded to try and light my young ladies ciggarrete. The problem was I hadn’t considered how fast the napkin would burn. By the time I’d lifted it over to our table it was well alight, by the time I leant over to light her ciggarrete it was well ablaze. I’m now sat there thinking **** and with her thinking WTF. I had no option but to drop the now-flaming napkin into the bread basket on our table before it burnt my hand. The bread basket was wooden wicker and lined with paper napkins….the initial lighting of the napkin had caused an unexpected amount of smoke, but nothing compared to the black pyre of smoke now bellowing up from our table as the flames from our bead basket started to form a small but intense inferno. Diners at adjoining tables started to move to the other end of the room and the room was silenced by one of the waiters using a fire extinguisher to put out the flames. Metaphorically the extinguishing of the flames, also signalled the end of our date….

We eventually left the restaurant in an embarrassed silence and no, I didn’t fulfil my aspirations that evening….. funnily enough I never did see her again.

First Valentines for my beloved, now my wife, I was preparing a home cooked meal. I managed to slice the top of my thumb off whilst chopping veg.

Sat through the meal with a succession of blood soaked napkins, tissues, bandages, wrapped around my thumb. Ended up in A&E to get it stitched back on. Put a slight damper on the evening.

She stuck around, so a blood soaked meal obviously didn’t repulse her enough to ditch me.

I got hit by a bus on valentine’s. She was still in a cast at the time, so we were pretty much consigned to sitting around.

We have traditionally always had fish pie on Valentine’s. Until this year, because last year we had it and both suffered from wall to wall vomiting. Beef Wellington this year.

Took a young lady to Jillys in Manchester not the place to have nice first date or romantic conversation full stop. As you have to shout into each others ears to hear each other lol

Never saw her again 😕

“We have traditionally always had fish pie on Valentine’s”

Somebody please………….

😆 at everything in this thread!

Whilst a student i took a young lady out for tea (we were too skint for dinner) and then for some romantic drinks. One thing led to another and i ended up quite drunk enthusiastically kissing her flatmate in the pub and then us both going back to the shared flat – minus my original date. That date went well. 😳

EDIT: For clarification it wasn’t a threeball !

Not sure that a threesome qualifies as a disaster 🙂

What gender was the flatmate ?

A looming disaster – On Valentines Day 25 years ago I proposed to my future wife…

…she wasn’t like her mother then, but my-word she’s doing a better impersonation of her every day!

😆

the-muffin-man, you can’t judge a book by its cover but you can judge a woman by her mother.

@slowoldman

i overslept and missed the date… and I live happily ever after

Pre MrsBouy I was engaged to Nicola, lovely Girl, really lovely Girl. 😥

That’s it.

She was lovely 😐

@bikebouy

There’s an aching sense of regret from that….

edited

IGMC

The only time I was ever so luvved up to actually splurge a bucket load of money getting a dozen red roses delivered to the object of my adoration on 14th February, the **** bitch dumped me in between the ordering and the delivery, not giving me time to cancel the order and get a refund.

Ooooh, burned!

ROFL/10 keep ’em coming!

MoreCashThanDash ROFL

The only time I bought flowers (and they cost a fortune) the girl dumped me within a week.

Swore I would never buy flower for anyone ever again! 👿

Can’t believe we’ve resurrected this thread to laugh at my suffering!

MrsMC rarely gets flowers, just in case 😐