Right this is really annoying me now. My wife hates spiders – genuinely phobic about them (has rung me in the middle of nights out/at football matches etc to go home to ‘rescue her).

Anyway, our old house had no outdoor space so we couldn’t really dry much outside (other than the odd bits n bobs – my stuff generally).

Now we have moved into a new place and have outdoor space with a rotary drier. We also have a washing machine and separate drier.

So am I being a bit unreasonable in expecting my wife to put clothes outside to dry when it is 25deg (or expecting her not to complain if I do it – saying the clothes will get covered in spiders).

To be fair there was a tiny money spider on some clothes I put out at the weekend but *arggghhh* I think it is barmy to be tumble drying clothes when we have the space (and weather) to dry outside.

[/rantover]

I would put the washing issues aside, and look into some treatment for the arachnophobia, if it is that bad.

I would put the washing issues aside, and look into some treatment for the arachnophobia, if it is that bad.

But she won’t – she thinks it is perfectly reasonable to be afraid of them and doesn’t want to *not* be afraid of them.

I know she sounds bonkers but really she isn’t 🙂

Get you with your rotary drier! I just dry my clothes on the floor in the street. How the other half live.

She’s in denial. It’s not normal to be so phobic of spiders especially in the UK where they can’t hurt you. If you lived in Australia for example that would be a different matter.

Well if it’s reasonable to have a phobia about spiders why don’t you also develop one and not “rescue her” ?

Nothing unreasonable about a spider phobia.

Shane the Sydney Funnel Web is f***in nails

Thinking about it, it’s been a while since we’ve had a decent roper thread 🙁

Edit: hope he hasn’t been eaten by one of his charges 🙁 😯

She did once (during the above-mentioned footie match) suck one up using the vacuum attachment at very long arms’ length as it was the only way she could deal with it.

When I got home *after* the match about 3 hours later, the vacuum was still on, spider spinning like nobody’s business, with a really hot (ie overheating) vacuum. 😆

The thing with phobias is they’re not reasonable – thats the whole point. Its reasonable to be wary or scared of anything poisonous, for instance, but a phobia is something other than that.

Phobias aren’t unsermountable, but not recognising something for what it is isn’t going to moving things forward for you

At the root of a lot of peoples phobia about little creepy crawlies isn’t a fear that they’ll hurt you but a fear that you’ll hurt them – a squeamishness about inadvertently injuring or killing them. Being small, quick and erratic creatures means people get rooted to the spot for fear of squashing the beastie if they try and move.

Which might be why your Mrs sucked it up Ghost Buster style with a hoover rather than twatted it with a slipper

She needs treating. Money spiders wouldn’t hurt a fly…get some on her, she’ll soon realise.

Which might be why your Mrs sucked it up Ghost Buster style with a hoover rather than twatted it with a slipper

She’s happy for me (ie encourages me) to kill them on her behalf though – it is her preferred conclusion because she knows they can’t come back.

To be fair, she can (now as I don’t pander to her phobia) cope with money spiders but she used the finding of one as ‘proof’ that putting clothes outside leads to arachnid infestations.

She’s fine with wasps & bees and didn’t bother when we had rats in the house though.

Unreasonable phobia

A double phobia!

So am I being a bit unreasonable in expecting my wife to put clothes outside to dry when it is 25deg (or expecting her not to complain if I do it – saying the clothes will get covered in spiders).

That’s not a fear of spiders, it’s a fear of imaginary spiders.

That’s not a fear of spiders, it’s a fear of imaginary spiders.

Yup

So I am not being unreasonable then? How do I get around this – I can’t cope with a tumble drier going all summer!!!!!!

How does she get out of the house every day? There might be spiders out there.

Not making light of a phobia, I know how debilitating they can be. But spiders could be anywhere, and washing on a line is no more or less likely to get “covered” in spiders than if it’s in your bathroom. I’d suggest it’s highly unlikely to get spiders on a moving rotary drier at all.

Failing that, tell her about the tumble-drier spiders. They’re really common, they hide in there when it’s too warm for them outside.

johndoh – Member

So I am not being unreasonable then? How do I get around this – I can’t cope with a tumble drier going all summer!!!!!!

Put a spider in the tumble drier for her to find?

But spiders could be anywhere, and washing on a line is no more or less likely to get “covered” in spiders than if it’s in your bathroom

But thats comparing something that might happen with something you’ve known to have happened. A friend of my mums used to climb through the hedge and walk down her neighbours drive, because she’s seen a spider, once, on her own drive. You would reason that an encounter with a spider is much more likely in a hedge – but she hadn’t encountered one there, yet, so it was the preferred option to the drive, which had previous.

She was massively phobic though, a kids drawing of a spider would set her off. She tried to climb over my mum in the drivers seat and out the window of a moving car because there was a spiders web on the passenger wing mirror.

How does she get out of the house every day? There might be spiders out there.

As Maccruiskeen says, it’s what she has known to happen – such as having windows open in the house after dusk. She once found a spider after the window had been open too late so now every time the windows are open to late she’ll turn the house upside down checking for spiders again.

And I have to leave her for about 10 minutes every night before I come to bed – it takes her that long to check all the bed covers because she once found a spider in her bed.

And then there are ‘spiders in wellies’ – she is convinced they always live there and I have witnessed it – she shook one to check and a pretty big one did drop out. I just bung the wellies on and woe-betide anything in there…

We all know it is entirely unreasonable but then all phobias are, aren’t they?

This
Although once your wife’s conquered her fear of spiders she may have no further use for you 😀

As I said towards the top though….

But she won’t – she thinks it is perfectly reasonable to be afraid of them and doesn’t want to *not* be afraid of them.

I couldn’t deal with that level of ridiculousness.

I am looking at the back lawn which is covered in 2 neat lines of clothes pegs where daughter(18) bravely got some washing in earlier today. they are on the floor cos some of the pegs were hiding tiny spiders so she chucked the pegs down to get done faster! there was a little spid above her bedroom door she wouldnt come out 😛 she plays rugby at a good standard and for yorkshire ,done Dof E gold lucky no spiders on exped! I dont like spiders much but FFS

Her arachnophobia sounds bad (I have had it at that level but it’s subsided a bit in recent years)- but it’s not so bad that can’t go out into the garden and hang the washing out – that’s bollox. That would be a level above, where spider anxiety starts influencing all of your thoughts and actions.

The link above that huckleberry posted was in the news recently and looks like a good approach. It’s a difficult nettle to grasp, though – unless the phobia is really debilitating it’s easier not to bother.

yup its bollox to avoid doing stuff now got to go and get her from work …left her bus pass in car AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHH

My wife used to be very arachnophobic. She once phoned me up and got me to drive back from work (Huddersfield to Leeds in traffic) and I found her stood on a chair staring at a fruit bowl that she’d chucked at a house spider. She’d hit it but hadn’t been able to bring herself to check so had stood up on the chair for nearly an hour waiting for me.

But she’s pretty ok with arachnids now. Why? We moved to the countryside and lived in a falling down heap of rocks next to ponds full of dragonflies. She’s even more terrified of dragonflies, so the hundreds of **** massive house spiders paled into insignificance in comparison. Now she’s pretty much fine with them.

I’m not sharing this as a possible solution or anything, I just think it’s mildly amusing. OP, your wife is mental, you have my full sympathy.

Try this, she’ll be humming the tunes and will change her outlook on it all! If not I’ll eat my hat.

[video] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9AsH5i5nJ8 [/video]

Warning – potentially offensive comment below.

I’d say using a drier when you have an option not to is pretty selfish. Pointlessly burning finite resources and the money that you guys earn should be reason enough to at least WANT to get over it.

I’d say using a drier when you have an option not to is pretty selfish. Pointlessly burning finite resources and the money that you guys earn should be reason enough to at least WANT to get over it.

It isn’t being selfish, it has manifested itself because of a phobia.

But I can understand your position – I am not happy about it either.

Hmm. If this problem is quite common, then that means that spiders are contributing towards global warming.

this is my fav spider that i see around my home 🙂 really cool little dudes.

She does realise that they probably crawl into her mouth when she’s asleep? Just make her aware of that fact a few times to demonstrate how unreasoable she’s being while conscious.

She does realise that they probably crawl into her mouth when she’s asleep? Just make her aware of that fact a few times to demonstrate how unreasoable she’s being while conscious.

She tends to keep such thoughts out of her head – she wouldn’t sleep otherwise.