Here’s my mountain bike which I’ve been having a lot of fun on going in straight lines through the mud and riding steps and small drops on my daily commutes.

Look how clean my saddles is, suckers – and quite important – rear lights. Is there anything cooler or what? Nah bruv wub wub wub wub wub.

Deeply uncool but fast and surprisingly capable at pretty much everything from road to gravel to XC.
Built for winter grime but will probably get far more use than intended.

Unique.

Full guards on suss forks? Drops on a Headshok Cannondale?

Good lord. I think you’ve both bypassed all possible levels of fashionableness, or the alternative, and attained some sort of ultimate offroad enlightenment. Well done! Impressive!

I like that dale!

Anything with a triple ring looks really dated these days. Still I like 30 gears and the chain never fell off that much any way if I’m honest….

My 69er inbred is pretty out of fashion I reckon

I know someone that could probably post a whole gallery.
Whether they’ll see this or own up to it is another matter 😉

I like the Inbred Restless, been thinking of something similar, or maybe 650b+

What’s the A-C of the fork?

APF

I don’t (don’t think ever have) own a fashionable bike. Out of three bikes remaining since The Purge I only have one MTB remaining. It was never ‘fashionable’ as it left the shop. It was/is a Raleigh M-Trax

26″ wheels?
Polished alloy bits?
Triple chainset?
Lidl cycle computer?
SKS full length mudguards?
Old fashioned seat?
North Road touring/comfort bars?
Toeclips?

Yes to all the above.

The list is endless…and I love it.

The others: First is a 3 speed utility bike which gets more use in general, even offroad. It is so monstrously unfashionable in every sense. Add some blue spoke lights, lidl ortliebalike panniers, a huge kickstand and army surplus water flask zip-tied to the frame. It is a weird thing but the most fun, even if that fun is sometimes getting critiqued by burly drunken older men outside of pubs – ie. ” That’s a WENCH bike haha HAHAH. Haha. Ha” (then attempts to hi-five his friend behind him, only his friend has now returned to the bar so he hi-fived the air and looked briefly confused) Bikes are great? At least in the UK they tend to animate/inspire/divide/anger people, one way or another…it amuses/confuses me. Just a fun thing with two wheels innit?

The last doesn’t require a pic. It is a Raleigh Twenty from 1977.

I’m nearly 50 ffs. Any attempt at fashion at my age only looks desperate. I like doing what I like to do and I like making bikes do what I want them to do.

@ Malvern Rider – I’d say double beard and then some. Thank god you have spared us pictures of you in that gold thong again! not a pretty site in conjunction with the amateur Photoshop enhanced night shots, jezuz u could av used a camera phone dog.

Yeah I forgot to mention the bar-gloves. Function over fashion. PS Crocs have holes and your feet get cold so I cleverly wear calf-length merino socks with. For remedy.

amateur photoshop

Nearly! Was trying out a full moon w/street lights pic with new camera, so used my mini tripod – but fluffed the white balance. No poor photoshopping required! 😳

Bar gloves what are they? crocs-n-merino calf-length ooooooooo nice.

Arrrgh of course full moon get the camera out, gorilla pod surely?

Bar gloves is what I put my hands in when it’s total brass minkeys out – yet desire to keep riding on and on. They are waterproof and fake-fur-lined too. No more wet, cold, inside-out-fingered gloves to dry out, squeeze out or struggle with when you dismount, do stuff, remount etc. Just slip hands in these and ride off. Slip out when you get off. Wish I’d had them years back.

Yep, gorillapod! Handiest bit of kit ever. Especially for taking night shots of unfashionable things.

This thread (and another Kronenbourg) got me thinking thinks: Utilitarian/unfashionable can upset the horses – confuses people, some get angry, some just snort and laugh, some smile, some project all manner of sophistry onto the object of their scorn. It’s a funny old society I find, beset with weird unwritten rules that don’t make the least bit of sense if you take even a few seconds to deconstruct. F*** it , ride and smile, fashion or not.

I have been racing my 26′ 100mm travel SS hardtail in Enduros, pretty unfashionable at the moment.

This guy was the father of one of the other racers who walked up and asked if I was seriously going to ride that thing and to let him know how it went after the race. Currently I am sitting 3rd in the sport class with one more round to go.

on and on – that F700 is great. Had an F500 from the same year and will always regret having to sell. Hugely capable and light frames with great geometry. Love the Headshocks too*. Never thought of drops on it though did fit some Marys which worked a treat

Those drops look as if meant to be there, except maybe a shorter stem with a little rise?

* In between expensive services/overhauls.

Two Qs?:

1. Do you have weirdly long arms?
2. Is bar tape too fashionable? 😉

@ Malvern Rider – You ever thought about posing on a Raleigh Night Burner with stunt nuts in your crocs and calf-length socks during a full moon? You have a massive advantage with your in demand balding mullet, the bikes not so much.

I like the Inbred Restless, been thinking of something similar, or maybe 650b+

What’s the A-C of the fork?

they are 440mm ones for 26″, plenty of room for a 29″ 2.4. You need to keep the front low.

I’d like to try a 650b+ up front when the cost of it all comes down

Full guards on suss forks?

I need some of these for my commuter bike, the one I’ve got is pretty shocking. sirromj – what mudguard is that and how does it attach?

I only have one bike and it is very unfashionable.

26″ wheels
Singlespeed
Rigid forks (with 420mm AC)
72 degree head angle
100mm stem
600mm bars

Would have probably been quite a desirable bike in 2003. It’s only saving grace is that the frame is Titanium, which never goes out of fashion does it?

Does my Dawes Kingpin count?
Or my 06 Spec Enduro?

Does my Dawes Kingpin count?

Nope kingpins and twenties are cool.

You ever thought about posing on a Raleigh Night Burner with stunt nuts in your crocs and calf-length socks during a full moon

Only all of the time. Grifter too.

Pre mudguards I’d get to work covered in mud and hoped people would assume I was a noble dirt warrior and look upon me with respect.
They didn’t, I now have mudguards.

My Genesis iOID probably isn’t ‘on trend’ anymore but is the one bike that can turn a dull trail into something exciting.

It’s also epic in the mud so is the weapon of choice at the moment.

@ Malvern Rider – This has the makings of an STW Christmas calender does it not? slippers, crocs and knee length merino socks.

Jan – Raleigh Grifter
Feb – Raleigh Chopper
Mar – Raleigh Night Burner
Apr – Raleigh Mustang
May – Muddy Fox Courier
Jun – Kirk Revolution
Jul – Lotus Sport
Aug – British Eagle Boss
Sep – Falcon Everest
Oct – Townsend Warlord
Nov – Saracen Tuff Trax
Dec – Al Carter Cascade

My current favourite
[/url]DSC_0297 by mike_gee32, on Flickr[/img]
1987ish Cinelli Ottomilauno, 18 speed, Biopace cranks and a chainstay mounted ubrake.

Maybe my 26″ wheeled Anthem is more unfashionable though….

on and on – Member
Deeply uncool…

Not in my eyes.

Mind you, all my bikes are unfashionable, so if I listed them, I’d wear out the thread. 🙂

It now even more uncooler. It’s sporting a shorter stem ……….. In gold 🙂

2007 Patriot?

Malvern rider,I like your ute bikes perfect for the job can you post a stw normal pic i.e. in the garden in normal light so I can steal the bits that will suit my bike and needs.I love the bar gloves very practical for the ride to work.

This reminds me of a line in a song I love – “Fashion is something so ugly it has to be changed every 15 minutes, but style is something versatile, it’s in the way you move and in the way you smile”.

My unfashionable bike?

1991 Haro

Malvern rider,I like your ute bikes perfect for the job can you post a stw normal pic i.e. in the garden in normal light so I can steal the bits that will suit my bike and needs.I love the bar gloves very practical for the ride to work.

Will sort a pic later 😀 most of my riding is at night, never thought to get a day-time one!

Most of the useful stuff was stock on the (Batavus Personal Deluxe), ie

– Shimano dynohub, front stem light w/adjustable beam (up/down)
– Rotary bell
– Huge Bayavus kick-stand (with the best ever instant extension adjustment – just squeeze and slide. Massively useful if loading up cargo on just one side of the bike, or on uneven ground)
– Shimano Nexus 3 speed. Bombproof,simple. Why require more than three? Changed the sprocket and chainring to suit hills.
– Long rear rack (keeps panniers away from pedalstrike)
– Batavus LED rack-light at the rear, with side-lights
– Trelock dual lock. Key always lives in the lock until use. Locks wheel instantly. Bike is near impossible to lift and carry any distance so this is quite secure for a quick stop, where bike is in sight, ie newsagents, cafe etc. There is also a long steel cable hidden in the frame which glides out from the U-shaped downtube locks into the Trelock on the seatstays. Long enough to lock most anywhere. Works in conjunction with the wheel-lock.
Full-length steel guards.

What I’ve added:

– Military surplus water flask (the rip-stop case for the flask is zip-tied to down-tube as no bosses exist. The plastic flask broke and yet to replace it, yet I still use the case to carry a bottle or jar of beer/bleach/vinegar/honey/milk etc when shopping. This frees up space in the panniers and carries weighty items more sensibly mid-ships.)
– B+M USB-werks charger for smartphone etc.
– Lidl clip-on panniers (sturdy clips fit oversize tubes on my rack, detachable shoulder straps, waterproof vinyl roll-tops). They work for shopping and swimming. Mesh outer pockets useful, can dry goggles post-swim. Instantly detachable means they function as sturdy shopping bags from till to bike.
– Spoke light. Because I ride mostly at night. Increases visibility from the side.
– Freeload* sport front rack. Fits on with ratcheted webbing straps. Very secure and easily swapped onto other bikes. Plenty of bungee options for bulky items. Great for camping.
– Cyglove handlebar muffs. These were a surprise Xmas gift. Never would’ve thought of them as lifelong glove-user. Turned out to be the best things ever. Nice toasty fakefur-lining. Only prob is overheating on long climbs, so just slip hands out and hold around the muffs.

*Now manufactured by Thule

Think that’s it! Nothing is superfluous.

*Edit

I think the kick-stand is re-badged as the Spanninga ‘Libra’ seems near-identical.

There you go – in all her gopping fashion-less glory:

You can now see why I ride at night – because the villagers attack it with sticks if caught out in daylight

I think Malvern Rider is taking things a step too far, I’m almost siding with the villagers, especially as non of his bikes are mountain bikes – you have to ride them off road, that’s the implicit rule!