When I was younger I had a bizzare dream where the Borg were slowly assimilating our neighbourhood, except nobody seemed to realise except me and a couple of my friends.

Somehow we managed to work out that the only way to stop them trying to assimilate you was to cover your face with Jam.

I flippin HATE Jam.

Mr Woppit – Member

Had sex.

Think yourself lucky, I don’t even have it in dreams anymore.

Just last night I dreamt a beggar came up to me in the street clearly in great need of “a cup of tea mate” or something. I brushed him aside and his head hit the wall. I think I killed him. I’m frightened to go out now in case he’s lying there.

HughStew – Member

Dunno, I’m not a qualified dreamologist.

You are now.

**** oarsum! Cheers Hugh!

Now, who wants to know how much they fancy their mum?

I’ve drowned several times in my dreams.. really odd when you think you are dead then wake up.

Rob, now that you’re authorised to diagnose can you help me?
In last night’s dream I drove past a polar bear in the road with pink socks on it’s ears. What does it mean? Because frankly I’m now terrified of my subconscious 😯

I also had a dream about a polar bear. I went to someone’s house, and they had three pets. I think the other two were maybe a lion and a wolf, but they had this polar bear and it decided it wanted to play with me. I thought it was probably just play fighting but I was a bit afraid, so I kept looking at the owner to get them to call it off, but she just said something like ‘oh he’s only playing’. A huge bear ffs!

Wheelies, always bloody wheelies

Last night

I was in the pub with the missus [ neither of us drink so quite unlikely tbh] and Peter stringfellow was rude to her so I battered him [ i have never had a fight in my life and I wont be starting with pensioners.

Dreamed this week about leaving some event in America in a chauffeur-driven execmobile, the middle-aged American driver said we had to make a detour to Pigeonville and could I look it up on the big, folding map he had. Couldn’t find Pigeonville but Pageville, little village by a harbour, when I looked up from the map, he was apologetically driving us off the end of the pier and into the harbour by way of suiciding himself. He’d locked the doors and stopped me from hitting the central locking button, so I throttled him with his seatbelt and was trying to work out how to smash a window when I woke up. Spent a considerable amount of time trying to work out how I’d smash it, should it come through, but no ideas I’ve any confidence in just yet. Let me know if you’ve got any. 🙂

I also occasionally have very lifelike dreams about wheelying, and I’m always disappointed to get on a bike and find that I can’t. 🙁

Since sex stopped happening in my marriage some months ago I have had three dreams in which random women, one of them a colleague, have come and embraced me in a very nice way. I must admit I was sorry to wake up.

I have defeated and killed Darth Vader during a lightsaber duel in an underground car park in Croydon. Twice.

You’re obviously fairly slapdash in despatching Sith lords if you’ve had to defeat him twice, young Jedi…

Has anyone been in the middle of a great dream 😉 and then woke mid dream for whatever reason (a pee usually) then got back in bed and attempted in vain to try and continue the dream where you left it, a bit like pausing on SKY+ (never happens) 🙂