Right seeing as you are serious this is what i would do, first take out some kitchen roll/bloting paper when you next ride the bike to find out if there really is no oil on the uppers.
So lets assume there is no oil on the stanchions, give them a full service by the book getting loads of fresh oil on the sponge thing below the seals. See if that works I would hope so.
But lets assume it does not work. I would go to your local fabric shop and buy some leather not much lets say a foot square (they'll probably sell it in metric) Right now get some tooth paste I remember arm and hammer being more pastey, but any should do and put this on the stanchions or leather (you'll have to take the fork apart) now rub them you'll soon find a method that works.
I use this as my second to last process when sharpening chisels or hand planes, but as your stanchions are highly polished already this should do the reverse and do as you want. If you want a grinding compound either go ask at your local polishers or a quick google brought up grounded pumice stone and petroleum jelly, which sounds great.