Every night for the past 6-8 weeks our 3 year old has decided he wants to get out of bed after bedtime and do a pee on the floor somewhere. He also opens the curtains/pulls them down. When we go in to check on him he is happy to show us the pee. It’s driving us mad!

We put him on the potty 2-3x during the bedtime routine. I have taken to removing all of his bedding and toys when he does this as a sort of punishment, but it’s absolutely not sinking in and he keeps doing it. I’ve no idea what to do! We don’t spank the kids, though I can see a life where that would be an efficient way of getting a little bit of obedience, but it’s just not us.

Has anyone had this or have any ideas we could try to stop it? His room stinks like a public bog and the curtain rails have been broken and bodged back into place a couple of times.

He’s in his room right now, nothing to play with at all, no bedding, lights all on. But he doesn’t seem bothered. How can I punish him!? Open the windows and make him cold? Desperate!

Withhold ALL pudding.

Punishment won’t work, needs loads of positive reinforcement of good toilet behaviour, just training rat #2, nightmare, he was stood at the top of the stairs proudly brandishing a turd last week. just keep smiling (through gritted teeth) it’ll be worth it in the end…..

Second stabiliser. Punishment* won’t work – rewards for making it through the night dry? (But you gotta stick with it.)

*This is so easy to say to someone, but believe me, from someone who’s not afraid to admit that sometimes, you’re driven to punishment, because you’ve reached the end of your tether. Best of luck with it, and hey, as we all know, this too shall pass.

I have to say, toilet training was my least favourite period of dd’s four and a bit years so far.

Put a nappy on at night time until he is ready to not have them?

Agree with above – it’s a mind game with kids. Don’t get mad, just sadly say you thought he wasn’t a baby any more, and wasn’t it sad that he had to still wear nappies. Rewards can be tricky, you can get into the cycle of rewarding something they should be doing anyway, but perhaps a sticker chart where he gets a star for every dry night – toddlers will do almost anything for stickers.

Punishment rarely works with kids.

Put newspaper down. Give him a biscuit every time he pishes on the paper. Gradually move the newspaper closer to the door and eventually outside to the garden.

It’s not at all uncommon for boys to still wet the bed when they go to Uni..in all seriousness! I think its a case of suffer in silence till it goes away. It will get better.

Lol @ Perchy!

Seriously, reward chart – gets them thinking.

Wee buggers.

Put newspaper down. Give him a biscuit every time he pishes on the paper. Gradually move the newspaper closer to the door and eventually outside to the garden

😆

Back in to nappies

And reward, not punishment

At least yours is getting out of bed! Despite potty in room, rewards galore, much patience and encouragement, our 4 yr old just doesn’t see the point in getting up to pish.

We already use a reward chart.
We do put on nappies at night as he’s not dry overnight.
How can we do rewards when he’s pee’d somewhere every single night? Not a single morning has passed where we could say “well done for not peeing”.

OK, I typed the OP in the middle of a red mist moment. But I have utterly NO idea what to do! I know he’ll grow out of it eventually, but are we going to have to get new underlay and carpets when he does? It’s RANK!

I found him crawling into the bottom drawer of his wardrobe unit and went a bit mad, grabbed him by the scruff and lobbed him into bed. He changed after that and whimpered and cried until I brought his blanket/pillow/teddy in and settled him to bed. But I don’t want to have to break him emotionally every night to get him to sleep!

Oh, and we suddenly thought how f***ing dangerous him climbing into that drawer is! The unit’s not bolted to the wall, although it is a very heavy unit and I can’t see it tipping, but we’re going to sort this out tomorrow. Feel sick thinking about the fact I didn’t spot this danger sooner 🙁

if it’s not a physical thing, has there been any emotional stuff going on at home?

Does he seem remorsful afterwards?

Have you asked him in the calmist manner possible, to put rubber gloves on him and to get scrubbing?

all just thoughts

Is the cue to wake up and go for a wee in the night not thought to be a biological thing that happens at a time determined by the body? Messing with this by forcing them to be dry overnight can mess up the bodies automatic development of this.

Hence our 4yo is still in pull ups at night, but our 2yo seems dry most mornings, but isn’t potty trained. Both girls though, and the 4yo had a series of UTI’s that messed up potty training after we’d gone too early with it…

Yeah. Dry at night/using potty at night for us was approaching 4. We tried at 3 but he wasn’t ready so we didn’t push it.

We also found that having a duvet cover that he LOVED and Pyjamas that he didn’t want ro ruin also helped.

Could you place a king sized waterproof mattress cover on his floor whilst you’re trying? If you have 2, you can wash when required and still have a spare?

When my brother and I were toddlers (late 60s) if we stayed at my grandparents we had a bucket in our room over night.
We considered this a treat and couldn’t wait to piss in it. It made a fantastic noise.
Maybe get a bucket.

Rub its face in it.

Make him clean it up

I found him crawling into the bottom drawer of his wardrobe unit and went a bit mad, grabbed him by the scruff and lobbed him into bed. He changed after that and whimpered and cried until I brought his blanket/pillow/teddy in and settled him to bed. But I don’t want to have to break him emotionally every night to get him to sleep!

Oh, and we suddenly thought how f***ing dangerous him climbing into that drawer is! The unit’s not bolted to the wall, although it is a very heavy unit and I can’t see it tipping, but we’re going to sort this out tomorrow. Feel sick thinking about the fact I didn’t spot this danger sooner

While I can appreciate that kids are bloody infuriating sometimes, your angry physical response directed at a three-year-old for something that wasn’t his fault should be an opportunity to take a step back and a deep breath. You were angry at yourself for missing the danger, and took it out on him.

Sounds like a bit of a minging phase he’s going through, but talk of punishment will get you nowhere.

Does he go in the potty during the day? Reward him for it. When are you giving him his last drink? Perhaps a bit earlier so he might get off to sleep properly without needing a piss. Perhaps sit in the same room while he’s getting off to sleep – if he’s about to take a leak, put him on the potty, and reward him for it.

Forget his age and what your friends may have done with their children (these two points often seem to determine when to get a child out of nappies). Do it when it feels right. We tried a few times, clearly wasnt right, went back to nappies and waited. When they were ready no issue at all.

Also, I know two children punished by parents in this process and they now have, at age six and eight, bed wetting issues. Imo punishing a three year old is not going to provide a positive outcome.

21 posts and no one had suggested weeing in his shoes yet?
isdisapoints

Can you not ask him to pee before bed? We potty ours just before he gets in.

Also I think the bucket is a good idea. Can move it further towards the bathroom like the disappearing chair routine?

I’m the same when I’ve had a drink.

Let me know if you come up with a solution please.

Clothes peg

Potty in his room?

Three is young and actions are subconscious at night.

I used to lift my boys, just before I went to bed – placing a potty in front of them so they could pee in it – and then they slept, dry, through the night.

That’s all I can suggest. Other than that, they market night-time nappies for a reason.

So he’s taking his nappy off to have a wee?

Yes, not sure if I was clear enough. The potty does go in his room. He does a pee 2-3x during the bedtime routine, before and after bath. And he’s not getting up to pee in his sleep… he’s deliberately waiting until daddy closes the bedroom door, then jumping out of bed, pulling down his nappy and peeing in the room somewhere on purpose. Just a little one, like a dog marking a tree! It’s nothing but cheek!

Ignore it. He knows he gets a reaction. Like all kids, he doesn’t want to go to bed. He’ll pee, you’ll ignore it, he’ll eventually fall asleep, you’ll clean it up when he’s totally out for the count. In his eyes it hasn’t provoked a reaction and therefore it won’t be long before he decides it isn’t worth doing.

Hi Glasgowdan, glad you’re breathing a bit easier than the OP you put up in the red mist. Please remember any advice is being given based on no actual first hand knowledge of your kid, just what you’ve told us and also my experience with a daughter. Right, disclaimer done, on to advice.

As pretty much every sensible answer suggests, punishment is not the way forward, nor is guilting the behaviour. All this does is make child feel rubbish which brings about issues all of their own which are often disguised within other “bad” behaviours.

I don’t know if you’re a talker with your lad, but it does sound like some chat time is needed. Have you asked him why he does it? I know he’s only 3 but he may be able to give an answer. It may be an attention seeking behavior that he has sussed gets you back in the room once he’s gone to bed. Is he actually ready for bed/sleepy? Did it start around about clocks changing time? Our lass is taking much longer to settle to bed now it’s lighter at night (she is almost 7 now though) and I can remember over previous years she’d be a right pain calling us back up because she wasn’t tired. We got her blackout blinds and a bright bedside light and said she could read, draw or play with toys on her bed until she was tired. She now self settles really well (mostly) but it took a lot of work and deep breathes on our behalf.

A lot of it sounds like he may think it’s a really funny game that gets your attention but as I said, this is entirely based on the info you’ve given.

I hope it helps at least a little. Good luck.