Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 114 total)
  • Today I kicked off properly with a security guard in a supermarket!
  • geetee1972
    Free Member

    I was equally in the wrong. This isn’t one of those ‘there was an altercation and it wasn’t my fault’ posts. I’m just properly upset and need to share/vent.

    So it’s been a very tough morning; wife’s been away all week, I’ve been doing the day job as well as the morning and evening shifts with the kids. We all went into town today to get some lunch and then a shop but as it turned out the wife is just too tired to be able to keep up with our kids who are being seriously difficult.

    So I’ve gone to do the shopping without her, so she can have a break, and have had to man handle my youngest kicking and screaming across town only to find that he refuses to sit in the chair of the trolley, but he’s quite happy to sit inside the trolley itself. Fine. Let’s keep life simple.

    But the security guards have different ideas. I get a fairly gruff verbal notice from one as I walk in and in all honesty, sure I thought screw you there’s no way this works any other way. So I say nothing and just carry on. The next thing I know, one of his colleagues has raced up in front of me and fairly roughly grabbed the trolley and officiously informed me to get my sone out of the trolley.

    I lost it. I mean totally lost it. I didn’t react violently but the red mist came down. As far as I was concerned, grabbing the trolley as he did was tantamount to assaulting my son. Of course, it wan’t, but having already come in to the store at about nine out of 10 on the stress score, to then have this oaf of a security guard deal with me in this brusque and (physically) rough way I was just so angry and extremely defensive.

    I confess I kicked off and demanded they let go of the trolley and when they didn’t I think it came pretty close to being physical.

    Needless to say both my kids were balling their eyes out with fear.

    In conversation with the store manager aftewards, my side of the story was focused on the way they dealt with the situation; I accept their policy and my ignoring it. He, the store manager, was a super star. Patient, empathetic, explained why they had the policy in the first place, took time to listen and be objective. He really put me at my ease. If only the security guards had done the same initially none of this would have happened. I bet if I’d been a mum with her kids they wouldn’t have dared approach the situation like that.

    As I said, I just need to share. I’m upset. It’s not been a good morning!

    jambalaya
    Free Member

    Tough really as its their job to say no kids in trolley but they clearly over-reacted and then so did you. Score draw really !

    neilsonwheels
    Free Member

    If only the security guards had done the same initially

    Unfortunately the national minimum wage they pay for those positions does not attract people who posses those skills.

    cloudnine
    Free Member

    Sometimes shit happens and you lose it. We all do it at some point.
    At least nobody got punched and you might wind it down or identity the stress levels needed to push you over the edge next time.

    Try and chill out and don’t lose sleep re running the events over in your head.

    timc
    Free Member

    Mountain out of a mole hill

    manvstarmac
    Full Member

    Terribly sorry the OP was put in that situation by what sounds like guards spoiling for a fight.

    unovolo
    Free Member

    I take my 3yr old son round Tesco all the time with him sat inside with no trouble whatsoever, and remember doing the same when I was little.
    In my eyes theres too much health and safety bullshit being roled out where common sense would suffice.

    In comparison it seems councils feel its quite acceptable to let small children stand 7/8ft in the air at the top of a slide with very little to prevent them falling except the keen eye of a responsible adult, but amateur police in supermarkets feel its totally unacceptable for the same kid to be 18inches off the floor surrounded by a metal cage.

    Pigface
    Free Member

    We have all done it or similar, check these guys out.

    [video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCFOObsx_W4[/video]

    geetee1972
    Free Member

    Mountain out of a mole hill

    That’s the thing with having kids and all the stress that can go with them. It causes you to do exactly that.

    bearnecessities
    Full Member

    They were an arse.
    You were an arse.

    Seems fair 😀

    Might have helped to get some of it out of your system!

    deadlydarcy
    Free Member

    With hindsight (and truly I don’t mean to patronise), you might realise that with kids who are having a “we’re going to be a massive pain in your arse” day, letting them blow off steam in the park might have been better than taking them shopping. I think one of the hardest things I’ve learned over the last few years (of being a dad) is how to pre-empt when things are going to get stressful and difficult and then taking avoidance steps so as not to get to the point where everyone has a meltdown.

    Anyway, sounds like the store manager cooled things down a bit.

    It’s funny how after losing it like that, many of us end up spending the rest of the day feeling shittier than we otherwise would…replaying it over and over…”shoulda done this, shoulda said that…”

    Look, no need to beat yourself up over it, lesson learned and maybe it might be an idea to apologise to the security guys if you feel you over-reacted and explain that you’d been having a bad day, you can’t take back what happened, but you wish you’d have reacted differently.

    DezB
    Free Member

    And why do they have this policy? To ensure the safety of your kids?
    Then it’s the parent’s fault if you break the rules and the kid gets hurt. Can’t believe security would get in a tizz about it..they must’ve been bored!

    geetee1972
    Free Member

    With hindsight (and truly I don’t mean to patronise),

    None taken.

    It was raining (didn’t help); park wasn’t an option (which is a shame because there is one in the carpark of the supermarket.

    But more relevantly ‘I thought I could handle it’ 😀

    deadlydarcy
    Free Member

    But more relevantly ‘I thought I could handle it’

    😀

    Bindaredundat

    muppetWrangler
    Free Member

    As far as I was concerned, grabbing the trolley as he did was tantamount to assaulting my son

    It really wasn’t, was it?

    seadog101
    Full Member

    Meanwhile, as the security goons are all over you, half a dozen ne’er-do-well types are helping themselves to some of the days profits… Take that as a way of feeling better about the day.

    deadlydarcy
    Free Member

    It really wasn’t, was it?

    I think we’ve all, including the OP, accepted that. But well done you for pointing it out again. 🙂

    unovolo
    Free Member

    Maybe you need to send your Grandpa in,
    http://youtu.be/_MSrAwfagG4

    <iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/_MSrAwfagG4&#8243; frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>

    monkeyfudger
    Free Member

    You clearly need to work or your scowl, security guards never bother me and I look like a right weedy fecker, it’s all in the crazy eyes… 😉

    martinhutch
    Full Member

    Security guards at my Tesco don’t even stir when people randomly set the alarms off on the way out. It’s nice to know what gets them moving.

    DrP
    Full Member

    It’s a bit like the time I was ice skating with my son, he fell and hit his head, and I picked him up whilst he balled his eyes out..
    One of the rink police came up and said I couldn’t hold him/cuddle him on the ice…
    I gave him the most curt stare and growled “keep on skating…”!

    There’s rules then there’s rules!

    DrP

    ampthill
    Full Member

    First of all, my sympathies for a difficult situation. Good that you can see where you went wrong. Good that you could share it

    Now for a suggestion. Ignore it if I’m missing the point. This may not work for you

    My kids were such a PITA in a supermarket that for years and years we never went to one. We just shopped online. It means that if you are both working full time it’s half of weekend day stuck at home for one of us. But it was the right compromise for us

    I understand that this wasn’t something you could have initiated this weekend

    geetee1972
    Free Member

    I did the online shop this morning. This was just to get what we needed for this evening! But yes, take your point Ampthill. Good to know it’s not just my kids that are a PITA when it comes to supermarkets.

    wrecker
    Free Member

    “your blokes were being dicks so I thought I’d join in!”
    Don’t dwell on it mate, these things happen. Nobody got hurt and hopefully the security guards will be a little more tactful in future.
    Definitely work on your stare, and learn to growl warnings in a quiet manner in advance of going to DEFCON2.

    thegreatape
    Free Member

    Fair play to you for seeing it objectively in hindsight. We’ve can all be a bit silly occasionally, and for some of us that’s out of character 🙂

    Interesting contrast between 1) slightly nobbish behaviour plus subsequent acknowledgement of same = understanding from the masses – as it should be in my opinion – compared to 2) nobbish behaviour followed by selfrightousness = merciless mockery from the masses.

    just5minutes
    Free Member

    sharing this in case it helps anyone

    [video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6eFFCi12v8[/video]

    MrWoppit
    Free Member

    Clearly, you didn’t have your bombers with you. OOI – you’re near me, aren’t you? What supermarket? Might be worth a laugh to go on a wind-up…

    globalti
    Free Member

    When companies employ idiots they have to give them the rules and they can’t expect those idiots to exercise any judgement. I’m in the middle of a barney with an idiot in Personnel over my relaxed attitude to time keeping, export sales people are expected to work all hours and spend 4 months away from home so we’ve always been relaxed. This idiot is trying to enforce the rules rigidly and needs to have it explained to her – my boss is going to deal with it on Monday; he’s a good boss.

    Cougar
    Full Member

    explained why they had the policy in the first place,

    Why’s that, then?

    jambourgie
    Free Member

    Don’t try and fight with low-paid idiots in positions of power. There’s a reason they go for those jobs. See also: Bailiffs, Bouncers, TV Licencing enforcers, half the police force, & children with AK47’s in African warzones. It’s just not worth it, suck it up and shop somewhere where you can keep your sprog in the trolley. Oh, and do some yoga if you get a minute 😉

    geetee1972
    Free Member

    Why’s that, then?

    Apparently they have had several accidents lately with kids overbalancing the trolleys and also complaints from other customers that kids can end up depositing dog mess or mud in the bottom of the trolley.

    All valid issues. I’ve not really got a problem with them enforcing the rule, just the way the guys handled it.

    manton69
    Full Member

    The security guys seem to need basic hostile situations training. You showed all the signs of not being co-operative so to do something that can be seen as massively confrontational is always going to go badly.
    Nobody got hurt and the manager seems to have sorted it.

    Sometimes you just need to vent and here is as good as any other option. Bearing all that in mind as you have got many tokens in the bank are you going for a ride tomorrow 😉

    geetee1972
    Free Member

    You’fe damn right I’m going riding tomorrow.

    poah
    Free Member

    kids are better off in the trolley than running around the shop annoying the staff and other customers. I only ask people to get kids off the side of trolleys as they can fall and hurt themselves.

    sharkbait
    Free Member

    Is this Tesco? If so, what a stupid policy! Never come across that one before.

    Anyway, you know you were in the wrong so you won’t mind me saying that …

    I’ve been doing the day job as well as the morning and evening shifts with the kids

    is not an excuse (and yes, I have three kids including twins).

    Chill and forget about it – then do you’re shopping online.

    edit: why do they have this policy?

    fallsoffalot
    Free Member

    The security guard asked you to take the child out of the trolley and you ignored him totally. he was doing what that really nice store manager tells him to do.

    geetee1972
    Free Member

    The security guard asked you to take the child out of the trolley and you ignored him totally. he was doing what that really nice store manager tells him to do.

    Well that’s almost what happened but not quite…..

    nickjb
    Free Member

    If so, what a stupid policy

    No. Sensible policy. Stops the supermarket getting sued when the kid tips the trolley over and stops the next customer getting dog shit all over their fruit and veg. Hope you apologised to the security guard.

    singletrackmind
    Full Member

    My local big Tesco has kids in trolleys . Lots of them , ‘rents seem to love it having child in a cage . Kids love being in a cage , its a win – win .
    I can see them toppling over if over reaching , and the mud excuse is plausible , but abit how are kids going to learn balance and risk / consequence rules if no one lets them do anything mildly dangerous.

    At Go Ape there is a big risk assesment sign that explains 1% of participants need first aid due to being injured on the ropes. Never get away with that in the workplace. I though it was great fun.

    geetee1972
    Free Member

    Hope you apologised to the security guard.

    Why would I do that? He was bang out of order the way he handled it and I did what any parent would do in that situation. I may have been wrong on the kid being in the trolley and for ignoring the first guy, but when the second guy tried to yank the trolley out of me and became aggressive in front of my kids, there isn’t a parent in the land who wouldn’t have done what I did.

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