I went to see my best friend, got no response from the door nor the phone,
So went home to get a key and let me self in.

I found him layed out on his bedroom floor.
He got up in the night to use the loo, felt dizzy and fell forward banged his head on the wall then fell on his head fracturing his something peg in his C spine.

I have been at the hospital all day dealing with the nurses and doctors and getting any information out of them was like getting blood out of a stone. Every time I asked I was just told he has fractured his neck.

Only after telling the doctor that it was not good enough did she actually tell me his exact injury and prognosis stopping half way through to tell me there was no point point telling me what she was telling me because I would not know what what it is she was telling me.

And then finished by telling me that due to his age and other health issues that this could bring about his end of life something or other, basically saying it could kill him.

I can not remember the exact phrase she used but the way she said it it was like I had just rang up a Hoover repair man to see of he had fixed my Hoover and he was basically telling me in bullshit speak that it was knackered.

It’s been a strange day.

shit… good wishes to you both… hope he’s ok.

This could be his end of life event, something along those lines.

It’s not an event.

I am still hopeful and I have been emotionless all day and it was not untill I walked out of the hospital into the car park tonight to come home that it hit me.

my best wishes for him to make a full recovery.

Chip – at least he’s in the hospital receiving care because you found him!

If you hadn’t, he would have no chance at all. And they may be reluctant to give you info on his condition if you are not family.

Best wishes for your friend’s recovery.

I hope I have a mate like you. Because it appears to me that, not only did you potentially save him last night, you continue to fight for him now. Get some rest, and chat to some people. Go for a quick spin. Recharge, then endeavour to find out more information with a different perspective. Good work fella.

What JoeG and bullheart says. Hope today brings better news for you.

Ditto above comments. You’ve been a good friend and without you he would certainly be a lot worse off. Doctors are only human and sometimes they are not the best communicators, they may just be trying to prepare you for the worst. The important thing is that they are saying ‘could”, not ‘will’ shorten his life. Stay in there, your neighbour is very lucky to have you!

Odontoid peg fracture. It’s one of those things that can go either way. People can die or be left paralysed, or they can spend 6 weeks in a hrd collar and be absolutely fine. You would be struggling to get information out of them for a number of reasons including; they dont have it to give, they are not allowed to give you it, or they are unsure of either of the above because they have lots of other patients and things are changing very quickly. I have three patients with peg fractures at present. They should all make full recoveries.

Good karma Chip hope your friend is ok

You are obviously a great friend. I hope if I was in that situation one of my friends would do the same for me.

Take care of yourself.

Best wishes to you and your friend, chip.

Chip, pat yourself on the back. Your initial concern probably saved his life

I hope it all turns out ok, best wishes.

Steve

Thanks to everyone for your best wishes.
My friend ended up on a general ward in a far corner from the nurses station despite having a spine fracture being repeatedly sick an suffering seizures in resus.

I got a phone call at 5, o’clock in the morning say he was having seizures on the ward and was very poorly. I went to the hospital in time to see him being taken to theatre to be incubated before going to ITU.

This morning I was told when I rang that he would be transferred to st Mary’s tonight which Changed in the afternoon
He would stay in itu because he his fracture was stable and that even if he needed to go he couldn’t because there were no beds available.
He also now has developed Pneumonia while being ventilated.

Now on arrival my friend was asked who he wanted to be his next of kin and He expressly asked for me as I have helped him, and cared for him when required for some time now.
His closest blood relatives are nephews and niece he does not see from one year to the next who have never visited him in hospital before and stand to do very well indeed financially from his demise.

One of he’s nephews is a doctor, registrar I believe but still chose me as I stand to gain nothing if he dies Infact I will be far worse off as I burnt a lot of bridges with people ringing me to do work in order to help get over some major operations last year and I was getting to the point where he was nearly there before this happened and knows I would never give up on him.

When I was put down as next of kin I asked, not him, could his brother in law be put down as to be contacted if things changed as there his family and shoild be kept informed.
And I am quite happy for him to be be kept involved.

The doctor nephew again comes in and again despite not being down as next of kin is being given freedom of information by the hospital because he is a doctor,

All of these things I don’t mind. But today he was given a different reason to me for my freind not being transferred to st Mary’s and he is always being consulted privately not in my presence.

So I am worried that he will be consulted and will be allowed to make decisions in his uncles treatment,
I have spoken about this to a mutual freind of mine and my injured friend who is a police officer who is aware of the situation and knows how little interest his family has shown untill now said they would get involved if I believed his wishes were not bein respected by the hospital.

Now his nephew is better qualified for the job than me, and is a decent chap and I believe he wishes his uncle no harm,
But my friend chose me because he knew I would not let reason cloud my judgement if the hospital wanted to pull the plug.

I don’t want to cause trouble but I don’t want to let my friend down and I know certain members of his family will find his money a great comfort if you know what I am saying.

Worse thing is I feel constantly sick.
If I am to believe the hospital his neck is no longer an serious issue and his battle is with Pneumonia, so hopefully he recovers and every thing above makes no odds.

massive respect to you Chip for being there for your friend…its times like these when you truly find out who is there for you and who really cares. your friend is lucky to have someone like you in his corner.
hope your friend makes a recovery

Well done Chip and what a great friends you are. Must be an awful time for you.

I know it’ll provide no comfort but initially why they wouldn’t tell you anything is that we can’t. We even have to get permission to tell family never mind friends as good as you.

Anyway, you’re obviously a great friend to him, I wish you and him the best of luck.

Worse thing is I feel constantly sick.

Are you eating okay? Can make things a lot worse if you’re not getting the essentials.

And hats off, fella. You sound like really nice and careful chap.

Sorry, I meant caring, not careful. Though it could be argued that you are, indeed, full of care.

Hope it all pans out for the best.

I am being fobbed off now in favour of his family’s, previous nurses had been very forthcoming but my latest conversation i was told when directly quoting what I was previously told word for word I must be muddled.
And I don’t need to know stuff.

Last year I pulled up on my bike outside my friends house to pop in at about 4 in the afternoon and the one family member who visits him happened to get there a bit before me and when he saw me started to run to the door.

I walked through the door 5 seconds after him to find my friend upstairs not being able to get out of the bed in a very bad way and immediatly called an ambulance.
Turns out that same relative had found him in that exact state that morning and instead of calling him an ambulance had gone off to play golf. When the ambulance arrived she asked had he had his medication including heart medication today and the he said no because it was down stairs.

The paramedic went mad.
His relative only ran to the door when he saw me coming and may not have deliberately gone away to leave him to die but may have merely thought more of his game of golf than his relatives welfare.

Another middle aged relative only saw him once a year on their birthday to get money.

And now these are the very people the hospital are favouring as his nurse told me yesterday although he asked for me watford generals trust still give the relatives priority.
I am not helping myself by become more frustrated by this situation and coming across a bit angry because I am, although I don’t wish to present my self aggressively.

It is so hard to sit and watch this happening.

I am not eating or sleeping and my brain is starting to go into melt down as this is all I can think about.
I tried to join in on a few trivial post to take my mind off things.

I am not helping myself by become more frustrated by this situation and coming across a bit angry because I am although I don’t wish to present my self aggressively.

Although your obvious concern is understandable I think you need to accept that while your friend in the care of the hospital there is little you personally can do to help him with his present medical condition.

Eating and sleeping and generally taking care of yourself so that you are able to visit him in hospital with a clear mind would seem a sensible course of action.

As for his relatives, they are who they are, no amount of anger on your part will change that. So just accept it however much you might disagree with their behaviour..

When I was a young a freind said there family car was packs and fuelled ready to go to the coast at the drop of a hat when they got the nod that a very sick elderly relative died.
I said why and he replied they had a lot of good stuff.

I imagined the many factions of his family similarly readied around the country.
And when it was announced that that relative had passed what would ensue would be a mash up of the cannonball run and supermarket sweep.

Appalling really, when he got back he invited me to come and view his booty. ( not that kind of booty)

he invited me to come and view his booty. ( not that kind of booty)

Good to see you’re keeping your sense of humour in all this!

Ernie speaks very wisely above. He’s getting the best medical care in the world, and by the sounds of it, he has the support of an exemplary friend. Make sure you look after yourself as well as him, though. Your story is truly life affirming in your dedication. Good luck.

Ernie has it spot on.

Again I understand your frustration with the hospital but unless your classed as having power of attorney or living will then they are breaking confidentiality laws and rules. It’s annoying for us too that we can’t share the info but it’s there for good reasons.

Is he ?

My friend ended up on a general ward in a far corner from the nurses station despite having a spine fracture being repeatedly sick an suffering seizures in resus.

Sounds like a dire situation chip, hang in there.

They did have power of attorney that he signed 15 years ago without knowing what it was when dying of a heart attack he was resuscitated from.

He did not find this out till last year and went mental demanded they returned it along with a will they put under his nose at the time.

He never got around to having it annulled through the correct channels. It would not suprise me if they have been to the house to hunt for it and have found it and presented it.

Along with his will, which he asked me to take him to change but I told him if you wish to change your will that is what you should do but I did not want to get involved in as I did not wish people to think I coersed (spelt wrong) him.

His stuff went missing from his house before and if they have been and searched out the above paper work I will involve the police as there are witness to him saying it was signed in a state not fit to do so and the knowledge of said documentation was withheld from him for years.

If they have found the above paper work and he survives he will hit the roof and he would never have anything to do with them again. And they would know this.