I can’t link to it from work but look up A J Clemente on YouTube. Brand new news anchor who thinks out loud, his first words on air got him the sack! NSFW warning.

I wrote off a company car on my first day, any other disasters to share?

I went out for a celebratory drink with course mates after we all qualified as PTS ambulance people way back when. I got very drunk, got robbed by a prostitute, managed to stamp on an upturned plug, cutting the sole of my foot badly and my hay fever kicked in.

First day, I was hung over, couldn’t weight bare on my left foot, hadn’t slept as I used my phone as an alarm clock and was too scared I’d sleep in, couldn’t stop sneezing and then the police rang my boss so I could give a statement. 10 years later and they still haven’t fired me!

I was given the relatively simple task of getting a courier to collect a DVD and rushing it down to London, a journey of about 200 miles.
I was great! I ordered the expensive courier, packaged everything up, handed it over sat back in smugness at a job well done.

You know, until it arrived in London at they found I’d couriered them an empty DVD case.

You know, until it arrived in London at they found I’d couriered them an empty DVD case.

I work in printing and it used to happen so often (less now we have fast internet) its normally left in the drive

I remember a guy who started at one place I was working at the week where we used to have an annual summer barby, which was basically just a massive piss up. He got absolutely leathered, to the point where he couldn’t make it home. One of the girls said he could kip on her sofa. He had to be carried there, as he was too pissed to stand up.

In the night he managed to ‘Grand Slam’ on her new sofa. He discovered this as he was awoken by her dad who was now staying with them as he had Alzheimers. He didn’t know where he was, and neither did her dad. The conversation went along the lines of:

“where am I?”
“I don’t know”
“Who are you?”
“I don’t know”

You shouldn’t laugh, but…. 😆

I started a job on September 11th 2001.

Nobody seemed to get much done that day.

We had a temp in once who on his second day had a chat with the finance director and told him within a year he’d be sitting in the FD’s chair as he was much better. He didn’t last very long.

I had an average, but quite dull 1st day to my previous job… to commiserate, we had a takeaway which gave me food poisoning.

2nd day I had to run out of a meeting (which had been called to introduce me), then spent 30 minutes puking, crapping and sweating so badly I had to take my shirt off… thought I was going to pass out.

Went back to the meeting and then nearly passed out again. The nurse was called, and she had my lying on the floor with my feet up on a chair, at which point, I did actually black out, then lay on the floor shivering and shaking…

Got ambulanced to hospital and kept under observation for the evening due to crazily low blood pressure and nasty after effects of gastro enteritis.

I like to think I made an impression they won’t forget in a hurry 🙂

Dave

Didn’t get in trouble for it, but my first day in the Army we had been told not to bring any money with us, however my Dad pressed £200 cash into my hand as we said goodbye. That evening I used the pay phone to call home. Wasn’t until about an hour later I realised I’d left my wallet in the phone box. Funnily enough it wasn’t there when I went back. Never did tell my Dad!