Awn of the Dead: humans thwart a zombie invasion by distracting them with fields full of caravan extensions.

A Beautiful Min: A talented mathematician is enlisted by the intelligence services to find novel optimisation techniques.

Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man’s Ches – the game goes on forever!
Snow White and the Seven warves – young girl sets up shipping fleet and import business
Ang em High – Mr Lee make his next film while off his face on coke
Far From the Madding Crow – man seeks solace on forum from his wife

The Gapes Of Wrath – angry gay pron

El – realising he’s not the same as Santa’s other helpers, Will Ferrel travels to Mexico to find his real father.

Silence of the labs.
One mans journey, training a group of unruly Labradors not to bark.

Grapes of Wath – Rotherham’s wine district

The Evil Dad; wouldn’t come to my scouts father and son camp 😥

We need to talk about Evin – A mother struggles to love her strange child, despite the increasingly vicious things he says about a neighbourhood in the north of Tehran.
a strada – A carefree girl is sold to a traveling entertainer, consequently enduring physical and emotional pain along the way in the back seat of his Fiat Strada.
The Big Seep – Private detective Philip Marlowe investigates something strange at the STD clinic

The Sining – Jack Nicholson in a murderous rampage caused by trigonometry

just popped into stw and my faith is restored. this thread is brilliant! this is why!

mom and Gerry – bewildering animation. gerry rafferty being the guy messing with your mom in an old style cartoon. yeeha, bewilder street

Lice in Wonderland – Alice needed medicated shampoo after her encounter with the Mad March Hair.

Rep Men – Jude Law in a Sales Exec shocka

Robin Hoo – Chinese Takeaway takes money from the poor, and keeps it.

Fatasia – A fat Micky Mouse can’t clean up the basement.

Dumo – Stupid elephant with mahooosive ears in cartoon caper, erm’ hang on a min…

Lady and the Ramp – Dog walks up and down a slight incline.

The Word in the Stone – Not a DaVinci sequel, Merlin stumbles upon the Rosetta Stone, in a wood, near a lake.

Apollo 1 – “Houston, Houston we do have a serious problem”.

Copse Bride – a small wood wants to get married, but is dead, so dead wood.

Weeny Todd – Caper about a small barber in That London.

Plane of the Apes – an aeroplane and some chimpanzees who take control

I know it’s 2 but I can’t resist!

The La of the White Worm – Ken Russell conjures up a tale of pagan snake god worship, sex and scousers in the White Peak.

When Harry Met Ally – Mr Carpenter’s pre Frank Bruno bromance.

The Ting – I and I is not sure which one of us is a shape shifting alien.

Silent Move – a tale of the day to day struggles of Pickfords removal men as they try to come to terms with their employers new policies.

P – Pixars dark tale of a boy scout’s worst bob a job week as an octogenarian with a very swollen prostate gets the young fella to help him to the bathroom.

Mar Attacks – Andrew and Johnnie vie for world domination.

The Bird – Hitchcock thriller in which Carey Grant just can’t stop giving everyone the finger and brings a mild sense of distaste to a small US seaside town.

The god the bad and the ugly. Robbie fowler returns to English football signing for Manchester united, a story of how low an individuals life can go, can he escape the clutches of his evil alcoholic master, old Bacon face and turn his life back round or does he end up chasing pensioner prostitutes. Cert 18 , 90 mins + fergie time!!!!

American pi – A miscalculaion causes designers to spec comedy sized wheels on mountain bikes leading to hilarious results.

Cum : man travels the world five knuckle shuffling at any opportunity.
P : lady travels the world searching for golden showers.

My Let Foot – how poverty drove me to rent out one of my feet and the ensuing struggles to regain control.

“Far From the Madding Crow – man seeks solace on forum from his wife” – many a true word spoken in jest…… 😕

Diving miss daisy. Two overpaid footballers who can’t stay on their feet go head to head to see who can become the new miss daisy. Starring ashley young and didier drogba. P G 90 mins , warning , no one was hurt in the making of this film as if u look closely there is no contact!!!

Alien – the heartrending story about the quest of a lonely, acid-blooded, carnivorous alien stuck alone on a planet to find the rest of his race.

Fiddle on the Roof – Kevin McCloud goes bad, leading a team of builders who mercilessly rip off unsuspecting clients with dodgy repairs to gutters, nicking the lead while they’re at it… will the Rogue Traders team catch him before the roof really does fall in?

Olive (18 – rom-com) – our leading lady always ‘asks for more’ – will she ever find a bloke who does not doze off as soon as he’s climaxed?

The Fat and The Furious – Supermodels go mad when they find their catwalk days are numbered as more ‘normal’ sized people get to perambulate up and down, pouting as they go…

Diving Miss Daisy – bored of being driven around at 3 miles an hour our geriatric heroine takes up free diving… (note – if hiring this film, please take care to not confuse it with the lesbian blue movie of the same name)

edited to add – evidently I was typing as smithie up there posted his version of Diving Miss Daisy!

End it like Beckham – a moving docudrama following the last days of the former England captain, who drowned after forgetting to stop at the finish line on a charity Bog Snorkelling event in Lutterworth, England.

all:E – The harrowing tale of a delinquent cleaning robot and its fruitless quest to get better grades at the local android cleaning school.

Batma Begins – A story in which the dyslexic chiropteran mother of Bruce Wayne tries to provide for her son by playing a tin whistle and waving a cup at strangers at Bank tube station.

onan the barbarian- man gives up his warring ways to engage in self love

Onan the destroyer – man gets carried away with self love and breaks his sword

Big Rouble in Little China – Exchange rate shenanigans all round.

Eat – Bank robbers in LA have overeating problems resulting
in street gun battles over who should run the iDave diet.

Sorry.

Rue Grit.. One mans remorse at turning his front garden into off street parking using a lorry load of grit and the resulting cat pop frenzy.

War of the OSes – Documentary about Linux vs. Mac vs. Windows

How To Lose Guy In Ten Days – On her honeymoon, Madonna realises she made a terrible mistake

Rat Ace – Follow up to Ratatouille. The lovable rodent signs up for the French airforce and singlehandedly defeats the Luftwaffe

STI Crazy – Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor REALLY love their Shimano road groupsets

Pies Like Us – Disturbing animated film about anthropomorphic pies who want to be eaten

Pulp Iction – story of paper making in South Africa
Alice in Onderland – Alice goes to her local motorbike dealer and tris some high powered bikes
Kill Ill- One mans quest to cut NHS waiting lists
Snakes on a Plan – An architect and his struggle to bring Bauhaus to the Outback
Cool Runings – Divination in the far North (Sunderland)

Don’t look back in Ange – Ms Rippon encouraged not to return to BBC News
Cat on a hot tin roo – Australian feline gets 3rd degree burns after riding burning novelty children’s fairground ride.
iLander – Apples new troop deployment craft, being white may be a military FUBAR!!
Dee Impact – the long lasting effects of Gregory’s Girl on men over 45

HAT – Renegade milliner De Niro finally meets fashion guru Pacino in a cafe for a chat.

Into The Wil – an erotic remake of the tragic tale of a man who gos off into the wild and spends some “alone time” in an old bus

Nil by Moth – Ray Winston stars in Gary oldman’s true story of growing up in a time in which london was starved by domestically violent ugly butterflies

28 Days Late – its hard waking up to find london empty apart from some zombies, its harder when your girlfriend is pregnant and refuses to run in case it harms the baby!

The Last Kin of Scotland – Forest Whitakker stars in this heartwaming family friendly tale of true brotherhood and the challenges of being black in Scotland

The Oat that Rocked – an all british cast tell the tragic saga of a lonely porridge oat that tried to set up a band, failed, then was eaten by the drummer.

The Dark Night: Bruce Wayne vows revenge after discovering the Joker has nicked his torch. One of the shorter Batman adventures.

Plane of the Apes: sequel to Snakes on a Plane
Planet of the Aps: a man awakes on a planet ruled by smartphones
2 Fat 2 Furious: story of the reprisals that follow when MacDonalds staff mess up an order.

I’m sure that The Count of Montecristo has been mentioned…………………..?

Snakes on a Plan – the story of how a new reptile house was built against all odds.

Appy Gilmore – cheeky East End golfer triumphs over the establishment.

The Fir – Tom Cruise turns lumberjack.

Rue Grit – car gets chipped paintwork after road resurfacing.

Fight Cub – it’s a dog eat dog world out there in the woods.

This is a brilliant game…………..

Pont Break – a bridge collapses ‘en France’.

The Magnificent Even – seven was never going to satisfy people who just love symmetry.

Leo – a story of how superstition was one assassin’s salvation.

It’s a Wonderful Lie – the true story of the downfall of the Murdoch Empire.

Three men and a Bab – late night punch up over last doner in the shop.

Rainspotting – an everyday tale of British weathermen.

The Passion of the Chris – Chris Tarrant’s biopic.

Chariots of Fir – the boys decide that commercial logging is more viable career than athletics.

Forrest Gum – he’s back, but this time he’s a pensioner.

Wall – the heartwarming story of a small robot chasing his one true love across the universe only to reach a high brick wall, thus stopping him in his tracks.

Mon – the first of seven short films about a guy in a dead end job suffering a strange sense of deja vu.

OfficeSpac – adventures of a disabled guy in middle management.

(ahem, sorry)

Ar Horse – swashbuckling equine piracy adventure on the high seas.