Oh, and,

Whether you’re in an office at night, on a sunny beach, or on an alien planet whilst on fire, the ambient lighting is always orange & teal. MAKE IT STOP!!

I went to see the new Bourne film the other day. What stuck me was the sounds coming from speeding vehicles all seemed to be created by 1970’s V8s. Fair enough for the scenes in Las Vegas, a bit odd in an Audi Q7 in Berlin and just plain bizarre in the Merc Sprinter when they get to London. Bwarrp!

The Transporter TV series was bad for this (and bad in general), big rumbling V8 noises coming from the car they used, no attempt made to hide the 3.0 TDi badge on the back.

Mi2
If you are going to do slo-mo of the bikes jumping over things,you must know that people are going to spot the tyre swaps.Unless there was a new MX sports bikes range from Triumph (Daytona and a Speed Triple)

That was a truly horrific film for errors, and a horrific film generally.

Car exhausts which are dribbling water because they have just been started even though in the film/program they have been driving for miles.

An extension to the empty coffee cup problem also – actors making a slurping sound as if they are drinking something even though there is nothing in the cup.

I also agree with the earlier observation about old looking buildings that would have been newish/contemporary when the action is set.

Person falls into an unlit cave/trapped in warehouse etc.

But, there’s some ambient light in there – it’s not pitch black.

Of course, it would be pretty rubbish if they were in there & you could just hear crashing & banging noises during that scene of the film, but still…..

The CCTV enhance thing really cheeses me off – you’ve got 16-pixels to enhance a face, but have turned it into a hi-res mug shot!! Bravo…

And the zoom lens spy shots at night, hand held & pin sharp! Wish the stabiliser on my Nikon VR lens was that good!

All thunder storms are directly overhead, i.e the thunder strikes at exactly the same time as the lightning.

Stupid aliens. Who manage to navigate interstellar space, yet can be hacked by one earthling with a Compaq.

Or my favourite: Battleship, where the aliens manage to travel all the way from their home planet but crash their only communications vehicle into a satellite, so have to borrow Earth’s communications system. (Which they can, however, hack into and use perfectly).

The CCTV enhance thing really cheeses me off – you’ve got 16-pixels to enhance a face, but have turned it into a hi-res mug shot!! Bravo…

It makes me giggle when thinking back to when Bladerunner came out and we were incredulous at the whole picture enhancing scene, it seemed so far fetch, even though not long later we’d all be able to pretty much do at home on our PC. But didn’t bat an eye at the whole flying car thing and the sentient sexy androids. Now it all seems quaint because he has to use a call box.

bencooper

Or my favourite: Battleship,

There’s your problem……

Tyre squeal sounds when a car is off-road.

James Bond could even get his tyres to squeal on sandy beaches 😯

Caves and mines always have nice smooth floors whereas in reality they are strewn with rocks and boulders

Middle-aged guys with office jobs who can take on multiple trained fighters in hand-to-hand combat.

Literally none of the physics in Spongebob Squarepants.

James Bond could even get his tyres to squeal on sandy beaches

Needs to tighten his fan belt

Or my favourite: Battleship,

There’s your problem……

It’s so bad it’s brilliant. Especially the way they managed to shoehorn in a scene where there’s a grid of squares on a radar screen…

Car chases. Good guy stuck next to bad guy. Good guy then changes gear and immediately pulls away. The more you change gear, the faster the car goes.

The more you change gear, the faster the car goes.

Thats basically the plot for Fast and Furious isn’t it?

Spoiler for lert

Anything to do with IT

No one ever Googles anything, they all have these other search engines and browsers. The browsers are faster than the speed of light and the search engines always get a result right at the top of page one.

bencooper

Or my favourite: Battleship,

It’s so bad it’s brilliant. Especially the way they managed to shoehorn in a scene where there’s a grid of squares on a radar screen… [/quote]

Yeah it’s pretty special alright. I tried to watch it again when it was on tv in the hope of recapturing some of that awful goodness but alas the magic was gone. And only shit remained.

No one ever Googles anything

Reason for that – production companies want tech companies to pay for exposure. No money, no exposure. Hence fake search engines and no desktops etc on show.

No or minimal farting. Compared to my experience of life anyway…

Reason for that – production companies want tech companies to pay for exposure. No money, no exposure. Hence fake search engines and no desktops etc on show.

the other reason is if you’re watching film you need something to watch – an action so things like ‘searching’ ‘sending’ etc need an action to film. The old microsoft paper plane thing at least represented something being sent but real computer interfaces aren’t skeuomorphic enough (right guys!)

So what directors need is something less like Google and more like Bounty Bear 😆

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKhzsx2gVgM[/video]

No or minimal farting. Compared to my experience of life anyway…

I think Terrance and Phillip restore the balance. I won’t post that link though 🙂

Interior of cars at night always well lit
And a night time country scene = vixen bark, no matter the time of year.

my favourite arni film, commando, is ruined by the lack of attention to detail given to the post car chase scene, whereby the yellow porsche miraculously fixes itself after its been crashed.

my favourite arni film, commando, is ruined by the lack of attention to detail given to the post car chase scene, whereby the yellow porsche miraculously fixes itself after its been crashed.

See also the yellow Mercedes in Taken 2 which miraculously manages to survive multiple crashes, sideswipes, being grazed along a wall at high speed and crashed into the American Embassy (while being shot at) with barely a scratch on it.

If we’re doing weird sound effects…

the reason the “ribbet” noise has become the default noise for frogs all over the western world is that when talkies hit the world in the twenties and they did outside shots, there’s a particularly loud frog common to California that makes that noise and they lacked the technology to remove it…There are few frogs that actually make that specific call, and yet in nearly every woodland scene at night, in every film ever, you can hear the Northern Pacific Tree Frog…

Peter falk who played Columbo had a glass eye so does that mean Columbo also had a glass eye or did Peter’s glass eye play the part of a real eye?……..

eye eye Cap’n!

my favourite arni film, commando, is ruined by the lack of attention to detail given to the post car chase scene, whereby the yellow porsche miraculously fixes itself after its been crashed.

I know what you mean, it was such a faultless film other than that one glaring mistake!

wysiwyg – Member

Interior of cars at night always well lit

But never any headrests.

Cars involved in crashes but the airbags never go off

Computer text doing the teletype slow green typing thing. Even my old Apple II could put text on the screen faster than that.

Surveillance on the bad guys using the special telephoto/magnifying wing mirrors fitted to american cars….

If you’ve noticed 555 being the universal area code in US dramas why haven’t you spotted 01632 in British film and TV?

skeuomorphic

Thanks Maccruiskeen, as you say impossible to Google and moreso to remember. I look forward to having this conversation next year!
Homer Simpson has a klondike 555 number.

The endless wormholes made Abronhill High in Gregory’s Girl look like an extended Aperture Science test chamber. Or so my missus told me. On another note she was (very briefly) in a Taggert scene (Death Benefits) which also involved heavy wormhole reliance between the Kelvinhall Art Gallery and Scottish Ballet a mile or so away.

Ricochets. All the ricochets. You’re more likely to hear to noise of the bugger zwooping by you than anything else. And lets not even get into the things people think can stop a bullet (Top Gear illustrated this well when they shot JC’s Barchetta door filled with sand in the Iraq special).

Also, RPG’s never have a burnout/destruct distance. And can be fired competently by literally anyone.

You’re all just cynics. I know for a fact that all bombs have a digital countdown clock, all submarines and evil dictators’ lairs have big red self destruct buttons, I know that when a hassled agent says it’ll be about an hour before the battery runs out what they mean is 60.00 minutes.
But what I don’t understand is exactly what these would-be world-dominators want. With all their powers Sauron, Voldemort, Dr No and all that gang just want to turn the place into a massive dark cold grimy shithole.

The way that any lab technician can rustle up a full DNA profile of the killer or victims within five minutes armed only with a pipette and desktop centrifuge. Wish I could do that. 🙄

People banging off rounds from a Magnum like it was a pop-gun. Those pistols are kin horrible, kick like two mules right over your head and hit your ears with an almighty wallop.

Film actors seem to have evolved away from using the lavatory.

People who get shot don’t spend their last moments wailing for their mums or shouting religious references, as I would imagine they might in real life/death.

I’ve never managed to make my tyres squeal like that in a multi-storey car park.

Why don’t all the fat people in America get shown in the films?

How can those people in Friends afford such accommodation with no visible means of support?

I’ve never seen such a big kitchen, what about the 21ft rule?

Ps part of which is why I don’t go to the cinema and I don’t own a telly.

I’ve never managed to make my tyres squeal like that in a multi-storey car park

You really are not trying hard enough 😆 (either that or your fan belt doesn’t squeal)