People doing that Jasper Carrott ‘dickhead’ hand gesture and all the numerous variants thereof

Big fat women and their small skinny husbands at the beach.

Not been to Skegness recently?

Snorkel hood parkas.

Got a new one last winter.

Proper, old-school, late-stage alcoholic Glasgow tramps, wearing 20 layers of fossilised clothing and a beard to make hipsters weep with envy.

Do you still get them in London, I wonder?

On the theme of solvent abuse nostalgia, I used to work in a branch of Homebase as a kid. We had to keep the export-strength Evo-Stik under lock and key. Of all the poor substance-ravaged souls I’ve seen in my life, nothing compares to the ruin inflicted on a person’s appearance by heavy solvent abuse.

Wee men with bandy legs.

You have not met my father in law then…..

Common sense

Sunshine

Pubic hair and nipples that pointed downwards.

Those disappeared with the Hedge Pron.

Pubic hair and nipples that pointed downwards.

Those disappeared with the Hedge Pron.

No more bush in the bush?

WAP

Robinson’s jam Golliwog figures

Pron mags being swapped between mates (letting that ‘special’ one go, would almost bring a tear to your eye)

Using 2p’s in a pay phone box

Music cassette tapes

People driving with any kind of skill or courtesy on the public road

Respect

Girls with huge norks/nipples, no bra and a tight T-shirt down the shops (must be years since I’ve seen that)

Mullets.