A list of simple stuff that is bloody impossible if you haven’t been trained.
Please feel free to contribute.

1) How to get a hair bobble on a baby girl.
2) How to hang a row of pictures (with cords on the back) so that they are all at the same height.

How to stick two little rizzla together to make one big one with sticky the whole way along the top.

[Edit] Actually I did learn that at school [Edit]

budgeting
car/bike maintenance instead of how to build a birdbox
basic plumbing/electrical/household DIY

respect

[Edit] I don’t want to get banned [Edit]

But if they can’t teach it properly in schools then women should come with an instruction manual… or a map… or something…

Every Wednesday the kids here in Sospel have the afternoon off and the teachers take about 20 kids doing this.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZ0St-mNVdI&feature=player_embedded[/video]

How to deal with tax/base rate/vat etc..

Good nutrition and a healthy diet.

Basic household maintenence like fuse boxes,

road safety
first aid

trigonometry

Haha I feel you’re pain about the bobble, I’ve got two little girls (one hasn’t got any hair yet but I imagine it’s coming….) and can I **** get her hair to look in the least bit acceptable! The Mrs makes it look impossibly easy 🙁

Mine,

1) The washing machine! WTF, why all the options, surely they should just have an option for “man wash”!

2) Perhaps not in school but when you’re expecting a baby girl they should warn you that you’ll have to wipe poo out of girly bits! For some unknown reason it never crossed my mind and the first nappy change came as quite a shock to the system!

That people are programmed to say ‘no’, so do what you want to do and ask forgiveness rather than permission.

That the worst that could happen seldom does.

That there is never a ‘right time’ for the big stuff. If you want to do something do it now.

And that politicians lie

Oh yeah,

3) The only difference between politicians and priests is that priests have better lies.

From Billy Connolly 🙂

“No-one tells you at school, they teach you f**king algebra, of no use to any living being. “Connolly, one A plus one B?” “What? Sorry?” “One A plus one B?” “You’re taking the piss…” “I’ll ask you again, Connolly. One A plus one B?” “I dont know. Numbers only, I don’t know how you add letters. I don’t remember the B-times table. ****. One B’s B, two Bs is a couple of Bs. Three Bs is a couple of Bs and the one we spoke about in the first place. What’s that all about?” I mean, I would love to meet somebody, who found a use for the f**king algebra, when they left. It’s unreal, isn’t it? Now they threw me out at fifteen. The headmaster… on the day I was fifteen the headmaster appeared on the veranda with a loudhailer. “Now hear this. Everyone who has reached the age of fifteen, stand over there. Except for those, who don’t know what one A plus one B is. They can **** off!” They don’t tell you how to chat up women, or anything like that. How to make money, there should be a class: “How to make serious dough.” And how to chat up women: “How to get laid before you die.” You know, that whole courtship thing.”

Lefty loosy righty tighty, would save loads of people a whole load of trouble.

joe is that left based on the top or the bottom?

Taxes

I was tought how to cook a bit, wire a plug and iron a shirt and how to ride a bike safely (Cycling proficiency anyone?)

I think Priests have bigger lies and are statistically speaking, more likely to sexually abuse boys.

Touchtyping – I think it rates as one of the most useful things I’ve ever learnt.

For Yeti

[did write something, didn’t want to be banned either ]

Same movement as beckoning someone over with your fingers, ok?

Can they not teach games and teach “don’t get drunk on a Monday” instead.

Cheers emsz :lol:. Luckily I’ve learnt that by 25!

What I’d really like to know is – EDITED BY THE MODERATORS

To tell the differance between trees and seeds.
To understand what animals are around you.
How to look after a garden.

2nd how to iron a shirt. I still cant get it right!

To think.
Not just do.

Soma –

In this order…

Collar
Shoulders
Cuff and sleeve of one arm
Cuff and sleeve of other
Right front
Rotate and iron the body til you get to the left front.

Do buttons up whilst running fot the bus…

(Cycling proficiency anyone?)

I found my badge the other day 🙂

I second touch-typing, handiest skill I’ve ever taught myself by far. Spent nearly two decades in education and (bar Reading, Riting and Rmaths) I learned nothing so useful as touch-typing.

Presumably they teach it now? Surely they must, given that computers are omnipresent nowadays? Not teaching it would be like teaching the alphabet, but not how to hold a pen.

joemarshall – Member

Lefty loosy righty tighty, would save loads of people a whole load of trouble.

Unless fitting pedals… 😉

The Southern Yeti – Member
Cheers emsz :lol:. Luckily I’ve learnt that by 25!

What I’d really like to know is – EDITED BY THE MODERATORS

easy mate…. the trick is getting in right up to the elbow, trust me you’ll know when you get hold of it… hold firmly and get them to hold their breath as you twist clockwise.

HTH

Cheers Phil, I’d previously been told to apply pressure to the lower abdomen with my other hand at the same time.. is that correct?

with the other hand… i’d recommend either using it to sip martini or hold the gag in place. all depends on how willing your participant is

why?

Judging by this topic some people need to be taught that not all people are the same and what works for some doesn’t work for everyone. There is no universal magic trick 😉

ebygomm – Wll that’s not what the marketing of a certain product on a certain website would have me believe…

Life Lesson #46 – NEVER let your drunk/high mates cut your hair

How being self employed is better than being someone’s servant (ie on a wage)

How to construct sentences.

do everything in moderation….

especially moderation

They need to teach you that you wont earn a living by being on Xfactor, you wont become a celeb and being fat is not acceptable.

Duntstick, lesson number one for those kids should be not to faceplant. I mean, look at their teeth!