I used to think “Sugar Free” meant that the product was cheaper because they weren’t charging you for the sugar parts of the ingredients.

A (insert political brand) Party, was a get together with ballons and cake.

A sweet (in the ‘desert/pudding’context) was going to be a selection of confectionary (I even remeber where I was when I discovered that)

Up until not very long ago, I thought that the ‘Buffalo’ in ‘Buffalo wings’ referred to the meat, not the sauce.

pebble dash not pebbled ash

The depth of my parents love for their kids now that I have my own.

The unimaginable pain they must have felt at the death of my brother.

Pace shooterman’s moving revelation above…

‘Rah, rah, Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen’

and NOT

‘Rah, Rah, Rasputin, lather up the Russian Queen’

No wonder my parents like it when my brother and I sang it.

Wondered by Meatloaf wanted all my plasticine

In o level history I wondered how a ship called Bismark could sign treaties or get upset about the assassination of Arch Duke Ferdinand!

Hand bag not ham bag

When I was about 10 in school we were told to write an essay “in your own words” about a bible story. I did using lots of slang ie “Methusala blew up like an Atom Bomb” had to read it aloud in class and got a detention 😳

Still think that was unfair 😆

We got a great wee chat from our biology teacher once about how important it was to come and talk to him after class if there was anything we didn’t quite grasp in the lesson – his case in point…

Having covered the thorny issue of ‘reproduction’ he asked a class if they had any questions – boy puts hand up

“When people have sex how do they know?”

So the teacher starts to recap on conception and the first signs of pregnancy and….

“No – I mean how do they know they’ve had sex? If they’re asleep?”

Kid had taken the whole “Going to bed with..” and “Sleeping with…” to mean both participants were fast asleep during the whole act.

Silly boy. He would of course later learn that only one of the participants is likely to be unconscious.

All ‘good books’ aren’t available solely from cellars…….

I grew up in a very Religious area in Florida, we used to have marches and bands come through the village estate where we lived, nearly all participants wore White Pointy Hats and carried a Cross, it passed me by many a time and it took me an RE Class during 9th grade to be informed what it was all about, my Parents kept schtum.. 😯

I grew up in a very Religious area in Florida, we used to have marches and bands come through the village estate where we lived, nearly all participants wore White Pointy Hats and carried a Cross, it passed me by many a time and it took me an RE Class during 9th grade to be informed what it was all about, my Parents kept schtum..

There was a brilliant story by Stephany Foo on ‘Snap Judgement’ about her family moving to a rural town in the US. They started getting letters from the local Klu Klux Klan which as a kid she had to read as she was the only one in the family who could read english. At school they had a project to start writing to a pen friend… so she started writing back to this guy from the KKK – coolest pen friend ever – a Grand Wizard! So he’d be sending letters full of threats and she was writing back with ‘so, which is your favourite Madonna song?’. Superb!

I used to think that only one copy of a film existed and that it was sent around cinemas in turn.

What all the fuss was about with the boys…. 😉

On the sexual education thing, aged 10 ish (not 20…), I knew what intercourse was (mostly), and that to have a baby you had to have intercourse.

However, my chronological undersanding was off. As I saw it, the heavily expactant couple arrived in hospital to be told by the Dr. “Yes, please have sex now so you can have the baby” in the hospital ward. Gowns on and everything. 😆

Funny how that has sort of proved to be an effective way of starting labour for our three… 😳

Kev 😀

I used to think that hospitals were all full of people vomiting constantly on account of them “being sick”.

bikebuoy, how is it that you studied RE in a Florida high school? As far as I was aware, unless you went to a private school, no school in North America included any religious content on the curriculum.

I used to think that only one copy of a film existed and that it was sent around cinemas in turn.

Actually, in the days of actual film (not that long ago), the reels were very expensive so there weren’t that many of them, and smaller cinemas couldn’t afford to get them straight away so they had to wait til the big ones had finished with them.

I was a mightily pissed off child the first time I was offered a mince pie at Chirstmas, only to bite into the thing and find that some funny fecker had put fruit in it and not meat.

My Dad was an IT Consultant in the 80s/90s, visiting companies around UK setting up systems etc.
However when he used to tell me he was going away to see a customer, I had visions of him driving all day to a little shop by the motorway, and selling wool, of all things.

My 3 year old is currently under the apprehension, fed to her by her mother, that the burglar alarm sensors in the house (the ones in the corner of the room that light up when someone moves) are actually how Father Christmas watches her to decide if she is naughty or nice. 😆

I’m not keen on this.

To me stories about a fictional figure that watches her all the time is one step away from making her a chirstian.

ExPat’s init… ex IBM. 😉 English skooling 😆 Thhough when we came back I still had to do an extra year to “come upto speed” 🙄

I could never quite grasp the concept of cheques when I was young.

I’d go food shopping with my mum and she’d always pay by cheque. I never understood why she didn’t just spend as much as she wanted, as she would just write the required amount down on the cheque and it was accepted.
I didn’t realise that there was a further process whereby that money then left her account!

I had something similar with getting change.

Whenever we went to the shop, mum and the shopkeeper seemed to just exchange different coins/notes. Couldn’t work out why she’d say there was no money left – the nice man in the shop had just given her a nice pile of money.

on the subject of money, I didn’t understand (and still don’t fully) why when the government were short of money, they couldn’t just print some more off down at the Mint

“Hold me closer tiny dancer” and not “Hold me close I’m tryin’ to dance here!”

As a child, I always wondered what “Pri Minister” meant when my folks were watching the news.

Aged 18, my BIL asked me about money: “When you take money out of your account, how do you get more in there?”. Naturally, I replied “the Bank of Mum and Dad.” Trouble is, he’s 28 tomorrow and still believes that….

Can I just apologise for my spelling of confectionery earlier 😳

I used to think hobgoblins powered cars using pulleys and pedals.

Nowadays I think Dinosaurs do the same job..

I never realised people who got shot/stabbed in films were just pretending. I thought it was real people who wanted to die.

I also thought that the newsreaders on the telly could see me in the living room 🙂

I used to think that the bank had a drawer for each customer with their money in. Like your drawer at primary school, with your name on and all that.

I think i was 13 when i was told/found out the BBC didn’t have adverts like ITV did.

I used to think the whole world was black and white on account of old films in black and white, why wouldn’t they film it in colour? I’d decided it must have been some mad scientist that released colour into the world.

When being educated on the birds n bees I thought you stick your tinkle in a ladies twinkle and then just kinda leave it there for bit, never realised the going in and out bit, they don’t mention that in sex ed. Maybe whilst you were waiting you’d have a cup of tea or watch tele or something.

The number of girls I was to shy to ask out at the time, only to find out many, many, years latter, they would have said YES if I had only asked at the time!

I used to think the government was there make sure everyone was looked after.

That gasometers were full of hot ribena.

My brother had trouble understanding why Elvis would sing a sad song about being born in a gateau.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Ox1Tore9nw&feature=youtube_gdata_player [/video]

“The number of girls I was to shy to ask out at the time, only to find out many, many, years latter, they would have said YES if I had only asked at the time!”

Two asked me out. I said no as I thought they were out of my league.

Idiot

The class structure. Well, until I was around seventeen. Obviously ‘posh folk’ drove around in Rollers, but in the main, I didn’t have a clue. Might have been due to the fact I was heavily into alcohol at 12, so I guess an awful lot passed me by.

Probably for the best…

🙂