Just read all these comments… Now feel the need to wrap myself in bubble wrap and not leave the house! (typical Sat night for some)

(stood on a nest). He had a large cut on his head from a bonce/scaffolding incident

Think I’m seeing a pattern emerge. Would you describe your friend and yourself as accident magnets ?

When my shoulder pops out of its socket, as it does from time to time. And more specifically the few days after, and even more specifically when I try and raise my elbow up or away from my body. OOOOUUUUCCCCHHHHH!!!!!!

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When you have the tension in your SPDs set too low, clip out by mistake on a steep climb and the pedal whips round and whacks you in the knee.

Sneezing with cracked ribs

Climbing a tree in the garden when I was 12 or 13, the same tree to which I’d nailed a ladder some time previously….
Cue rusty nail straight across the middle of my left hand, shortly followed by my 1st (of many) visits to A&E and 17 stitches. Still got the scar now 35+ years on.

Was in passenger seat of a car, the driver parked on a street that was heavily cambered. I swung open the door to get out and because of the camber I needed to haul myself out with my fingers wrapped round the opening onto the roof. Unfortunately the camber was so much that the door swung back trapping my fingers and latching. Luckily nothing was broken but I couldn’t move them for 30 minutes or so.

I got walloped by a kid once with a golf club on a crazy golf course.
Thumbnail went all black and swollen and hurt like b@ggery after a couple of days.
Went to A and E where the doctor straightened out a paperclip, heated it up with a cigarette lighter until it was red hot and then jabbed it the nail.
‘KIN OWWWWW !!!!!
The blood was everywhere

Made myself a Bloody Mary yesterday and must have got a tiny drop of Tabasco on my sleeve, sat down to enjoy and wiped my sleeve across my face – Tabasco ended up in my left eye… 😳

Honestly thought my eye was about to dissolve, took twenty minutes for the pain to dull once I’d watered it for five minutes. For the rest of the day it felt like I had a shard of glass stuck under my eye lid. Will be much more careful shaking the bottle in future as that’s an experience I never want to go through again!!!

As a sprog I fell off a wall on too broken glass.Gran to the rescue picks out glass,then proceeds to stitch it up,with leather workers needle,remember that hurt a little,hardly a scar mind.

Chopping vegetables using that good old chefy hand on one end of knife, lever down with handle technique. Wifey comes in and asks a question and whilst thus distracted, I lever said chefs knife down across my thumb nail, slicing cleanly through nail down to the bone. Ouch!!

Discovering that the surgeon who is doing your vasectomy didn’t use enough local…. 😯

My lovely wife is partially disabled, and does not have full use of her left arm and leg. When Jnr was very small and asleep in the car, we parked up and she got out the passenger side and managed to actually CLOSE the door, trapping a finger from her right hand in the door.

Due to her disability she couldn’t open the door with her left hand and managed to calmly ask me to come round to her side and open the door for her. Took about 6 months for the fingernail to regrow 😳

She’s not lucky with her hands actually. In 10 days time she will be having the wire that is holding her broken fingertip together removed. Which I imagine will smart a bit…..

jellyfish sting swimming in the med this summer – still got the faint imprint of a jellyfish on my forearm, holding my arm with a cloth drenched in vinegar for two hours seemed to help

Whilst stripping our Victorian fireplace in bare feet (I know) I scrunched my toes and yelped. Couldn’t find anything in there, but every few days my big toe throbbed at the bottom. A couple of months later I felt something nasty in the sore area and pulled out a metal wire from a hardcore wire brush, at least 4 cm long… God knows where it was hiding. 😯

Jessies the lot of you.
.
My (then 6 year old) spent 3 days with broken, overlapping, displaced at 20degree, Ulna and Radius about 2cm below elbow.
.
‘kin hard.
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*edit* looking again, this is day 2, he had temp support on. Still broken and overlapping in this pic.

IMGP3011 by matt_outandabout, on Flickr
A week later:

Lismore by matt_outandabout, on Flickr

Instinctively tried to catch an iron as it toppled off the ironing board. Caught it. When the pain kicked in I dropped it on my foot. Leapt backwards into a wall cracking my head.

But even worse than all that was the first time I sat on the loo after an open hemorrhoidectomy. Almost passed out with that.

What no mention for the Prince Albert thread. Just reading that made me curl up in pain.

Reading the above I count myself lucky although a kick in the balls is never exactly comfortable and having been with my wife through two labours I know who is tougher.

Took my finger end off at work, had it re-attached but it didn’t take. Eventually the doctor said it will need to come off and booked me in for a minor operation to take the dead end off.
Went in and before he injected the local anaesthetic he got pair of tweezers to pull the edge of the very black skin back to swab underneath, he pulled it back slightly which still smarted somewhat and the nurse took the swab.
Bless his cotton socks if he didn’t then just grip harder and rip my finger end off…

having been with my wife through two labours I know who is tougher.

Now you mention it, this. Mrs_oab had two normally and one via the escape hatch. respect to my lass.

Most painful I’ve had has been when I was using a 2 man post rammer (one like this on my own)
item.mobileweb.ebay.co.uk/viewitem?itemId=251318630080

I misjudged the top of the post and caught it with the edge the rammer which meant the heavy end came down on top of my head and blew all my molars out of my cheeks!

Still not as bad as being half paralysed after a telegraph pole came down on my head breaking my neck!

AVOID the pain of stepping on upturned plugs by walking around with a four socket extension lead attached to each foot.

Thank you, wwaswas. Crying with laughter at that Viz top tip.

Zipping along on an evening road ride a few summers ago when something thwacked me full-on on the bridge of the nose. Skidded to a halt and fell to the ground pole-axed with pain. Genuinely thought someone had taken a pot-shot at me with an air rifle. Never known pain like it. Turns out it was a bee, apparently somehow flying ass-first.

Still had ten miles to wobble home, half blind through streaming eyes. Didn’t know the sting was still stuck in me till I looked in the mirror at home.

Over the next week my eye/nose area swelled till I looked like a Na’vi (although not blue).

When I was younger, running up some stairs, caught my foot really badly under a stair edge and dislocated my ankle, then tried to keep running on it. That stang a bit.

Not actually that sore, but it seems to upset people this one… I sliced 2 of my fingers up pretty badly with a kitchen knife (being an idiot), went up to the hospital to get stitched up. Friday night in A&E, the doc doing the ring block anaesthetic got distracted and lost his balance, and instead of doing the little injection, accidentally stuck the needle right through my finger and into the worktop, pinned me to the table. But it came out again with a bit of pliar action.

When I was about 9 years old, my cousins and I were playing paratrooper, jumping off the barn into a pile of hay. I landed on a board with a 4 inch rusty nail sticking up that was hidden by the hay, driving said nail through my foot and up through the top of my shoe—did smart a bit.

What no mention for the Prince Albert thread. Just reading that made me curl up in pain.

Reading the above I count myself lucky although a kick in the balls is never exactly comfortable and having been with my wife through two labours I know who is tougher.

i did, here

lucien – Member
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POSTED 15 HOURS AGO #

Still makes me wince thinking about it….

Age 12 or so, nearly took the end of my thumb clean off by means of a model plane propeller. Fortunately the bone stopped the prop. Nail came off. Never got stitches, just kind of stuck it back on with plasters – must have been lucky as it took and I still have both thumbs the same size.

Aged about twelve, in a woodland somewhere in Worcestershire. Chopping a small tree down with a small axe.

Small axe slipped from hand in to left foot, narrowly missing vital, foot-destroying pieces of said foot, but making quite the slice. “Oh look”, I thought, “I’m bleeding.” No pain at first, nothing beyond just thinking I was bleeding. Scars remain, foot still works. Lucky chap.

Um, how long have you got…

I had a tooth removed last week. It had died after years of repairs and then the end snapped off. That wasn’t too bad to deal with, there was no pain. A burly Aussie seemingly elbow deep in my mouth using a pair of pliers with the sort of force I normally reserve for undoing stiff wheel nuts was bad. Very bad. Still feels tender in that area even now. It will hopefully be a while before I need to go back…

Not one of the most painful things I’ve ever done but one that made me feel unusually squeamish:

Finger meets scalpel by will jenkins, on Flickr

Doesn’t look very impressive but imagine a 10A scalpel blade going in top left and tip coming out bottom right. I sized it up and it must have been up to the hilt!
I was sweeping bits of wire and insulation off my workbench and swept my hand into my scalpel, which was just lying open on the bench. It was probably in my finger for a split second. Didn’t realise it went all the way through until I saw my blood coming out of both sides of my finger!