The wife just phones up to tell me that a cat has puked on the lawn. Apparently it is my job to clear it up. She is stood next to it. I am 16 miles away.

It is also my job to empty the bin in HER bathroom*.

*Separate bathrooms is the secret to a long and happy marriage. Fact.

Ahh… You obviously don’t have a ‘blue’ and ‘pink’ jobs chart… updated, cross referenced and signed off in triplicate 😉

here, I think you may have dropped this?

“are”

edit: edit

I suspect that I’m supposed to be able to read Mrs Feet’s mind, however this have never been formally stated and seeing as I can’t read minds, I can’t be sure. This has got me into trouble on some occasions, I think!

Thanks for that Mr Nutt. It had fallen down a gap in my keyboard full of biscuit crumbs and paper clips.

On reflection though that Chart ^^ was seemed to have been drawn up when there wasa deficit of pink inkmarkers in the house.

More worringly are the “brown” jobs which seem to creep in from time to time… 😕

Brown jobs….Sniggers

I have to say that I am proud and happy with the way Mrs SR will do pretty much anything. I have been working looooong hours recently, including having to go away almost every weekend, and so haven’t been able to do much around the house.

We just had the loft converted, but the decorating still needed doing, and the wood floor laying. Not any more, though. Mrs SR did it all.

Bloody brilliant!

my jobs:

cleaning the car, doing the dishes, cooking, bike maintenance, emptying the bins, unclogging the sinks (of her hair), structural diy, simple electrical/plumbing work, getting her into bed when she falls asleep on the sofa, walking the dogs (we don’t have a dog), dispatching any half-dead animals the cats (we don’t have a cat) bring in/leave in the yard.

her jobs:

cleaning the inside of the car, interior design/soft furnishings, liaising with tradesmen, ensuring the car has MOT/insurance/tax, social secretary, wedding planner, preparing shopping lists, keeping an eye on my weight, it support, probably many others i don’t notice

it’s all in the contract.

Im banned from washing the clothes.
Tragically all of Mrs Stoner’s cashmere jumpers…now fit the kids….

Other than that, I think EVERYTHING ELSE is my job. But then she pays my wages at the moment 😀

MrsCat is doing a degree in a year and working so at the moment everything is my job. 🙁

Just hung and fitted a new garage side door my job to fit the door install locks etc… and now after the event, to fit a new bottom hardwood door sill 🙄

Miss llama’s job to paint it, I did my part she did not do hers now it’s my fault the door has now swollen and needs more timber shaving off due to her lack of painting 😯

It is also my fault I’ve not fitted the sill yet even though she was supposed to buy it last weekend (I’d already given her the sizes) and so not even been bought yet 🙄

Cannot live without them, cannot kill them LOL

Tidying, cooking, laundry, ironing ( everything really)

But then I do live here rent free, so can’t complain ( and have trained him to do some stuff, shush, don’t tell him though) 😀

Anything manual, anything involving tradesmen, anything involving the cars. Washing up whether I’ve made the meal or not (I’ve always struggled to work that one out – she says whoever cooks doesn’t do the dishes but in reality I always do the dishes), cleaning the bathroom, dealing with difficult issues, taking any of the animals to the vets (they look at her accusingly apparently), walking the dog when it’s not nice, walking the dog when it is nice, earning virtually all the money, dealing with all the financial stuff, cleaning the dogs arse…oh I can’t be bothered going on any longer.

Look, she works 4 hours a day sometimes. And then sometimes does the tea. It’s not too much for her to expect me to do all that after a ten hour day is it? Of course not.

Gotta laugh, sitting here with my hand bandaged, held up in the air, following Carpal Tunnel Release surgery yesterday! Having to get up every few minutes to chase one of our cats out of the house, who wants to present me with a dead rabbit. Every time she comes in there’s a bit less bunny 🙁 can’t do anything to stop her due to my hand!
One of those days when I wish Dave was working from home, cos this definitely qualifies as ‘One of his jobs’!!!!

A bunny and a cat!!!!

Theres all manner of rude comments screaming to be released via this keyboard!

Yep, earning all the money, doing all diy (never use trades excluding gas) so a lot of work, put up with nagging about getting a new house, cooking my own dinner and washing up, fairly endless list…. she out this morning in chester have coffee with a friend then off to lunch this afternoon at another friends…. god its a hard life for some…. 🙂

she is required to do traditional pink jobs. her only concession is the bins. she doesn’t do traditional pink jobs that are well overdue – e.g. cleaning the oven, casserole dishes with welded crusts, skid marks in the loo, etc.

I am required to do everything.

My tasks broadly fall into the outdoors category or anything that involves getting dirty or using power tools

mrs rocket takes care of the inside of the house and having certain rooms moved a bit to the left etc

Hers:
Gardening.
Washing up.
Vaccuming.
Reminding me what to do.
Watching shite on the TV.
Turning the heating up.
Closing the windows.
Walking round the supermarket at 0.5 mph.
The cat.
Avoiding brewing up.
Bills.
Bedding.
Sulking about being beaten at Scrabble.
Missing the first ten minutes of every film.

Mine.
Cooking.
Computers.
Cars/bikes.
Cleaning.
Picking her stuff up from the floor and putting it away.
Reminding her to brew up.
Brewing up.
Organising meals.
Taking the two day old washing out of the machine.
Opening windows.
Turning the heating down.
Polishing shoes.
Beating her at Scrabble.
Telling her what happened in the first ten minutes of every film.

Turning the heating up.[/I]

SHE’S CROSSED THE LINE!

Hers: Work, at the moment 10-12 hour days, plus 90 minute commute each way.

Mine: everything else, including making sure she’s out of bed in time to get to work, which isnt easy.

Still, as with stoner, she’s paying my wages. I’m not complaining.

Im banned from washing the clothes.
Tragically all of Mrs Stoner’s cashmere jumpers…now fit the kids….

Other than that, I think EVERYTHING ELSE is my job.

Clearly you need to try being incompetent at more things.

My jobs seems to be essentially being wrong – I seem to be excellent at this.

her jobs seems to be breaking cars and running the hot tap for no apparent reason

Not being able to speak the local lingo, i tend to rely on her dad with anything of importance. I’m quite redundant!

Nevertheless, she doesn’t trust my cleaning (i don’t have the attention to detail, apparently!). But she’s banned from any cooking as she can make rather eccentric dishes like deep-fried hallouimi-pasta salad with extra salt and olives and dripping with mango chutney and a handful of chillipeppers. Overall, i’m quite happy with the situation. Everyday tho, i do realise that we resemble both of our parents in some manner, it’s definately strange.

Her:
Washing bedding
Telling the cleaner what to do
Cooking occassional Sunday roast
Turning the heating up
3 hour supermarket shop that costs £250 a go
Listening to her complain about her job for an hour a night for years on end

Me:
Sorting all the bills
Taking care of computers / backups for the next time she’s thrown a cup of tea into the keyboard of the laptop and blown it up
Cleaning up after the dog after it’s puked up at 3 in the morning
Taking the dog out for a pee in the rain at 3 in the morning to stop it whining
Getting quotes / sorting tradesman
30 mins supermarket shop that costs £50
Always having cash on hand because she never goes to the bank or has forgotten her purse again
Monitoring the joint account on a daily basis and topping it up to avoid an overdraft fee because she’s used the joint account card again for dresses / contact lenses / cocktails with the girls
Anything that needs installing or maintaining
Building fences / heavy stuff in the garden
Car mot, servicing, insurance, keeping it clean, checking tyres etc.
Walking the dog when it’s raining
Re-sorting all the recycling because its been mixed together
Cleaning the kitchen bin out because she couldn’t be bothered to put a bag on before dumping a load of food waste on which has now started to rot
Putting the bins out
Cleaning up after she’s spilt wine / tea / coffee again and didn’t clean it up
Cleaning up after every single thing in the kitchen has been used to make the Sunday roast
Paying the vet bill for the dog’s latest ailment / Munchausen by proxy
Paying for anything needed for the house like new tv, carpets, shelves etc

Cat puke or Sh*t on the lawn…….Lawnmower, that’ll sort it 8)

Currently no ‘Her’ to share jobs with, but the last one would just get on with it. If it needed doing and all that 😀

Best one was when I was a few years younger and the then ‘Her’ was bit of a barbie doll-type to look at. Appeared in the kitchen saying ‘I think the brakes on the car need replacing’. Excellent, a man’s job I thought. Where’s my socket set? Err, no. She then produced a carrier bag with a set of worn pads inside and declared ‘Can you pick up a new set on your way back from John’s and I’ll fit them after Eastenders?’

God I miss that woman!!

When i was doing my apprenticeship, i picked up the brush to brush the floor,to be greeted by a barage of abuse from the labourer grade,who then reported me to the foreman, and the trades union chap, who told me by brushing the floor i was doing another person out of a job.

Another job was to mix the ciba geigy wood glue,horible stuff, needed constant stirring till disolved,and burnt the inside of your nose and throat, one weekend i was off and got a telling off on the monday for not making glue on the friday, for the weekend, despite 3 capable people being in work and able to do it, infact they trained to do it.

Her jobs: 50% of everything not defined as a “man’s job”

Mine: 50% of everything not defined as a “man’s job”; 100% of everything defined as a “man’s job”

However, I don’t actually do my 50% of the non-gender specific stuff. My justification generally being that the I acknowledge that the hoovering needed doing and the bikes needed cleaning, but that if I didn’t hoover I knew that she would whereas if I didn’t clean the bikes they would stay dirty, so I cleaned the bikes.

My wife got told off at work once, for referring to a task (moving a printer) as “Man’s Work”.

And anything to do with turds/puke is definitely Man’s Work in our house too.

Actually I ought to admit that @Flowerpower does the majority of project management in the house and has far greater expertise/knowledge of DIY than I do. Bit humbling at times…

I cook a lot though which suits me and her fine and is a fair trade methinks.

Womans work in out house includes doing the ironing, but topping up the iron with water is technical and therefore a mans job.

Lawnmower, that’ll sort it

Another of my jobs.

Ahh… You obviously don’t have a ‘blue’ and ‘pink’ jobs chart.

We have that. Apparently nearly all jobs are ‘blue’ jobs!

Apparently nearly all jobs are ‘blue’ jobs!

apart from, surprisingly, drawing up the blue/pink chart

Laughing at several of the above. We share most stuff in our house, but one firm ‘my’ job is puke – whether the kids or pets. In particular for pets, even hairballs cause sufficient retching that the most she can do is cover it with a square of toilet roll so she doesn’t have to look at it. I was away on a trip with work and she phoned me up to tell me the cat had chundered with a degree of expectation that I might come up with some plan by which i could cancel my travel to clean it up!! In the end she made one of the kids do it.

The other firm ‘his and hers’ derogation of responsibility is filling in the social calendar.

HER: may schedule any event at any time, in pencil or ink, or even in imaginary ink in her head to be added to the calendar at some point in the future.

HE: may not schedule any event ever. Unless it’s of extreme importance or significance, in which case pencil may be used.

HER: may delete, overwrite, or claim that we already had something planned for any event pencilled in by him. That’s where the imaginary ink clause is so very useful – so many times I’ve stupidly overwritten an event that wasn’t visible yet.

Love her really……..

What are these house jobs you all refer to? The fairy does the washing, and hoovering etc etc. ( 😉 for those who are unsure…)

Yippee – after taking the washing off the airer and putting it in the ironing basket, putting the washing out of the washer on the airer, filling the washer with dirty washing and setting it going I was allowed to cook tea, then wash the pots, repeat the laundry duty and make a cuppa. At which point I was given permission to do the rest of the ironing after I get back from a ride starting at 8pm – the decision is do I have a nice long ride and iron by moonlight or have a quick ride and get some sleep?

I see the bloody dandelions need mowing again!

We have “blue” and “pink” jobs.

Pink jobs = designating everything as a blue job.

Blue jobs = everything except designating jobs as blue or pink.

😐