Isn’t this a footpath?

Did you cycle to work today?
.
What happens when it rains [on my cycle commute]?
.
Why don’t you eat meat then?
.
You walk your dog IN THE DARK?!

(Usually in London )

“You’re from Cumbria ! Where’s that then, near Wales ?”

Why doesn’t that Lefty fall over when you ride it?

“and you do this for fun?”

“What do you teach then?”

“Children!!” usually gets blanks faces

Why are you so handsome?

The Yak is pretty lucky that way.

What about: “Why do you continually refer to yourself in the 3rd person? It’s stupid”. Much?

I get, in no real life order…

“You look like an old Zac Efron”
“Nice car, did you buy your shades to go with it or the other way around?”
“You look way younger than you actually are.”
“Defect XXXX needs fixing and whilst I’m on P3 SRS is due Friday and hows Phil coping?”
“That’ll be XXXX£’s please, would you like a bag?”
“Those jeans look a little too tight on you”
“Gybe”
“I love you Baby, tralla la laaa, I need you Baby, la leee la le laa”
“Why have you only got one gear? Isn’t it hard to peddle?”
“Ohh, new shoes!”

Substitute Patrick for Dan and you have the story of my life…

“….but I thought you were gay.”

It must be the gesticulations and frequent bursts of singing. I am the anti-alpha man but quite happy with this.

“Sign here.”

“Lie down on the ground” – usually with the benefit of a megaphone.

“Where did you ride today?”
“That’s light!”
“How much did that cost!?”
“You are mad.”

Usually in that order.

Where’s the other wheel?
Who stole the other half of your bike?

A vegan , what do you eat then ?
Or
why are you a vegan?

+1. Without fail, tell someone I’m veggie and with tedious regularity I get “but whhhyyyyy?!”

I had the “ah, but you wear leather shoes!” – “yes, but I don’t eat my shoes” conversation last week. I think I might get some cards printed.

“Vegan ? What do you eat ?” for me too.

Where’s the other wheel?

I’ve a mate who’s an off-road unicyclist. His stock response to “hey mate, you’ve lost a wheel” is “no, I’ve found one.”

Vegan ? What do you eat ?

People who ask annoying questions.

“You two make a really great couple” – and as if by clockwork, 2 drinks later they’re trying to chat up my girlfriend.

“You’re taller than you look”.

I do find that kind of odd. I’m pretty broad-shouldered, so I guess I look more “compact” than someone who’s a bean-pole. I’m 5’11”. People often seem surprised to learn this!

“Have you got a minute?”

The Yak is pretty lucky that way.

What about: “Why do you continually refer to yourself in the 3rd person? It’s stupid”. Much?

are you for real..!?

The Yak is the best thing that has happened here for a while..

since working down in london with lots of different nationalities.

I normally get :

“Pardon”
“what?”
“hmm”
“yes” (with a blank stare)

I also get –

“We are now approaching XXXX station”
“This is coach number 1 or 4”
“Please mind the gap at the edge of the platform”
“Please take all items with you”
“If you see anyone acting suspiciously please tell the guard or a member of the Police”
“The train arriving at platform XX is for the service to XXXXX”

But the most annoying one is..

“The XXXX service to XXXXX is delayed due to the fact we can’t run a train service. We apologise for the delay this will cause to your journey”

This I think ought to be accompanied by,
“We’re unable to run an effective train service despite the many many millions of pounds you the Tax Payer subsidise our franchise. We have 156 layers of management all of which have pensions schemes and BUPA and company cars, these have to be paid some how, so to aid our fiscal planning, we simply cut services and reduce train sizes to save of assets and blame someone else for our incompetence. We have a few staff, some are called train revenue protection officers, please don’t laugh at them, they will annoy the heck out of you if you take more than 0.00004 milli seconds to get your ticket out of your pocket. We are asking them to dress n casual dress these days to save on uniforms”