A few years back a friend of ours had their labrador completely ruin christmas. They had family round and had a huge spread prepared, turkey for 12 people, veg, stuffing, sausages the works. Everything was prepped, turkey in the oven, family off to church. You’re ahead of me.

They came back and the dog had got in the oven and eaten the whole turkey, every single morsel, every sausage, the stuffing, gravy, potatoes and was halfway through the veg when it lost consciousness.

They had to call out the vet on Christmas Day, thick end of a grand by the end of the stomach pumping and overnight treatment. They got back to find the dog had tipped the veg water onto the plugs, fused the house, no fuse wire to be found and no christmas dinner.

What other animal (apart from humans) is stupid enough to eat until it needs medical intervention not to die?

We had a border collie who made repeated failed attempts to dislodge a pan from the stove to he could find out whats inside. In doing so he turned all the knobs on to full and we got home to a house full of gas. Luckily in daylight – its truly terrifying to imagine what would have happened if we’d flicked a switch.

He also once ate a large, expensive tube of cadmium red oil paint, getting it all over his face and feet – trod the paint all round the house then dozed off in pose that looked like he’d been bludgeon to death.

What other animal (apart from humans) is stupid enough to eat until it needs medical intervention not to die?

Snakes eat things that will literally burst them

I was invited to a friends house for New Years Eve and after a lovely meal they brought out the highlight of the evening, some very nice vintage port and a whole stilton cheese…

The table was unwatched for about a second in which time their lab managed to pilfer and eat the whole stilton…

“Not to fear” came the cry from our hosts, “We have another one!” which unfortunately befell the same fate once his back was turned for a similar second…

Sicky Lab, angry owner and guests laughing uncontrollably saw the new year in!

Sister’s In Laws to be had a chocolate Lab that ate 600 uncooked canapés and then excreted them all over the dressed/decorated marquee on the morning of the wedding.

A few years back a friend of ours had their labrador completely ruin christmas.

Wife is laughing her head off at this. The crisp-packet-vom mutt I mentioned earlier was also a lab. They’re just stomachs on legs. Same dog once ate an entire xmas cake in about ten seconds, so fast that MiL couldn’t figure out where it had gone. Until the dog boaked it all back up again, probably on account of how it was about 25% brandy.

Dogs sadly gone. Sam the spaniel would eat absolutely any food you gave him. Happily ate a large bowl of salad, dressing and all but neatly laid the tomato in a heap. Extracted tomato from sandwiches as well. Got a great pic of an old lab/springer x who loved fruit. Picked her own plums, strawberies and apples!

Oh yes- I forgot. Willow once ate the kitchen floor. Lovely new lino, less than a month old. It was bought to jazz up the kitchen to make the house a bit more saleable. The trick worked, the prospective buyer wanted to come round for a second viewing.

So to stick a spanner in the works, pooch eats approx. 0.5m2 of the floor. Frantic patching took place and fortunately I got away with it.

She was pooing pretty colours after that.

Great thread. Feeling Lucky with my springer pup and lab cross!

My old fox terrier Peggy though was a bit of a nightmare. Used to sneak upstairs in the evenings to chew up wife’s underwear and socks. Chewed the tongue from my best shoes. Would regularly empty the bin in the kitchen. And we got rid of the landing carpet the morning after she helped herself to a whole salmon we were cooking on the bbq.

Rosie our Retriever ate my wallet when she was about 10 months old. Well, tried to anyway, notes half eaten, cards chewed in half etc. but for some reason left the driving licence (phew!)

For some reason she has always loved chewing rubber things: toys, tyres, inner tubes left partially in reach etc.etc.

Any how, when she was 3 years old, I had just had surgery on my shoulder and had been given a six foot length of 4″ wide Theraband to use for physio exercises. For those not familiar with this it is like a very large, wide rubber band. When I got it home, she was very interested in the smell so I was careful to put it well out of reach. The next morning I was about to do my exercises when the phone went. I rolled up the Theraband and put it on top of the sofa. It was a wrong number, so 30 secs later, tops, I went back into the room.

No Theraband, one pooch licking lips. And looking very smug. Frantic searching, still nothing. It had been in a roll 4″ long and about as thick as a salami.

Phoned the Vet, who said to bring her down, like Now. They asked if I was sure she had eaten it as it seemd so unlikely, Pretty sure I said so they gave an emetic as it was so soon after ingestion. I was taken with her into a back room and the Vetinary nurse started putting paper down on the floor-it happened to be the local rag.

With a completely straight face aforementioned Nurse said “make sure she is sick on this page, there is a picture of my ex-boyfriend getting married” which there was, and Rosie duly obliged.

They very kindly asked if I wanted the roll of Theraband back. I declined. Rosie spent the rest of the day feeling very sorry for herself and giving me dirty looks.

Y’all need to get a better dog, mine ate an old Nokia so beat that!
Also:
A whole custom birthday cake
3 boxes of 6 mince pies
Copious bunches of bananas
A TV remote
Flowers
Whole boxes of tissues
Use tissues
Wrappers of any variety
The wall
The door
Ripped the wooden door surround off
Chewed the chairs
The side board
Leads
Collars
Harnesses
Lambs
Rabits
Dead *hit

And a he tried a house brick sized rock once, that was a very expensive doggy dentist bill.
He was such a little *u*k*r when he was little!

You lot are tame

This guys dog ate his arm.

Dog ate my arm

* Horse poo. His own poo. His sister’s poo. The dog poo of complete strangers.
* Dead chicks are a guilty pleasure at this time of year.
* The corners of several arm chairs and sofas. The stuffing from the sofas.
* His own bed. His dog leads.
* A TV remote control. My glasses. USB cables. Headphone cables. Mains cables. Basically anything plastic in the house not put away.
* Butter. Lurpak lighter spreadable. I don’t think he can tell it’s not really butter.
* Bread. Sliced. Frozen is fine.
* Tomatoes. The internet says only the green bits are bad. So far, so good. Also tomato ketchup (Heinz).
* A melon.
* Chocolate and raisin tiffin. Coconut, chocolate and raisin tiffin. Raisins give him extra smelly farts, and he then produces copious quantities of diarrhoea at 5 in the morning.

my 12 month old human eats similar things.

We’ve two labs and are pretty lucky tbh, but both love fruit and will stop and graze on blackberries on autumn walks. The buggers both eat the raspberries off the bushes in the garden and also too us a while to figure out why the healthy looking pea plants had no pods on them.

When I was younger my mate had a proper dustbin of a labrador. He lived on a farm and one evening we’d been out and shot a few ducks for the pot. Our shooting exploits were notoriously unsuccessful so we were quite pleased with ourselves and looking forward to tasty roast duck the next night. He hung them in the old diary in a hessian sack, with the intent of plucking them first thing the next morning. Dog got there first and ate all four and the sack. No ill effects that we ever noticed…