The things people say to you when you're on a mountain bike

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  • The things people say to you when you're on a mountain bike
  • Premier Icon njee20
    Subscriber

    I can honestly say that no one's ever said anything like that to me!

    Talkemada
    Member

    Get off the road you ****ing ****!!!

    Get off the path you ****ing ****!!!

    Get orf moi laaaand ****ing ****er!!!!

    I want your babies!!!

    falkirk-mark
    Member

    When they ask what your bike cost then tell you that you could get one like that for £150 from Halfords.

    SpokesCycles
    Member

    Heh- a couple of weeks ago on Cavedale at the top Iwas told it was possible and a woman said she was "going to put it on youtube".

    We did Ben Lomond at the weekend and there was a lot of similar stuff said.

    singlecrack
    Member

    where's your bell

    Premier Icon Garry_Lager
    Subscriber

    Oh look, a lycra lout!

    Said when I passed some woman at about 1mph, breathing out me arse, climbing the Wrekin.

    simonfbarnes
    Member

    "Are you Simon f Barnes?" 🙂

    Premier Icon big_scot_nanny
    Subscriber

    "wow, nice bike! How many gears?"

    "18"

    "Pfft, ha ha, mines got 24" followed by looks of pity.

    😆

    Soup
    Member

    Mountain bikes cause more erosion than horses you know. My reply? 'At least they don't 5hit all over the road'

    Read in a mag some years ago but it is the thing my gran would say

    "He keeps his water in that little bag"

    Tinners
    Member

    "I bet you can't ride down that" (then point at a 500m sheer drop/cliff, marginally less steep that vertical). My stock answer is usually "It was hard enough riding up it"

    mattp
    Member

    you should slow down which usually gets the response: I did – you should learn to share…

    Premier Icon stevomcd
    Subscriber

    Heh- a couple of weeks ago on Cavedale at the top Iwas told it was possible and a woman said she was "going to put it on youtube".

    I had a very similar experience when I rode Cavedale a while back.

    Chavvy family at top arguing:
    "I'm not F'ing walking down there, it's F'ing impossible."

    "Oh F*** some guy's just gone down on a F'in bike, he's going to F'in kill himself, come and watch!"

    Talkemada
    Member

    "I'm not F'ing walking down there, it's F'ing impossible."

    "Oh F*** some guy's just gone down on a F'in bike, he's going to F'in kill himself, come and watch!"

    😆

    I've had 'are you going to ride down those steps mate?'

    It's almost like a challenge. To back out would be to show weakness. The penalty for failure is certainly injury and humiliation, and possibly death…

    Premier Icon 2unfit2ride
    Subscriber

    I remember the gathered crowd when I went down the hill that the hang gliders jump off at Dunstable downs saying he's mad, I also remember I forgot to zip up the camelbak & all the content flying out in front of me 😕
    Oh and the scramble back up to retrieve the contents, some of which were in rabbit holes 🙂

    fontmoss
    Member

    the things people say to you when you're on a mtb

    are you a roadie then? 🙁

    tazzymtb
    Member

    covered in muck during a winter ride a couple of young horse riding ladies greeted me with " my god, you're filthy" they looked a bit shocked when I responded with " Oh yes! and I'm covered in mud 😉 "

    'so that's why it's called a push bike'

    Trampus
    Member

    +1 egf! 🙂

    mushrooms
    Member

    Oh look there's one of those people who likes to get all dressed up.

    Not to my face but I was within listening distance 🙄

    sofatester
    Member

    Oh look there's one of those people who likes to get all dressed up

    What where you wearing at the time? Tweed and loafers? 😉

    samuri
    Member

    "My god you're sexy. Look, follow me home, we are going have the wildest sex you've ever experienced in your life!"

    What a bullshitting bastard he was. It was rubbish.

    sofatester
    Member

    What a bullshitting bastard he was. It was rubbish.

    Sorry, i had forgotten to take my blue pill 😥

    keavo
    Member

    slow down you ****

    Kevevs
    Member

    "we're going to do this, take it easy or get off if you want" (points down).

    I just follow 'em a little bit slower.

    Then they say "I'm pushing this bit"

    I Just ride past 'em.

    colnagokid
    Member

    "will you go to the shop for us mate, for some cans like, we'll look after your bike"

    Kevevs
    Member

    lol colnagokid!

    AlasdairMc
    Member

    "Can I get a lift?"

    500 times on the weekend I was riding the West Highland Way, not realising that the Caledonian Challenge was going the other way.

    And every single utterance of it was made with the speaker thinking it was entirely original and witty

    Premier Icon singlespeedstu
    Subscriber

    You lot should try going out on a tandem and see how quickly "she's not pedalling" get's on your tits.

    duntmatter
    Member

    Ooh look, he's all muddy. (In central London on the way home.)

    Premier Icon kimbers
    Subscriber

    "man check out his bike -its stealth

    said by group of young hoodys when riding my dh bike to the local shop

    i like that 😆

    duntmatter
    Member

    Look at them! They've all got ……..**** ing……… Disc Brakes!

    On a STW pootle.

    "Nice bike mate. Youre going to have to give it to me. ….. Hey come back here!"

    There was a knife involved too 🙁

    naokfreek
    Member

    Had a good one from a granny on Piccadilly this morning, had popped onto the pavement to check the exchange rate and granny ( real old and gnarly looking) said ' you should'nt be on the pavement on a bike you stupid f@@king fool!'…she was right of course. Made my day.

    Premier Icon aracer
    Subscriber

    You lot should try going out on a tandem and see how quickly "she's not pedalling" get's on your tits.

    Does it? I just always reply "she must be, because I'm not" (occasionally something else, but that's the stock answer).

    Andituk
    Member

    "Aren't you supposed to be riding that thing?"

    From an old lady as I pushed up a hill, I was ashamed.

    "Plenty of pedal power today"

    From an old guy today, wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, is it a question, a prediction, a comment on the weather, I wasn't sure.

    Aidan
    Member

    "DID YOU CATCH THEM?!" Bellowed by competitive dad to his son after they had followed our group down some singletrack. Tw*t on so many levels.

    Hairychested
    Member

    How can you ride a bike with such fat tyres?
    Whenever I cycle to work, which is in Roadie/Triathlon Heaven.

    bjj.andy.w
    Member

    "Aren't you supposed to be riding that thing" when i'm pushing up a hill is normaly replied with "It's feeling a bit tired"

    Teifiterror
    Member

    "You killed our friend!" Passed on to me by two horse riders as I was stood still waiting for them to pass, turns out a cyclist ran into a horse not long before and the guy had been thrown off and killed (don't know how truthful they were) but then decided to tarnish me and probably everyone with the same brush.

    "You've been burning the wood!" By some old lady that confused us until we saw firemen putting a small fire out and realised she had thought we were just riding round the forest starting fires.

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