THE Swinley super-sexual super-fun all-welcoming December FUN RIDE![/u]

OK here goes, I’ve broken it up into sections to try and answer as many questions in advance as possible.

WHATS THE BIG IDEA?
Who wants to join us for a chilled not so serious not too fast ride? A ride that is completely devoid of mad skilz, big air and judgement, an afternoon of getting muddy in Swinley…

Conversation and pace will be set by the slowest person so please dont worry about not keeping up with the mentalists, this should be an afternoon with lots of little stops and no pressure to be amazing.

If that sounds like your idea of fun, then it would be a pleasure to have you along.

WHERE AND WHEN?[/u]
The plan is to meet at 11:30 – 11:40am on Sunday 5th December in the LookOut carpark for fettling, pumping up tyres, admiring my pyjamas and then setting off to ride at 12o-clock lunchtime.

It is worth emphasising that it is sensible to allow plenty of time to park and, if needs be, use the Coral Reef car park which is across the road from the entrance to the LookOut.

A webpage with the LookOut address details (on the right of the map), map and directions is available HERE.

ARE THERE ANY RULES?[/u]
Rules? Wouldn’t that ruin the spirit of such a friendly chilled ride? Well yes it would if it was all taken too seriously, however there are some pointers that are worth getting out of the way now, fingers crossed they don’t come across as super-strict rules.. more pieces of advice to make your ride and everyone else’s that little bit more enjoyable.

1) Bring your own spares,

2) Bring your own camelback/water, (fill it with hot water if the temperature is below freezing and you want it to be functional!),

3) Wear a helmet if you’ve got one or do your own risk assessment and dont,

4) Bring your own mid-ride snacks, dont want any “bonking” now do we 😉

5) Route will be decided upon the day but may involve heading towards the labyrinth etc first as its one of the further points from the car-park and good fun.

6) If LOTS of people turn up, we will break into groups of around 12-15, otherwise we can all pootle off together.

7) In the spirit of a beginners/gentle/nothing-too-serious-ride I will be wearing full on downhill pyjamas..I will ride a carrera from halfords and I will make sure any bike snobs out there will be mortally offended by my blatant disregard for the unwritten rules of MTB… so if anyone is worrying about what they ride or their choice of lycra, relax as you wont be judged!

8 ) We ride at the pace of the slowest rider, or we ride at our own pace and wait at the top of the next hill/section/junction for others to catch up.

9) No pressure on anyone to do things they are not happy with as it’s all about having fun! Walking certain sections/hills will not be frowned upon.

Drink/nicotine/funny smelling cigarettes disclaimer:
I dont really feel the need to tell people to be considerate, so I’ll just say that people are people and will do what they want, but in the spirit of a super-welcoming-ride if people do want to smoke/drink/turn up naked then I’d respectfully ask that people are considerate of those that might be put out by it, and for non-smokers to not make the poor nicotine starved feel guilty with disapproving looks etc.

WHO’S GOING TO LEAD THE WAY?[/u]

Torminalis –
Don’t worry old chap, I know Swinley like the back of me hand.

I will be sure to show you the death bowl, the alligator drop, the tank run, the Golden Retriever and best of all, the white knuckle waterfall… underwater mtb’ing at its best. All connected up by brief trips in helicopter ambulances. It is going to be truly awesome.

😆

DOESN’T SWINLEY REQUIRE A PERMIT TO RIDE?[/u]
Why yes it does, you can buy one on the day or alternatively you can buy in advance online…. link to purchase day permit:

CLICK HERE

WHATS THE PLAN FOR FOOD? I’M HUNGRY, MAKE ME A PIE!![/u]
Those who survive the afternoon are all invited to a post ride feast in the cafe around start of dusk.

Seating is outside so maybe throw an extra layer in your car for when we get back, and feel free to bring your own snacks and drinks for the feast if you want to save money or treat the group to your own flapjack/cake creations.

SO, ARE YOU UP FOR IT?[/u]
If you’re planning on joining in then register your interest on this thread, I will give out my mobile number to those requesting it via email nearer the time.

If anyone wants to bring their helmet cams and DSLRs to record this magical event… awesome!

This is going to be fun 😀

DISCLAIMER:
As this ride is simply a casual ride organised by a group of friends based in a magical digital world, we are not members of any association or federation and therefore are not covered by any insurance.

By the very nature of the sport all-terrain biking does have a degree of RISK and we ask all those who join us to take this into consideration .

I cannot accept any liability or responsibility for any incidents which may occur during this ride and suggest that those who are new to the sport ensure they are prepared for the inevitable, puncture, mechanical,rain shower and odd tumble or two.

It is recommended that your mobile phone has an entry titled “EMERGENCY” or “ICE” (In Case of Emergency) with a contact number of someone you’d like contacted if something goes wrong… which we hope we will never have to use.

wow that takes nearly as long to read as it did to write! 😳

that is indeed a mission to read… good thorough post though, as you say it should answer most questions! I’m off work next weekend, so reckon my and Mrs P might make this… what train from London to Swinley? Or are there any North London based chaps with a spare seat or two? 🙂

train info isn’t my area of knowledge unfortunately…. hopefully someone will be able to shed some light on possibilities though!

all that writing and i forgot public tansport… *runs off to cry*

Psychle; the train from Waterloo to St Martins Heron is probbly best. A bit bloody slow though. But it’s only a couple of miles from the Lookout. You can ride along the edge of the forest, and avoid the busy road.

I may grace this ride with my salted presence. I shall be smoking, and will blow smoke in the face of anyone who looks at me in a disapproving manner.

That cafe is crap and overpriced imo. Best bring yer own grub in little tupperware containers.

What are we going to do about serious injuries/deaths? Can someone bring a shovel, so’s we can dig a shallow grave if necessary? Saves all the fuss of calling out the air ambulance, not to mention the cost to the taxpayers.

Don’t bury people alive though; have a rock or something heavy to hand to dispatch them. It’s more humane.

At what point do we decide on Mercy Killings? I mean, if someone can crawl back to the car park, just leave them to it? Or put them out of their misery? Anyone got a captive bolt gun?

I’ll be there. Cheers Phil.

if i’ve moved house by then i’ll be there, beard , pipe and nich bike intact

Sounds like a bit of me. As it’s darn sarf, I shall expect dry, dusty trails mind. 😀

Count me in .
Better than trudging round stupid shops, doing stupid christmas shopping, surrounded by stupid sheep people, buying stupid presents that are frankly rubbish.
Should be fun, as long as its stays frozen.

STM; don’t do all that stupidness. I’m not buying anything for anyone. Sod ’em. I’m going to spend what little money I have, on myself.

Better that way, innit? Cheeze, my nan used to give me some proper rubbish. Or worse, a jumper she’d knitted herself, bless her. Some of them, even my mum couldn’t bring herself to force me to wear them. They went to the charity shop. Probbly still there I’d reckon.

Me nan’s dead now though so no more crap presents thank God.

excellent 🙂

limbo.. was that an “i’m in” ?

Count me in!

Anyone from the Southampton area, or on route, who wants a lift I have a pick up with room for 4 passengers and their bikes. Probably more dangerous than the actual ride but drop me an email or post on here if you want a lift. Leaving Southampton around 10:30am

Why the hell not – I’ll be there 😀

Be nice to ride some where different.

I’m in!

Though I’ll have to see whether my pass is still valid on the day…

So long as my work rota doesn’t change it’s a def from me. It’s time I stopped lurking and started socialising!

8)

did i mention its a wife-swapping sexy party?

i think for most people on the ride it will be the first time they’ve met anyone from the forum by the looks of it… me included. nearer the time as we know more about numbers we’ll have to nominate a specific meeting place in the carpark to meet.

Anyone going from Brighton? Could do with a lift!! 😀

I make legendary Brownies BTW……..

Just because I know the place doesn’t mean everyone is going to want to sit behind me as I dawdle along! That said, if you were looking for an excuse to dawdle about then I might just be your man…

Good effort.

Would have definitely come if I wasn’t broken 🙁

Have fun guys.

I will come.

It isn’t my favourite place to ride but I would love to meet everyone, I think it will be a good craik.

P.S. Coming from Biggin Hill/Warlingham area, have room in car for two others (I hope you like happy harcore/trance/dance!)

haha apparently the promise of wife-swapping has enticed people from as far as brighton 😆

dont worry torm, it looks like it’ll be a reasonably big group so will prob have to split up into a couple of groups…. i’m not expecting anyone to “lead”… more hoping there might be a couple of people who could go “ohhh theres some swoopy stuff over there” 🙂

Hi Folks

i’m up for this, I will be driving from SW London/Surrey (motspur park) I have room for 1 rider/bike

I’l be coming from the South Glos area if anyone wants a lift.

if it wasnt quite so far Id pop up again.

I think Mrs PP and I might be able to make it too 🙂

I’ll be there. Never been on a group ride before so should be interesting! If anyone is going through Haslemere then a lift would be great, but otherwise I’ll be driving (slowly).

🙂 glad you spotted the thread timothius, i’ve never been on a group ride with anyone from this forum (biggest group i’ve ridden with was about 10 people, normally 3-5 people)

😯

my creation is growing! will we need name badges? haha

I’ll be in Ireland gloating over their self-indulgence induced financial misery. 🙁

Would love to have to come along. And well done for the excellently worded first post 8)

Have a great ride all. I bet it’ll be a hoot.

cheers DD, if its a success then i can’t see a reason why there wouldn’t be another planned for early spring

I’d be up for this if I wasn’t picking up a new frame that weekend. Still haven’t ridden Swinley.

Yeah why not, my pass is still valid after all.

mrs consequence is apologising in advance for being slow already haha

Just don’t scare the kids. PalmerParkVelo will be out in force. Look out for the yellow tops and sublime skills…

I may try and meet up after our ride.

Overflow car park – is accessed from far right hand side of car park on the road that exits the car park. It is alongside the B3430 Nine Mile Ride. Hope that makes sense!

Singletrackworld banner – I’ll get there early and display it from my car.

Fortunately a few of us do know each other!

Sounds as though it will be a terrific day phil and thanks for your efforts. Am really looking forward to this. 😀

Please assure mrsconsequence that I will be the slowest.

too far North for me I’m afraid… sounds good though

I’ll probably be coming up from Dorset unless the weather is too grim. I’ll try and round up a couple of carrot crunchers to make a van full (DrP to the forum).

Gives me a week to find some warm clothes. Went for a ride today and my ears / hands were frozen!

Never been to Swinley, looking forward to underwater riding.

Glad you can make it timothius!

rusty – will be good to see you and DrP again. Any chance of persuading Mulletus?

Could be persuaded to attend this one. Are we getting lost in the labyrinth again?

c_g – the best chance of persuading Mulletus will be if we meet you in the car park for a chat and then bugger off for a road ride…hhmmm not a bad idea actually as i wouldn’t have to drive home with muddy clothes on.