I’ve used the grass trick before.
Stuffed it with grass, pumped it up as hard as I could and raced to the nearest petrol station compressor to pump it up some more.
It was better than nothing, although I did get covered in grass juice.

I stuffed heather into a tyre once when I realised I had left the spare tube in a different bag.

It was quicker than walking, but only just. The stuff would frequently pack down and shuffle round leaving a gap, so I had to keep stopping to stuff more in the space. Eventually it was pretty much rock solid and heavier than the earth, but it worked, ish…

If you have greasy oily hands from working on the bike, simply squirt them with WD40 or GT85, wipe with a clean rag & hey presto… clean hands.

Stefmcdef deserves an *applause* for that one 🙂

Orange cordial will stain hydration pack bladders – lemon cordial will not.

Most hydration pack bladders are freezer safe despite the manufacturer recommending you to leave it somewhere warm to go mouldy.

Instead of buying the proper tool for removing valve cores, use a section of 10 speed chain as a wrench for removing the core, the gap between the side plates on the chain fit perfectly over the valve core flats.

Tip 1.

If you taco your wheel beyond repair so badly that you even after straightening you can’t get it to run through your forks without rubbing on the legs, take the tyre off and roll it home on the rim, to avoid carrying it.

Tip 2.

When doing the above, don’t give in to the voice that says ‘go, on I’m sure riding on a busted rim will be fine as long as you don’t go mad’ It won’t be and you’ll end up carrying the f**king thing anyway.

Been doing some maintenance on your bike, got oily hands but run out of swarfega ? Just use fairy liquid with sugar added in. Job done.

Want to avoid the silly short service intervals on your suspension fork? Simple, if you have a lock out, always ride with the fork locked out.

When riding home rather inebriated from a friends stag do, on a fixie with knobbly flat pedals fitted because you’re wearing smartish flat shoes..don’t get distracted by the pretty moon, as it will end in a rather unpleasant episode of your feet becoming desynchronised from the pedal, which is likely to end in significant pain.

That is all…..

DrP

If you’ve left your spare tube in a different bag, tie a knot (or knots) in the tube with a puncture in it. Not that great a ride, but miles better than grass.

Of course this doesn’t work all that well if you’ve also left your pump in a different bag.

Always carry around 2 heavy bags with you wherever you go, that way, if anyone ever asks you for help carrying things you can say “Sorry, I can’t, I’ve got these 2 bags”

youfs! when out digging new jumps or downhill get someone to bring along and empty their recycling bin around the place – homely and makes the land manager think its all ok because been in use for a while

also if you are digging jumps and can’t find anywhere to get the dirt form just use the trail after it, instantly turn any small jump into gap! Also throw any sticks you had to cut down in the hole.

Big M – Member
If you have greasy oily hands from working on the bike, simply squirt them with WD40 or GT85, wipe with a clean rag and hey presto… clean hands.

Sorry to be a naysayer but I really wouldn’t recommend that. When spannering I used this trick sometimes, and now have really messed-up skin on my hands – some form of dermatitis, and it’s not going away.

GT 85 is mostly solvent. WD40 might not be so bad but it’s mainly mineral oil, which isn’t good either.

When arriving at a trail centre car park for an away ride, don’t despair when you find your riding shoes are still in the garage. Simply duck tape your crocs to your SPD’s to make the most utterly ridiculous pair of toeclips ever.

Yes, a mate really did that, and while it compromised his riding somewhat, at least he got to go riding.

….. got oily hands but run out of swarfega ? Just use fairy liquid with sugar added in. Job done.

Olive oil and salt works even better, with the added bonus that it saves on expensive hand cream and your partner will appreciate the touch of your lovely soft hands and compensate for the hours you’ve wasted spent fettling 😉

Cheap mans Sram Powerlink Splitter

1 x £1 pair of scissors from your local Swedish home store
10min grinding (bench grinder or angle grinder)

^^
Nice!

DrP

That pic above, ‘measure twice, split chain once’ 😉

Grips. Hairspray to go on. WD40 to come off

Wookie – brush that yard man!

That pic above, ‘measure twice, split chain once’

Nope, shite shimano chain.

Wookie – brush that yard man!

In this weather? Sod that im off out on the bike!

10/10 good riposte.

1 x £1 pair of scissors from your local Swedish home store
10min grinding (bench grinder or angle grinder)

How much for the bench grinder?

OK
My entry:
<YehudaMoonMode>

Parking Brake. Scale up the bands if the bike is fully loaded. Touring I use a Silicon rubber wrist band
</YehudaMoonMode>

My cheap man’s powerlink splitter:

fingers – come free with hands
correct technique – priceless

Even 10spd SRAM ones???

Although I do those with normal pliers, each jaw on opposite corners, then replace with kmc so the issue goes away and refer to aracers technique!

@gofasterstripes I just use a bit of old inner tube or a cable tie partly done up.

Clarks do a removable 10sp link btw

If you ever set yourself on fire, try not to catch sight of yourself in the mirror, you’re likely to panic.

If you wreck a tyre out on the trails try using the spare one around your waist,might smart a bit at first but could get you home!

Dog walkers! save spending money on collars and leads. Simply walk your dog backwards by holding it by it’s tail.

Use barrier cream before any oily jobs, hands much easier to clean afterwards.

Avoid feeling insecure about how unfit and overweight you are by simply ridiculing everyone who is faster than you or (god forbid!) wants to race their bike. Suggested phraseology is “bloody roadies on MTBs”, “They can’t ride technical stuff you know” and “ha ha look at their stupid shaved legs”

Then get back to buying pointless ‘bling’ for your bike, or selling your almost brand new components on STW because you’re having a ‘colour scheme change’

🙂

Love the chain splitter,might have to make one of those.
.
None bike one: changing the oil on Peugeot/Citroen XUD diesel engine? Sump plug is a wierd size and impossible to buy a tool for. The square ‘axel’ bit of a toilt chain lever is a perfect fit, insert and then clamp with adjustable spanner or molegrips for leverage.
Then attempt to explain to housemate who finds you covered in oil with the cistern in pieces that you have just been using it for car maintanance and see if they beleive you

Key rings are good for replacing lost disc brake pad pins ,

Creaks and squeaks from the seat and seat-post area? Check your back axle is done up tight (learnt five mins ago!).

Another recent discovery…

Piston stuck in calliper?

Air line won’t shift it?

A small piece of bleed tube will seal a co2 inflator to the bleed nipple (you can fit a bleed nipple to where the brake line attaches if it’s the other half). Molegrips and a puncture patch will seal the transfer port. Pop!

Missus complaining you’re out for a day’s riding AGAIN? Give her an empty aluminium cigar tube filled with a dozen angry wasps to keep herself amused.