From the sound of your post slowmart, I could guess that we have probably been briefly reading from the same hymn sheet at some point down the line..
To further the criminal advice, another old lag once advised me that before I embarked upon any criminal endeavour I should work out how much my cut would be.. then I should weigh it up against how much that would equate to, per hour for the duration of my sentence, if I was to get caught and sent down..
That’s steered me right a few times..
Something that really turned my life around at a low point though, was some drunken Welsh yobbo at Reading festival one year..
Him and a couple of buddies were spending the evening ignoring the music, sat in the middle of the avenue, passing around endless bottles of smirnoff and heartily shouting ‘BOLLLOOOOCCCKKS!!!!’ in a deep and lusty baritone whenever BS was detected amongst their company and anyone foolhardy enough to join it.. I’m not 100% certain what my semi-naked, tripped out space cadet mind took away from the couple of hours I spent with those guys, but it’s certainly stood me in good stead..