My best mate from 9 to about 15 always had druggy / alcoholic tendencies. All he ever wanted was to be off his tits.

Caught up with him in our early ’20s. His teeth were black and he didn’t smell too good.

Went out on the lash with him and it wasn’t a bad night. Said he could crash at my (grotty) bedsit – only bed a double. Plenty of booze and cheeky smokes and we crashed out. Woke the next morning feeling wet and cold – he’d pissed the bed, a few times over by the feel of things. He then woke up and found a warm, flat, opened can of Kronenbourg and necked it. It kind of made me realise how I didn’t want my life to go.

I was pissing up a wall in Bristol when a copper came round the corner and told me to stop or he would arrest me. I held the end and managed to end the flow out onto the wall but not into the foreskin. He gave me a lecture whilst I was holding on for dear life. He then told me to move on, apparently oblivious to my predicament. I got about fifty yards down the street before I had to let go. Some poor bugger needed to give their Fiat a hell of a scrub down the next day.

This is a bit embarrassing some years later but we were only young…

In Corfu absolutely hammered after a night out on a boys holiday, no excuse i know but, we came across some guy lying in the street obviously a little under the weather from a heavy sesh… well we thought it would be funny to piss on him which at the time was hilarious so we did… and with wee gurgling in his ears and us giggling like school girls he suddenly jumped up and ran down the street yelling alsorts of things in Swedish i think….still giggle about that now.

cardos story just reminded me

at uni, in halls, 1st yr
flats upstairs had a punch party, we werent invited, so got hammered in our flat instead
anyway they went out, we went upstairs and emptied a load of shampoo etc in their huge vat of punch, i then decided to relieve myself, it was a full on pissed persons bladder emptying

later on they all came back and decided they ought to offer us some of their never ending punch

we declined

a friend a nd i got thrown out of a (crappy) bar for mock fighting.

nick was a bit peeved at this so decided to publicise the fact by pissing up the full length window of the bar – just where some birds were standing.

and then we saw the blue lights. think he had to pay 80 quid for that one.

i’ve a truely embarrassing story from when i was 17 involving a white pair of jeans, a girl on her period, dodgy open air sex and having to stop half-way as a friend was being chased by some lads.

it’s only when we got back to his place that i realised the front of my white jeans were no longer white.

borrowed a pair of my mates shorts and stuck the jeans in a carrier bag. my extended family were visiting when i got home so chucked the jeans up onto the garage roof.

took them down a few days later and chucked them in the washing machine to no avail. took them to the dry cleaners and my face was as red as the satin when the lady asked me what the stain was.

i chucked the jeans after that.

another one….. we used to drink down at a snooker hall and get stupid. one evening a mate decided to buy one of our group a shot if he could pot a ball. no-one asked why he didn’t have to go down stairs for it though. quite funny watching your mate unknowingly downing a shot of piss….

House party one night, several reprobates passed out on the floor. Daz suddenly stands up, lurches towards the tv ang begins peeing into the open top of the Playstation. A quick thinking Jim jumps up and guides the still sleep-pissing Daz down the hall and out of the front door.

Was a bit of a bummer as the playstation stopped working… For a couple of weeks anyway. There remained a crust of piss-rime at the back of the disc section though and it used to smell once it got warm. Oh how we laughed.

I forgot a uni story – some welsh guy at uni took a liking to shitting in the shared showers in the first year of halls… 3 years later a friend from halls got a phone call saying that this guy had passed out after a heavy sesh in a mutual friends place… 10 minutes later karma was paid as one of my mates took a poop on his head and posted pictures all around uni.

weird thing is he wasn’t too bummed by it!