• This topic has 127 replies, 87 voices, and was last updated 9 years ago by DezB.
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  • The joy of having kids…
  • Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    Missing wheels off dishwasher tray found in toy box.

    Replacement wheels arrived in post this morning.

    Stoner
    Free Member

    Stoner Jr Jr this morning: “Im nearly full up of breakfast. This leg’s full anyway. I need to eat more to fill the other one up to my knee at least”

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    Is it a “joy”

    Just askin like..

    johndoh
    Free Member

    My 5 year old last night – ‘do all baddies have moustaches’?

    (She is utterly absorbed by the world wars and we normally read war books for bedtime – this has been going on for months). She has even learned how to spell Hitler. 😀

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    HTF did a kid get the wheels off the dishwasher tray?

    Can you send him round to get the stuck pedal off my road bike?

    nemesis
    Free Member

    My 6 year old at around 3:30 am last night

    “You didn’t give me any water. Don’t forget to fill up my water bottle next time”.

    Cheeky git. I’ll play with his Lego while he’s not looking 🙂

    cinnamon_girl
    Full Member

    … when your adult son becomes an obsessive Strava roadie and has a stable of 3.

    I blame the mother. 😆

    ransos
    Free Member

    4am this morning. Daddy, I think I would like to go back to wearing a pull-up nappy…

    hatter
    Full Member

    When they go splat and cut their knee and come out with:

    “Where my blood go? I need that, you put it back in”

    He’s 2 and a half now and getting steadily funnier, V2.0’s due any day now.

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    my 3 yr old had a bad dream and came into us at 2am, waking us both up, wife asks whats the matter?

    ‘I didn’t want daddy to wash my pants’ lol.

    iwluap
    Full Member

    Eldest (just past 3 at the time) having a full-on tantrum because I finished the drink she gave me. It was a pretend drink..!

    loddrik
    Free Member

    when my youngest was two she decided to use the carpet as a canvas for a large sudocrem painting, the stain is still there, all metre square of it…

    edhornby
    Full Member

    eldest was making Mrs Ed laugh and she said ‘Francesca, you’re a comedy genius’

    ‘Mum! I’m not a comedy Jesus ‘

    njee20
    Free Member

    when my youngest was two she decided to use the carpet as a canvas for a large sudocrem painting, the stain is still there, all metre square of it…

    Could’ve been worse, the cat could have been the canvas!

    jam-bo
    Full Member

    you sure it wasn’t the cat?

    Edukator
    Free Member

    One day they will all be 16.

    johndoh
    Free Member

    Edukator, that is such a sad thought 🙁

    loddrik
    Free Member

    Could’ve been worse, the cat could have been the canvas!

    Oh the cats have all been painted on or drawn on at some stage. 😆

    johndoh
    Free Member

    (Watching mummy eating toast with seeds in the bread)
    Kiddie: What are those?
    Mummy: Seeds
    Kiddie: If we plant them can we grow a toast tree?

    And another on the war
    Me: The baddies (the Germans) wear crosses around their necks (so she could work out who were who in the pictures)
    Kiddie: Do the goodies wear ticks?

    miketually
    Free Member

    One day they will all be 16.

    Mine are 11 and (almost) 9 now, and they’re still brilliant and hilarious.

    njee20
    Free Member

    For anyone who’s not read it:

    Sudocrem Cat

    IMO the funniest thread ever on STW.

    As you were.

    oldbloke
    Free Member

    It was on a similar thread years ago that someone posted this image. Not far off how mine “helped” me a few years ago.

    thegreatape
    Free Member

    My 4yr old told the 7yr old that he had learnt at nursery that another name for your willy and bawbag was your ‘pirate parts’. Five minutes later the 7yr old is parading round the house fully naked except for the pirate patch from the dressing up box partially covering his little cock and balls.

    Edukator
    Free Member

    When he’s not being a provocative, anti-social “ado” junior still has moments of being brilliant. Today has gone well so far but will degenerate at some point. Had a Telecaster + acoustic guitar jam this morning and swam together at lunchtime. There are far worse in his class which is resulting in a catastrophic divorce rate among the parents.

    fasthaggis
    Full Member

    My youngest has just gone off to Uni ,we are all missing him a lot .
    It only seems a blink ago that we were reading Hungry Caterpillar.
    Hold them close and treasure those simple years. 🙂

    boxelder
    Full Member

    Our 4 yr old regularly uses the word ‘whoopsidentally’ when something unplanned happens – breaking big bros airfix etc. We’re in no hurry to correct her – it should be a proper word and in the dictionary.

    mrblobby
    Free Member

    Hold them close and treasure those simple years.

    Good advice but hard to follow when in a case of perpetual near exhaustion (2yr old and a 7m old here.)

    DezB
    Free Member

    One day they will all be 16.

    All at the same time? That’s gonna be WEIRD!

    fasthaggis
    Full Member

    when in a case of perpetual near exhaustion

    That’s what makes the good times great Mr B 😉

    teadrinker
    Free Member

    Paying at the till after shopping at the supermarket my 2 and bit year old tells Mrs teadrinker who’s packing the shopping “Mummy put shopping in Daddies back door”

    Daddies back door is her reference to the boot of the car. We often get strange looks when she mentions this in public.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    When do you have to stop reading The Hungry Caterpillar? 😯

    Though Room on the Broom is still my favourite….lived the way a toddler who can’t read could recite it perfectly. The whole book. Over. And over…..

    2tyred
    Full Member

    I recently discovered that the only place to ask the “how was school today?” question and get a response other than “fine” is on the trampoline in the garden. So that’s where I ask that question now, in a 3-way bounce-fest after I’ve put my bike away. I can bounce really high when I want to. Building up to a somersault.

    stevied
    Free Member

    Just this very morning. Jnr is 2 1/2…

    Jnr: “Daddy, what’s the skirrel doing?”
    Daddy: “He’s hiding his nuts in the garden”
    Jnr: “Why doesn’t he hide them in his pants like you?”
    Wife spits Cheerio’s across the table..

    cfinnimore
    Free Member

    CANT WAIT TO HAVE KIDS.

    Batshit crazy little people I can call my own.

    ti_pin_man
    Free Member

    it is, after all, the reason we are here, fab thread.

    Our twins aren’t at the talking stage to come out with classics but one continues to copy the sounds she hears us make and even came out with: oaooooh noahhooooo. At four months we were impressed. but every little smile makes the pain and suffering worthwhile.

    binners
    Full Member

    I was shopping one day, and pulled my wallet out to discover my bank card was missing. Where the hells that gone? So go through the usual procedure, report it missing, wait days for the new one to arrive

    Then, on walking through the front room, I look down to see it sticking out of the card reader on this

    Bless ’em

    chief1409
    Free Member

    My 2 year old spotted an elderly gentleman on a mobility scooter coming towards him on the pavement. He waits until said gentleman is right beside us and then shouts at the top of his voice “LAWNMOWER!!!!”…

    DezB
    Free Member

    Ah, fond memories. The time we were in Sainsburys.. “That man’s black!” shouts my boy (then aged 3 or 4).
    Might remind him of that later – he calls me racist if I just say the word black these days 😆

    cfinnimore
    Free Member

    Non Parent With Not Quite Wife at 27 At That Definitive Point In Life..

    Not got ’em yet, but it’s planned. I’ve always been parental but wonder if most people anticipate the joy in parenthood, or if it’s a wonderful surprise thrust upon them?

    fervouredimage
    Free Member

    I’m glad I’ve read this thread. My wife has her 12 week scan tomorrow afternoon. I’m trying to contain my excitement about the whole prospect at this stage but I am overjoyed at the prospect of our first.

    New chapter in life.

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