Perhaps the most difficult time of year for anyone who suffers with mental health, depression, anxiety etc.

So to all of you, if you’re struggling, no matter how minor you think it may be, shout up on this thread, a problem shared and all that. Just please take comfort that you’re not alone, and you don’t have to face this alone.

Me? I’m trying to stave it off. But it’s going to be difficult. The girl who repeatedly messes my head up has done it again, and a couple of weeks ago I found out that I’ve been taken for a mug once again, lied to and more than likely cheated on (no evidence for this, but it is her M.O.) it’s her 40th today, and even after everything, I’m gutted she’s spending it with another man, then of course playing happy families all together over Christmas.
I’m skint because of mind **** above I haven’t been able to work properly, my self confidence and self esteem are shot so any interviews I do get I struggle to sell myself. I can’t afford much for my family and new baby Niece. My usual coping mechanism/distraction is volunteering for the NT but that’s off now until 2nd Jan.
I haven’t done anything festive, I’ve avoided it like the plague, I just want the next 2 weeks to be over and done with, it’s going to be tough.

If you were local to me, Houns, you could come round for a hug.

Hope it gets better houns.. Sorry to hear about your problem/struggles. Good luck

Awww

(It was a ginger ……. that got me in to this mess)

GSWT!

Indeed

Anyway, this isn’t a thread all about me. Just posted my crap up in hope it gives others courage to shout up

It’s shit place to be I’m just crawling out horrendous time on,y realising how shit it’s been now, I’m buzzed for the next few weeks as I’m actually enjoying company again.

You could have come here for drinks and gluttony Houns if you’d been closer.

Like Hound says don’t lie to yourself get help.

Aww bless ya, thanks. I’ll be up in new year hopefully, visiting family in the N.E. so I’ll give you a shout then to meet up for a cocktail, then off up over the border.

Aye do and we’ll try and catch up.

Been through the wringer myself in the past, years of therapy to address decades of mental torment. Even though I’m much better now I still hate this time of year – everyone is try to be jolly but hardly anyone actually is,and I see straight through the facades which makes me hate it even more. I’m resigned to spending Xmas with people but am doing my best to avoid new year.

Stay strong folks, look after yourselves and post away on here.

Hound – your title reads like the endless Laithwaite’s emails I get daily.

Black dog – our hidden Shiraz that we can’t tell you where it’s from. But a mighty 15%. Only 50 cases available 😉

Thanks Houns. You have really made me think. I am about to go round to a friend’s house this evening for usual Christmas hello. She’s a life long friend, but earlier this year her Dad suddenly died (when she was 12 weeks pregnant with her first baby). Her Mum died when she was 3. I know she and her sister are really not looking forward to Christmas, but your post has really reminded me to be sensitive to what is going to be a very difficult time for her (at least I get to meet her new daughter).

Hugs and much strength to those all fighting individual challenges.

I`m doing ok for the moment because the kids are so excited for Christmas so im looking forward to that but…

Last Christmas it was all of us together now one year later they will be spending boxing day with their mum who is engaged and pregnant while im left on my own for the whole day…

Don’t beat yourself up. Maybe this will help in some way but don’t worry about the ego shit, just listen to Eckhart’s reply about how thoughts rule us.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbj4nLOPN8o

I’m in a better place this year, thankfully, but have never been a Christmas fan – kids now a bit too old for that innocent fun and parents old enough for us to wonder if this might be their last.

Two years ago I ended up off work and on meds just after Christmas – I know what it can be like if you are suffering. Speak up on here, there is always someone listening.

In week or two the Christmas fuss will be over, the days will be getting longer, and you have a whole new year to go and write yourself a better story

Great thread op.

I thought I was doing ok until I got from work saw the future in laws car parked outside the house. Don’t get me wrong they are really nice but I’ve had a hellish couple of weeks and I just wanted to chill out for half an hour before they got here. Got in and I ended up lying in bed drinking tea and playing games on my phone for about half an hour before I went back down stairs.

They are here for Christmas and I just hope I’ll pick up a wee bit, might try and get out on the bike before Christmas Day for some relaxing me time.

When money allows

and

In the meantime, fill your xmas with films and avoid pubs and the usual haunts – chin up

Great idea for a thread, had a tough year which has now come to fruition and things have worked out.
However today is my twin sons first birthday and the MIL hasn’t even made contact to say happy birthday to them but has taken the neighbours out for lunch.
Her neighbours text and sent cards and even presents but nothing from her, its not like she’s far away.
The worst part is how upset the wife is as the boys are too young to know about it.

Actually, here’s some interesting Ted stuff, sweary, so enjoy

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwRzjFQa_Og[/video]

**** am all, look after your kids first (if you have them) then yourself…

Sarah Millican is doing something on Twitter for loneliness at Christmas for anyone who is on their own. That’s as much as I know but may be worth checking out.

It’s my first Xmas really understanding my anxiety and depression. I’m a couple of months into CBT now and it’s helping. Simple stuff like accepting my panics aren’t really and telling muself that ‘it’s happening again” when my mind starts telling me everyone hates me really.

Sounds daft, but I’ve stopped caring as much, easier said than done – I did spend 2 hours of my own time this afternoon stomping around the office after hours waiting for a courier that didn’t arrive for some kit for a job that wasn’t going to happen as planned anyway – lord knows why.

The best medicine is bikes and mates for me, I love my wife and family dearly, but it’s graft sometimes, I’ve got responsibilities like anyone else – bike and mates time I don’t have to do this or that, just ride and hang out a bit. BPW yesterday, FOD tomorrow and I’m all set for making dinner for 8 on Monday and having in laws hanging about the place.

Good luck to all my fellow mentalists – how ever tough it gets, never forget ‘this will pass’ and we’re heading towards the sun now, not away.

Thanks for this thread op. I hope you soldier on through with some positivity in tact.

Winter does not agree with my brain. This winter has been worse than any other I can remember for feeling utterly drained, flat and demotivated. Today I went for my first ride in a few weeks and feel much better for it.

Hang in there fellow seasonal sufferers.

Sincerely ,all the best to you Houns…
Hope you’ll be ok.

Btw,She’s not called Louise is she ?
😉

[/url]DSC_0894 by My Ti, on Flickr[/img]

I’m struggling today. It’s been building up for a few weeks but this evening I missed a deadline for a job application because I spent 3 weeks talking myself out of it.

We moved house earlier this year and it will be the first time ever that we are doing Christmas at our house. I know this means I should be happy but I have felt the dark cloud building.

I keep telling myself that it’s only a few more days and it will all be over for another year.

The first three months and last three months of this year have been quite tough. I really struggle with autumn and winter and feel pretty tired. We’ve had almost no respite from grey and rain since September. Sadly we lost my dad and father-in-law, and our families seem to have broken apart rather than sticking together.
On the plus side, Mr Pea has been great and I have 2 lovely sons. And my fab counsellor inspired me to take up art again.
All the best to everyone who has struggles.

A hug with Dinkles out should see you about right..
You know were we are.
And you know how to get hold of us.
Sing out buddy, it’s always a pleasure.

You know why I struggle,albeit for different reasons, and, well, can relate to kinda all of it..

Christmas 2011 was the worst time of my life, anxiety and depression took me to a very bleak place – so I know what it’s like to feel worse than absolute shit at this time of year.

I am off until 8th Jan. if anyone fancies a brew, a slow as **** cycle or a chat, I have an understanding ear and some time I can plan around my family. Based in Brum.

Checking in. Actually feeling a lot better than I often do at this time of year, and now I think about it, a lot better in general than I have done for a long time. Still not looking forward to time away from the usual things which keep me sane, and looking forward to the start of January. Though it will probably help that I have a gig on 6th Jan which will help focus the mind.

Hugs to those who really are struggling.

I’m an IT manager. Service Desk, operational support, projects, troubleshooting failing departments etc. I’m good at what I do. At least I thought I was. Last August as a result of a take over, my position was made redundant. Since then I’ve struggled to find anything. Several interviews, a few second ones but ultimately nothing. I’ve got a fantastic family (wife, daughter, son) who have been amazing and an extended family who have also been awesome. However that doesn’t take away from the fact that career wise I’m on the rocks with nothing on the horizon. I’m also now struggling to hold myself together. I don’t want hugs or advice about using the time to ride my bike. All very nice but they don’t pay the bills. Houns invited venting, so that’s what I’m doing.

I’m not going to share myself, not tonight, but hugs to everyone else.

i have had my dark times over the last 5 or so years, all through ill health. not gonna go into that.
it can and does get you down not being able to do what you want, feeling useless and old and worn out.
but, that is life.
but, people telling you it will all be ok, well i know it is meant well, but it dont help. telling you to get out and ride, when you feel like shit, it dont help.
i have always coped by doing the bloke thing, ignoring it, and just getting on with my lot, because that is what blokes are meant to do.
kids to bring up, mortgage to pay, try not to let em all see you down.
been doing it for years, just getting on with my lot.

last year, i got some shocking news from my mother. i tried to carry on like normal with that too.
but it didnt work, i seemed to crack. i couldnt hold it all in no more.
i now cry quiet a bit, which is a hard thing to say to be honest. i cry at the easiest things.
i got my sisters together who i had been alienated from by my mother. i cried more than my sisters.
it may have been post surgery blues, but i dont think it was, it was coping, and just carrying on no matter what, for all the years. i felt i was unloading all the shit.

this last week, i have buried the hatchet with a lot of people i had fallen out with.
been to see 2 mates who i have not spoken to for 30 years. just shaking their hands and putting my arms round em felt great.

i honestly feel loads better, and brighter.
no more falling out will be done by me, no more holding my feelings in, no more just being a bloke and carrying on because that is what blokes do

i seem to have found some emotions i didnt think i had……and i **** love it.

keep well houns, and try not to be a bloke.

Excellent to see so many being open, part of my role at work is to help staff to be open and talk but I ignored the warning signs on myself. It meant I exposed myself to something I might have been able to avoid, I’ve years of damage which will be hard to get over maybe never will. What I need to do is retrict future harm as much as I can by seeking help but I’m stubborn and old school so it’ll be a fight.

Talk people, to friends family collesagueas, get help if you need don’t let pride drag you down.

This week I have mostly been burying my Grandmother and splitting up with the missus.

But as long as I have youtube and a sense of humour I’m sure I’ll be reet.
[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ6kJ7GWtv0[/video]

Bloody hell sbob that’s a bit shit and so your story.

Keeping your humour helps but don’t sit alone.

But as long as I have youtube and a sense of humour I’m sure I’ll be reet.

and the STW Chat forum as a vehicle to release the anger …

Sounds bad times sbob , hope you have some family around you.

I hate this time of year. Long hours of darkness, crazy busy at work, stupid xmas spendathon everyone gets caught up in. Really bad driving, followed a drunk driver home last night. He failed to overtake a cyclist with 100m of clear road, in an S3. So we sat there at 15mph for 1/2mile waiting for the cyclist to turn off.
Trolly rage in supermarkets
Its just turd . Hardly anyone goes to church . Hardly anyone actually beleives in God .
I dont want anymore plastic landfill tat that I didnt want before the 25th December , and I certainly dont want it after the 26th.
So the whole family have to go through the motions . My mum sits there and wonders why me and my bro are still both single, never had any girlfriends , then the dysfunctional nephews will be glued to smartphones and refuse to talk to anyone over the age of 18. My sister and her husband are now teetotal so thats even more awkward.

if anyone fancies a brew, a slow as **** cycle or a chat,

I’m as slow as **** at the moment! 🙂

Its a crap time of year for many of us, and my heart goes out to all who’ve posted here to say how rough they’re finding it. From a mental health standpoint, I’m no different to many here- same issues, same blues, affected by the same troubles. In a good spot right now, largely because I seem to have learned how to pick my causes a little better.

It doesn’t help that the whole of Christmas has been nicked by the retail sector to push sales.

Not really a surprising observation, and I’m not wanting to pee on anyone’s chips here, but I said to myself and family that I’d put in a £1 for every time I saw any kind of advert over the festive season that had anything at all to do with Jesus, the original Christmas story, or anything whatsoever to do with not spending money in shops.

As of Christmas Eve-Eve, the total stands at a whopping….

£0.

If anyone’s feeling down this Christmas over this added pressure to have the ‘perfect’ occasion, remind yourselves that you’re probably a better person than you suspect precisely because you’re aware that its not what its all about.

Peace my brothers and sisters- x

Thanks all for your words, and bigger thanks to those sharing.
‘I’m actually not that bad at the moment, I think actively ignoring everything and trying to distract myself is helping. It’s a shame as normally I love Christmas and the run up to it. I’m thinking this year as a “fallow” year