I would suggest using your time constructively, ie when you feel ready, take a long look at yourself. Do you like what you see? Write down your good characteristics, bad ones too. What would you like to change?

The important thing is to like yourself and thus be comfortable. Optimism – you must make way in your new life for this.

Support – interesting this. You may receive support from unexpected quarters or you may receive no support from those whom you thought would.

I’m nearly 3 years down the line, I was the cow that left. It’s been a voyage of self-discovery … and continues to be so.

Good luck.

go away for christmas!

catflees46 – Member
Your still young, in yours twenties….

Maths not your strong point then catflees?

cinnamon_girl – Member

Seriously, stay away from women and alcohol

Now where’s that bloke that makes the t-shirts ?

sorry to hear of your break-up OP – you just need time (to realise this isn’t the end of your world)

Thanks everyone, there is a lot of good advice there, i don’t think its going to properly sink in for a few days. Just feeling numb at the moment.

I can foresee a lot of miles this winter on the bike, who knows i might enter a 24hr solo event.

richteabiscuit totally know what you mean in regards to friends, especially because a lot of the friends i have now are ones we’ve made together.

Sometimes I wonder if staying together isn’t more painful than leaving. But then I have a kid and I do believe in marital vows, silly me.

Just wanted to check in see how things are…. feel free to rant away if needs be…

Emotional roller coaster at the moment, just trying to keep busy with work, but my mind keeps wondering. I’ve planned a turbo session in front of the tele-box this evening. Thanks for asking.

I can foresee a lot of miles this winter on the bike, who knows i might enter a 24hr solo event.

Definitely the upside to bachelorhood.

A mate of mine always recommended running an audit at the end of the relationship. He quickly came to the conclusion that he would have been better off “renting” by the hour rather than trying to keep one full time.

I do promise though, that there is a point somewhere in the future where you’ll be able to look at this as a good thing, the thing that lead to something better. It just isn’t going to feel like it right now. Just keep sight of the bigger picture.

You’ve had ten years, and hopefully you’ll look back on them (in time) without regret.

For now, however, don’t just around with a bottle of booze feeling sorry for yourself. Get involved in new stuff (or do old stuff with new people). Have a skiing holiday over Christmas, or spend a bit more time with your family. Go circuit training.

Keep friendly(ish) with your ex – you may feel like shouting at the moment, but ultimately, she’s made a decision; she’s (almost certainly) not coming back, and you have to work on that basis. But there’s no point in writing off the last decade and never talking again.

And don’t just do solo stuff that allows you to brood. Not a lot of mileage in that one.

Just wondering how you was doing too. Lots of good advice above.
In the first month or so I spolit myself with loads of new clothes, aftershaves, moisturisers and had the works weekly at a barbers. I also had a little chat with a counsellor which helped me unload a lot of crap and made me realise I wasn’t a bad person at all, was the best £60 I ever spent.
Do stuff, anything.. clear out the crap from the kitchen cupboards, fix that leaky tap..

My emails in my profile, don’t hesitate to shout.

I’m single, if you want to go out with me I can send you a private message with my number, no strings.

Oh, and I like bikes too, if that makes a difference. I don’t clean them very often so am quite low maintenance and have a bit of a beard to keep you warm on those long, lonely nights. It is getting a bit cold at the moment after all.

You don’t need to sign up for Plenty of Fish, or Match, or any other dating Website. Your true love is waiting right here, before your very eyes.

x

As others have said, ouch! Not really wanting to trot out the things that you expect to be told but they are true although they don’t seem like it at the moment. Been through it a couple of times, and it can seem like you will never be happy again, no woman will ever look at you again, love you like she did. But you know what, as soon as you are ready for it (up to you to decide when that it will be) it will happen.

My tuppence worth here, don’t let things drag on too long (although it can be hard to let go to all that is familiar) – if you need to sort out house, belongings etc… do it amicably and as swiftly as you can. You will know which pace is best. But I think for you to move on you will need to get things done and be out of each others lives.

Also, if you have things to say, again being amicable (especially if there are finances/legal stuff invovled) get them said. You don’t want to be left stewing.

Always remember the good times. And the bad. Memories are good things and to be cherished.

And remember, everything is going to be alright!

After a ten-year relationship you can expect it to take a while to get over your relationship (months, maybe more). But the important thing to remember is that life is an amazing thing: look forward not back and make the most of it.