Help cheer me up. Just returned from an interview for a job that I didn’t apply for; I had applied for a job a grade below, but they contacted me last week and asked me if I’d interview for this position too. I didn’t apply for this job originally as when I scanned the job spec I knew I didn’t have the skills needed.
Anyway, I answered 1/3 of the questions “sorry, I don’t know the answer, but this is what I’d do to find that out…..” Then, at the end there was a plant identification test (job is in Horticulture) the first 10 plants I didn’t have a clue, they all looked like variant of holly 😕 😳 😆

Ah well, if I get it, it’ll be a Christmas miracle!

Tell me your disasters please

I walked in, and all the interview panel were actually all naked 😯

Seriuosly though, 2 of my bad interviews actually ended up with me getting the job. 2 other interviews I bossed, one of which was successful, the other not 🙁

got interviewed for a teaching job as the sole applicant i managed to not get selected 😳

Had a few bad ones when I was redundanted a couple of years back – worst one:
Drove 2 hrs down to Dorset, just as I arrived in the big industrial estate the rain came down like someone pouring buckets off the roof. I was a bit early, so as the rain eased, went for a quick walk. 10 mtrs from my car a van went past and washed a massive puddle over me. Even my tie was wet.
Bloke gets me from the building entrance way, I make a joke about being wet and he just “hmphs”. Then the massive arsehole interviews me by completely picking apart all my knowledge (I knew it was a bit out of date), telling me how great he is, and how he couldn’t pay me as much as his first line techies.
He finishes the interview, by this time I’m 4.7inches high, by saying he could mentor me for free for a couple of months. Yeah! 2 hours from home.
An over 50 IT bloke, just been made redundant, struggling to find work and this absolute **** just crushed me.
Apart from that, it was a worthwhile experience. (It wasn’t really).

Mate walked into a job interview once, really nervous. The interviewers put him at ease, pointed at a big vase of water with a glass behind it and offered him a drink of water. He didn’t notice the glass and picked up the vase and started glugging from it instead. When he put it down he noticed the glass and realised what a tit he’d made of himself. He didn’t get the job.

Yes had a couple of interviews after I was made redundant… Was sent to interview by an agency before with only 1/2 the job description. I basically spent 1/2 the interview going “don’t know” and eventually had to say that I had been mis-sold the job by the agency very embarrassing.

Even the job I ended up getting I was asked to do a 15 minute presentation off the cuff about business strategy and stakeholders except the “business” problem these related to: Robin Hood??! I don’t have that Job anymore

I was sat in a waiting room thinking, “do I have time to go to the loo?” just as the secretary opened the door and called my name.
I stood up and failed to stop a very loud fart escaping. Mumbling “Nerves” I left it with the other hopefuls and walked in to meet my new boss. They never miss an opportunity to remind me of that day.
🙂

Not as an interviewee but an interviewer:

Recruiting tech support staff, I’d do the techie stuff and my manager did the “soft skills” stock interview questions side. Two of the questions were “what’s your greatest strength?” followed by “what’s your greatest weakness?”

One guy we interviewed, when asked what his greatest weakness was replied that he had anger management issues and the reason he was applying for the position was because he’d just been sacked for punching out his boss…

I was put forward for a manufacturing engineering position that was heavily materials based. This was when I’d just graduated as a Mechanical Engineer and was very wet behind the ears…

Couldn’t answer any of the technical questions and you could see they felt sorry for me.

As I left I actually turned and tried to walk into a cupboard… literally like something out of a terrible comedy sketch show. Genuinely happened. I was mortified at the time!

Hilarious thinking back on it!

One guy we interviewed, when asked what his greatest weakness was replied that he had anger management issues and the reason he was applying for the position was because he’d just been sacked for punching out his boss…

I’d say his greatest weakness was his honesty

Interviewer comes out with lots of concerned questions along the lines of “you don’t mention any skills in X” “your CV doesn’t list any experience with Y or Z”.

I respond “Yes I’ve done plenty of X…”

“I can do Y Z etc etc, I tailored my CV to the job description but it never mentioned X,Y or Z”.

Interview fumbles some paperwork and awkwadly says “The job description has been re-written since the advert was published” 😯

Luckily the job actually suited me better, I got it and i’m still here.

I was interviewing for a graduate job a Sony Semiconductors. They asked me a technical question looking for a simple answer (resistance), and I went off on one about electrons and holes (it was 20 years ago, I forget most of it now).

After about 5 minutes of me stressing out giving potential different answers he put me out of my misery.

Got the job offer, didn’t take it.

I went for a job interview as a data cleanser and ended up in a very embarrassing situation
[video]https://youtu.be/e6Y2uQn_wvc[/video]

When I left school I was trying to find any job I could get and was struggling a bit as it was 2008 just after everything went tits up…

I was invited to an interview for a “marketing” company in cardiff. I had almost no money to my name and my parents were away so I used most of my cash I had to buy food until they were back buying various bus and train tickets to get to the interview which comprised of a brief presentation which made the whole thing start to seem very much like some pyramid scheme….

I was then taken out to spend the rest of the day shadowing one of their “marketing executives” which meant catching a train to Porth (the literal arsehole of the universe) and followed him round as he knocked on doors asking for money for the redcross while earning himself some commission out of the charity donations. I soon decided I didnt have the stomach for this type of work and said “sorry mate but you job is shit I dont know how you do it” and walked off…

Then after an hour trying to find my way around I bumped into him again and had to appologise for my insult so we could split a taxi back…

First proper job after uni. The person doing the interview calls a name and it sounds like mine. Here I go and for 20 minutes she interviewed the wrong person.

Crazy thing is that I knew the other guy as we had gone to same course, and being à first job there was no work history to tell about.

Health care seems to attract them…the person interviewing for a reception role admitting that they found dealing with people difficult…Another where candidate was interviewing for a community healthy living advice post, who a. had to go through the door sideways, and b. couldn’t climb 3 flights of stairs without a rest.

Went to the address listed on the company letter head. They “were” a architectural practice. Got there and the office wasn’t built.
Pretty big clue there….. keep walking.

Had some pretty dire interviews where the job had been filled and just going through the motions.

When I was younger I went to interview for an internal position/promotion. Whilst sat in reception (it was a different office building) I needed a nervous poo. So , I asked the receptionist where the toilet was and started going about my business. Once I had finished my poo and whilst still sat down I started a wee. Just as I was finishing up I noticed that somehow instead of weeing into the bowl, my stream of hot piss has been coming out of the toilet between the ceramic and the seat and dribbling nicely into my pants/suit trousers around my ankles.

Several minutes of paper mopping, and frantic hand dryer gymnastics and you couldn’t see the wet patch any more.

I didn’t get the job.

Applied for position as Program manager at IT company and interview was about C and C# code snippets and errors.
Did not get the offer and the company went bust two years later

Not bad so much but laughable. Had an interview with a recruiter only this week, ‘specialising in positions that are executive level and not advertised on job boards’.

I was suspicious the moment I got there as on the web it was very slick, in person clearly a Regus rented space. But that’s OK, maybe convenient for interviews. Nice welcome and intro, then talk me through your CV and experience, which i started doing…. and then wham.

“Let me stop you there. Your CV is rubbish, it doesn’t get across your skills and experiences at all”

“Also, your interview technique is terrible. Here at Grabit and Runn we would take your CV and rewrite it to suit you. And give you two – no for you i think we’d need three – one hour mock interview sessions to get your technique up to scratch”

“Then we’d work with you and define a personal marketing strategy for you to market yourself to potential employers, and with our help you can create a position that probably doesn’t exist at these companies currently. That’s how much they’ll want you”

Me: so are you actually recruiting for a position at the moment?

“Gah! That’s such an obvious question, didn’t you listen? No, we’ll give you the skillset to be able to create a niche opening specifically for you”

Me: And I assume you will charge me for this (which is where the by now paper thin veneer came down)

“If you sign up today to some initial consultations between now and the new year – before January when things go crazy – I can offer you a discount on our fees”

Double glazing salesmen dressed up as exec level recruiters, playing on the vulnerability of recently redundant or at risk people. Did a bit more reading and research after and they seem to charge around £3000 for their services and after that you might have a better CV and a practice at interviews, but then you still have to find your own job. But if you’ve just been told (maybe in not these exact words) by an employer that you aren’t valued any more, and walked away with a few quid in redundancy and then someone else tells you that you and your CV are shit, I can see easily why folks at a low ebb are getting fleeced by them.

Wow. What a bunch of absolute tossers. I’d be creatively looking for ways to waste their time – possibly by sending them multiple ‘rubbish’ CVs from different email addresses, filling up their appointment book then not turning up.

Applied for a part-time job at Maplin when I was a student, didn’t get it because I hadn’t memorised resistor colour codes, then got outside to find someone had nicked my lovely Stumpjumper.

Just got the thanks but no thanks call. Some good feedback though. Ah well

My stepson recently had an interview with Virgin trains to be a driver (he’s already qualified & driving for Freightliner but Virgin is more dosh)
It wasn’t so much as an interview as a sort of team excercise where a group were given a scenario in which a ship they were on had sunk & you could only save so many passengers & who would you save & why. He spent almost the entire time shaking his head at some of the shite people were coming out with & he nearly walked out half way through.
He didn’t get the job & still wonders what any of it had to do with the role.

He phoned on his way home (before he knew his result) & said he wouldn’t work for Virgin anyway even if they pleaded with him.

On the way to the interview/assessment with a couple of miles to go I crashed and wrote off my car. This made me late and to make matters worse I was driven to the site in the Police car that attended the crash.
I made an impression, but possibly not the right one.
Anyway I had 45 minutes left (from what should have been 3 hours) to complete the morning assessment, so winged my way through it.

It turned out OK as I was invited back for a second round and ended up getting the position, although not quite sure how that happened though!

The old why do you want to work here question. To finance partying and riding bikes while I’m deciding what to do with my life. Got the job wound up being a boss after a few years then chucked it in and joined the army.

I’d say his greatest weakness was his honesy

Or his lack of research into standard interview questions.

They asked me a technical question looking for a simple answer (resistance), and I went off on one about electrons and holes
…
giving potential different answers

Please tell me that was intentional.

The old why do you want to work here question.

Surely one of the most pointless interview questions ever. “Please tell us how great we are!”

I went for an interview many moons ago at Kent CC. I had a 1-to-1 interview with the head of department first who was an obnoxious arsehole. Then I was passed on to his deputy (who would be my immediate manager) for the technical stuff.

His first question was “What did you think of the HoD?” I said I thought he was a complete arsehole and I wouldn’t take the job if you offered it. He agreed with a smile and finished the interview there and then.

An agency who’s name begins with Eden Brown sent me to the wrong company once.

The old why do you want to work here question.

Surely one of the most pointless interview questions ever. “Please tell us how great we are!”

Or an opportunity to explain how your personal values align with the company, as well as that you’re capable of doing some basic homework about your potential employer.

A pretty important question really.

Just got the thanks but no thanks call. Some good feedback though

At least you got a call/email… I’ve not even had the courtesy of a thanks/no thanks message in any form from the last couple of(disastrous) interviews, the latest only last week.

Just so flipping obnoxious,..

My last couple of interviews have gone really well, I think I’m getting pretty good at them.

Apart from actually getting offered the job, that is.

A good mate of mine went for an interview with tfl, he turned up late, with his flies undone and his mobile went off half way through the interview.

He still got the job

Please tell me that was intentional.

I hope I haven’t LED you to believe I would have inducted such a thing.

I don’t have the capacitance for such puns and try to stay grounded.

I hope I have rectified your views at this junction.

I hung up on a telephone interview not so long ago. It was a kind of conference call, two sniggering “children” and a main interviewer who refused to listen to what I was saying. I got fed up an just hung up, it wasn’t very professional but neither were they.

I walked out of an interview room, to be told my car had rolled into some-one else on the car park*, they had photo’s to show me… I got the job, due to how well I handed the situation. I was then seated in the office with the lady whose car it was.. I was reminded quite often 😳

*I’d been sat in it for 10 minute pre walking in, so have no idea how it happened.

Many years ago through some recruitment agency I barely realised I’d signed up to (one of those ones that combs through replies on specialist job sites – this one was industrial synthetic chemistry) I got the offer of an interview in Technical Sales. Most chemical places have their own in-house team, if a phone call comes in saying “how do I make such-and-such a compound?” you’re supposed to be able to give them the reagents, conditions etc and then sell said reagents to them.

Turned out the interview was for a job in marketing and was totally unrelated to the job the agency had told me. Basically it just meant they got a tick of “yes, we’ve processed / got interviews for this many people”.

After 30 minutes of the interviewer trying to explain to me what the job entailed and me saying “but I don’t have a clue about marketing” we both called it a day.

To add insult to injury the agency called me a day later and said “oh sorry but you were unsuccessful in getting the job”.

So I told them exactly why that was and told them to remove my details and never try setting me up with another job ever again. My loathing and contempt for recruitment agencies continues to this day.

I had a great telephone interview for a job in new zealand a long time ago (no videoconferencing for starters). They were all in a room together which appeared to be right under an airport flight path so every few mins we had to stop while one took off, and I could vaguely hear they were all chatting in the background throughout the interview without being able to hear what they were saying which was a bit off-putting. Needless to say it didn’t go well, and eventually one of them asked me “what made you even think you were capable of doing this job?” to which I replied “well you must have thought so too or you wouldn’t have bothered interviewing me”. Can you guess if I got it?

There was another one – not an interview though – where a full year after applying for a job in Chile (and hearing nothing back) I got asked if I was still interested. And yet another in the USA when, after sending off my application and having had references taken up from my then boss who didn’t yet know I was thinking of leaving, I was told that the position had already been filled. This all took place prior to the closing date on the advert.

One of the oddest interviews however was in Japan. They flew me over even though it was a fairly junior post, being ridiculously flush with money at the time. After firing off a succession of mostly technical questions, they told me the interview was terminated and I could go. I said “don’t I get to ask any questions then?” and they basically said no and ushered me out of the room. A couple of months later I got a terse letter telling me my start date would be the 1st April (which was by then only a couple of weeks away). No joke.

i asked about flexible working they said “no its 9-5 in the office and any extra time needed to complete your work, overtime was not payable”.

i then asked do i get my time back for working long month ends..

at that point i decided i wasnt interested so went on the offendsive.

i went for another job interview a week later,
it was going really well until i asked about holidays..

20, i said is that it…