rocket jr (16) has expressed a desire for a slammed 4x bike to ride around town on and go to school. He has been through the bmx phase (abandoned literally overnight when he became ‘too tall’) and the DJ phase (too difficult, no DJs nearby)

Financially a 4x bike wouldn’t be too much of a burden – it would only require a frame I have more than enough bits and would build it myself – but I have visions of it lying unused and unloved in the shed, just like his bmx and dj bikes did

Would appreciate some parenting advice – do I deny jr this ‘opportunity’ or indulge him 😕

16 is a tricky age some of his peers have mopeds/scooters, 3D TVs and everything in the Apple store I feel to some extent that this is his way of ‘keeping up with the Joneses’

Has he expressed any interest in using it properly – like at a 4X/BMX track? Any interest in racing?

I’d get him an old shopper – if he doesn’t like it…. he can walk into town.

Has he expressed any interest in using it properly – like at a 4X/BMX track? Any interest in racing?

Nope none at all – although there’s the possibility that it would be an opportunity to do exactly that, hence my dilemma

In my experience (three boys) they will ride anything available if they want to ride. A half decent jump bike has plenty of street cred with the ‘kidz’ so that’s not why he’s not riding it.

How about buying the frame but getting him to build it up with as little help a possible from you. That way, if he wants to ride it, he’ll have a personal investment so may use it more or look after it better.

DJ and 4x bikes would cover similar ground i reckon so if he didn’t use the dj then i would think a 4x wouldn’t get much use either..

How about buying the frame but getting him to build it up with as little help a possible from you. That way, if he wants to ride it, he’ll have a personal investment so may use it more or look after it better.

To his credit he helped me modify/build both his bmxs and has also fitted a number of my cast-offs onto his dj bike, but a bit like Lego he gets more enjoyment out of building than actually using.

I’m unsure whether 16 is old enough to see a genuine change in attitude

DJ and 4x bikes would cover similar ground i reckon so if he didn’t use the dj then i would think a 4x wouldn’t get much use either..

I know that and you know that but in the eyes of a 16 year old a 4x race bike to go to school on is something none of his mates have 🙂

It’s really hard work unpicking the thought processes of a teenager

At 16 they are old enough to learn nothing is free, tell them they can have a 4x frame when they can afford it & see if they still really want one

he gets more enjoyment out of building than actually using.

And your saying the fact he enjoys building is negative? Its certainly a positive. Hes out the house, off the computer and on the spanners. Maybe the only reason he hasnt had massive use out of the other bikes is that his friends arn’t riding theirs?

We know ourselves that riding alone isn’t particularly motivating and at that age the prospect is tenfold.

Take the opportunity to get him playing with the bike even if its just helping you fix yours from time to time. Its never ever ever a bad thing for life. The only reason i have my job today was through my old man giving me ‘work experience’ in the garage on the grass track cars(yes he was like a boss, I got away with f’ all!).

And your saying the fact he enjoys building is negative?

Not at all. Just pointing out his previous track record with bikes.

I wouldn’t hesitate to indulge him if I thought he might actually use it

sorry, can you define the difference between his idea of a slammed 4X bike and the current DJ bike.

or anyone, ive no experience of either really.

26″ wheels, short travel, stiff fork, hardtail, slopy top tube, saddle pointing to the sky……..

26″ wheels, short travel, stiff fork, hardtail, slopy top tube, saddle pointing to the sky……..

Pretty much that except he knows enough about the two to know that the stiffer frame, slacker head angle and longer chainstays on a 4x race bike make it better than a stupid dj bike 🙂

having re-read the thread, are you sure you are not trying to re-live your youth through your kid?

it seems you have taught him that he can easily manipulate you if its something you like, i.e. bikes.

give him another year it will be an ironic tash and a nobrakes fixie.

meh, do it, but with agreement that he sells the bmx and dj to help fund the next project.

Would make a change to see a young chap on a 4X bike rather the “wasp in a kettle” brigade who ride around pretending to change gear all day long

meh, do it, but with agreement that he sells the bmx and dj to help fund the next project.

This.

having re-read the thread, are you sure you are not trying to re-live your youth through your kid?

Not intentionally although it’s true bikes and riding are part of the family. I would’ve loved a killer MTB when I was 16 but my parents couldn’t afford it. I can now and I don’t want jr to be a spoiled brat but equally so I’m trying to figure out if this is something he actually wants rather than just a whim. Probably over-analysing it but it’s good to hear other people’s opinions.

…agreement that he sells the bmx and dj to help fund the next project.

bmx #1 was sold to one of his mates to fund bmx #2 which was sold to another mate to fund dj #1 which will be the donor bike for the 4x bike

My eldest wanted the same, so I went halves with him on a CRC sale frame and he built it up with spares and bits off his old bike. He’s ridden it a fair bit, including a couple of weeks at Glentress – and its an SS.

My parents were never tight with us, and I’m not tight with my kids.

Not my house btw

Why not get him the bike and then organize trips for the two of you to go to a 4x or even BMX track. You should ride with him and not be a taxi, even if you think your skills arn’t upto much. Of course you will need a suitable bike too but if you ride 4x with him he will see you as cool. I would love it if my Dad had ever showed any interest in what I wanted to do, he still doesn’t.

Thanks for that i_ache some food for thought there.

For what its worth (only just found this) here is my take on this.
I have a 17 yr lad that got into mountain biking about 2 years ago now.

He now has 2 bikes a 29er hard tail and a full sus both of which we have built together – something initialy new to both of us.
To fund this we have let him use what savings he has and I have assisted in the pruchases here and there, but not excessively; its a tricky balance between wanting to enourage an interest/pursuit and not spoil – this period of time only cones around once you can’t repeat.
He has also funded alot of bike improvements by selling on ebay including his PSP – result! Though suspect the PS3 will never be sacrificed.

I am a keen mountain walker and have had a mountain bike of sorts for years …. like 25 (Kona Cider Cone no suspension lovely speckled paint job). I have also invested in a decent bike and upgraded it – mainly to keep up and be safe.

Together we have been to many trail centres including in the last 2 summers 4 week long trips up to Scotland where possible taking a friend. I have also tried to get him to into some longer XC routes e.g Gap over the Beacons.

I think the main points here are to get them into bike maintenance & building – gives skills, knowledge, confidence. Does not have to be expensive, 100s not 1000s required. If they want to spend more …. get a job. Helps if they have a mate or club they can use – going with dad is last resort and I can’t keep up now especially as he appears to be moving from red to black routes now.

Going back to original thread point which is perhaps if to assist/spend on something that may just be the latest thing, you can only judge that yourselve, but guess I would go for encourage with reserve. At the end of the day we want to get them off that console and outside!