Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 56 total)
  • talking to babies…
  • jaffejoffer
    Free Member

    without looking and sounding like a total weapon!?

    apparently i dont show enough interest in the wifes little nieces and nephews.

    mrsgrips
    Free Member

    yook at the ickle baby toes… aren’t they the sweetest?
    …and other such stuff

    no really, how old? what sort of interest is she expecting? has she given you any guidance?

    toppers3933
    Free Member

    get your s@*t together then sunshine. oohchycoochycoo!! 😀

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    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    Speak Esperanto to them. It’s the future

    Stoner
    Free Member

    Until it’s 3 or 4 and picked up the odd swear word, babies can be fairly tedious when they’re your own, let alone when they’re someone else’s genetic ball of spit and poo.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    Enough interest for what?

    PS the wife’s nieces and nephews are also YOUR nieces and nephews 🙂

    CaptainFlashheart
    Free Member

    Stoner, a wise man once said that childrn are like farts.

    Your own are a source of endless pride and laughter. Those of others are vile.

    Simon_Semtex
    Free Member

    “in the wifes little nieces and nephews”???

    That make you their uncle then?? MTFU. Get on with it.

    mrsgrips
    Free Member

    Ha! apparently you guys don’t watch 1 and 2 year old enough, they are full of wonder and do the most hilarious things too…or maybe the kids you’ve been looking at are ‘ahem’ not too bright???

    molgrips
    Free Member

    UTFU surely?

    Jamie
    Free Member

    Ha! apparently you guys don’t watch 1 and 2 year old enough, they are full of wonder and do the most hilarious things too…or maybe the kids you’ve been looking at are ‘ahem’ not too bright???

    *mind blown*

    toppers3933
    Free Member

    thats a fair point, you seem to be over looking the fact that theyre now your nieces and nephews.

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    they are full of wonder and do the most hilarious things too

    It is just possible that you’re, ahem, not too bright 😉

    Jamie
    Free Member

    It is just possible that you’re ahem, not too bright

    *shakes car keys at mrsgrips*

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    She wants to see you as capable of fathering her children ..if you do not see this as your future carry on and perhaps get worse. if you do sort it out copy her or other males with children

    monksie
    Free Member

    “has she given you any guidance?” – You what?

    Tell her you’re not showing any interest in talking to babies because (presumably) you’re not interested in talking to babies.

    What the hell is wrong with some people? Talking to babies? I bet that’s a right laugh….or not.

    Simon_Semtex
    Free Member

    Yeah, fair play. Other peoples kids are all weird.

    Got to go. “THE” wife has just done an amazing guff and I got to change rooms.

    Good luck with finding your way with being and uncle.

    mrsgrips
    Free Member

    Well my nieces nephews and own child have been (are) truly adorable at 1 and 2…using/learning language (sometimes even telling stories), learning how to walk and jump and run and the overly dramatic faces when they get something right or wrong. It’s fantastic.
    Granted when their language skills (at 3 or so) get good enough that they start talking about bodily functions I can understand that they’re at you guys level and you would find that more amusing, but you know, after a year (if they’re girls) they move beyond that…

    samuri
    Free Member

    Get them mixed up on purpose. And invent new names for them. Call one of them florence (Assuming it’s name isn’t florence).

    And just talk normal to them, ask them if they saw the match last night.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    Yeah, I must keep my camera on hand to grab a pic of Lil Grips hands-on-hips disgruntled expression. It’s bloody funny.

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    It will wear you down over the next few decades

    cheez0
    Free Member

    Simon Semtex
    Got to go. “THE” wife has just done an amazing guff and I got to change rooms

    Lol@ Mrs_Semtex’s apt name!

    jaffejoffer
    Free Member

    yeah my nieces and nephews! just wanna be able to pick them up and play with them for a bit, interact – but i cant be doing all this oohchycoochycoo business.

    mrsgrips
    Free Member

    Seriously tho, what age because it makes a difference.
    less than one- walk them around, bounce them lightly, talk about everything and anything (including the game yes) if they gurgle pretend the responded to something you said and acknowledge them by saying their name and smiling and asking them to tell you more or asking them a question and wait half a moment to ‘let them respond’
    1- help them walk or crawl, roll balls to them, point out animals and moving oblects like cars, trains, airplanes, bugs, name objects and colors, read simple books, tip them upside down while sitting on your lap, build towers. Use ‘command language’ i.e. simple phrases, but talk ‘normal’ otherwise
    2- throw balls, kick balls, point out more advanced things (especially vehicles) wrestling play is usually liked, also things like horsey, airplane, build towers and knock them down, build them again. Use simple sentences when giving commands but talk normal and repeat phrases using ‘their’ vocab if you know what it is
    3- more wrestling play, chasing games, kicking and throwing and batting balls, playing with trains (building tracks), puzzles. Just talk normal and repeat things as you need to or say it in a slightly different way if they say they don’t understand or look confused.

    molgrips
    Free Member

    Wrestling play:

    mrsgrips
    Free Member

    Yeah Mol knows…that wrestling play is good..but some parents frown at the makeup wearing so ask first abt that bit…

    jaffejoffer
    Free Member

    cheers. that really helps. im talking various ages but its the one under 1yr that i struggle with.

    mrsgrips
    Free Member

    Under ones are seriously the easiest I would say as they expect very little… talk a lot (as language is developing) and don’t use the icklebickle coochycoo language people tend to use as it doesn’t help them. However, you can ‘repeat’ what they say (so if they squeal try repeating it) – this helps them learn that people copy each other to learn. And like I said, as crazy as you might feel, talk to them like you would talk to an adult. If they’re being vocal then pretend that they’re really talking to you and say ‘oh yeah I know… x really is a good striker’ or some such.
    If you want to really get into things playing games where you’re touching their right hand to their left foot while counting (or reciting types of bike forks) or any words, is actually really good for them developmentally (using the hands and feet on different halves of their bodies creates ‘crossing paths’ in their brain linking the two sides together).
    The more often you do it the easier and more natural it becomes (obviously) and if people look at you funny just smile and make a joke about it (or make a joke to the baby abt it… ‘see they just think you’re not intelligent/don’t know anything about football but we know better don’t we? You’re going to be the next…)

    brooess
    Free Member

    Does depend on age, and whether boys or girls IME.
    Babies, you can’t have much of a conversation with so you just have to do the coochy coo thing and make sure you tell the parents how adorable their baby is… offer to feed and look after if they’re bawling and give the parents a rest. I draw the line at nappies tho’!
    Age 3-4 when you can hold a conversation (of sorts), personally I talk to them as an equal about things they think and know about or read them a story or watch TV with them. And general messing about. My godsons love being held upside down by their feet, or playing football or just general running about and playing. (I use them as my excuse not to grow up too much just yet!)
    Basically you’re a bloke, we never grow up so just play around with them like you know you really want to 🙂
    Girls, same kind of thing I guess, just chat to them about things they’re interested in…

    kimbers
    Full Member

    just speak to them softly and earnestly about whatever is in your head
    im telling my 6mth old star wars at bedtime

    quite often i tell him about what upgrades ive made to my bikes

    he looks happy whatever i say

    BoardinBob
    Full Member

    without looking and sounding like a total weapon!?

    😆

    One of my favourite phrases

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    Explain to your wife that you simply don’t ‘get’ talking to a <1 yr old. If you display interest in the older children then surely she will understand.

    monksie
    Free Member

    Or just ignore them completely, grateful in the knowledge they don’t belong to you, that they will soon be taken away and go and do something you’d like to do instead?

    deadlydarcy
    Free Member

    Just be careful of gender stereotypes.

    CharlieMungus
    Free Member

    Speak to them like people, not baby talk. lot’s of repetition and use a higher voice than normal.

    Northwind
    Full Member

    CharlieMungus – Member

    Speak to them like people, not baby talk. lot’s of repetition and use a higher voice than normal.

    That’s foreigners, not babies.

    Russell96
    Full Member

    Don’t stick them in front of the TV watching the family guy, no matter how much they love it, they will pick up words that will get you in trouble. But at least now I’m right at the bottom of the emergency babysitter list.

    muppetWrangler
    Free Member

    Yep, expecting to be interested in peoples babies is one of life’s more tedious bits. The only thing duller than being expected to be interested in somebody else’s baby is when they get to an age where the parent talks through the child.

    Bumps into parent and child in the street:
    Me: “Hi, how are you?”
    Parent: “We are fine. we are off to the shops. Aren’t we [insert child’s name]”
    Child: ……….
    Me: ……….
    Parent: ……….
    Awkward silence
    Me: “Thats nice, got to go. Bye. Bye [insert child’s name]” Goes to walk off
    Parent: “[inserts child’s name] Say goodbye to muppetWrangler”
    Child: ………
    Me: “Bye [insert childs name]
    Child ………
    Parent: “Say goodbye”
    Child ……….
    More awkward silence, and shuffling of feet.

    Now once they get to an age where they do stuff and talk about things inquisitively and go off on weird tangents I’ll keep them amused for hours. From experience of friends kids this seems to be about 4 years of age. Mate’s little girl was making models of the milky way out of pipe cleaners the other day and in a strange reverse that was a far more interesting than the grown up conversation about mortgages or cooking or some other dull shit that was going on.

    Hairychested
    Free Member

    Bumps into parent and child in the street:
    Me: “Hi, how are you?”
    Parent: “We are fine. we are off to the shops. Aren’t we [insert child’s name]”
    Child: ……….
    Me: ……….
    Parent: ……….
    Awkward silence
    Me: “Thats nice, got to go. Bye. Bye [insert child’s name]” Goes to walk off
    Parent: “[inserts child’s name] Say goodbye to muppetWrangler”
    Child: ………
    Me: “Bye [insert childs name]
    Child ………
    Parent: “Say goodbye”
    Child ……….
    More awkward silence, and shuffling of feet.

    Swear-filter avoidance?

    muppetWrangler
    Free Member

    Swear-filter avoidance?

    Good point, maybe the wee child can sense my antipathy and is doing the mature thing of saying nothing if you can’t say something nice.

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 56 total)

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