Out walking the dog this evening, I stopped to harvest her eggs and a lone youth on the other side of the road – so not even showing off in front of friends – piped up, “Hur hur, picking up dogshit, you bellend.”

Aye, right. The thing is, I’m a bellend with a bag full of dogshit, who’s now going to chase you up the street and launch it at your head.

I know it’s traditional that, as you get older, you question the wisdom of younger generations, but tonight’s incident really make me wonder.

my dog doesn’t shit enough that I can throw some shit at all the stupid people in the world so I generally just ignore them instead.

Did you hit or miss?

You could’ve said, ‘you’ll be picking it off your face if you don’t wind your neck in sunshine’.

Dogshit ****

bloody swear filter. think inbetweeners…

Blimey, chill out.

*chucks dog plops at Al*

If there’s two things I can’t bloody stand It’s normal kids & lippy kids.

There are zombie maggots all over the place so not a surprise.

Kids are a never ending source of hilarity

Cycling back to the house along a path and there’s a couple of kids running all good the path towards me, the smallest one shouts at me “hey mister, you’re a big jobby” at the top of his voice.

He got a high five and I laughed the rest of the way home

I was verbally abused by a Scrote a while back, I responded by telling that he’d grow up when he lost his virginity.

He told me he had “to her” pointing as a shocked looking girl

“Spurting on the poor girls leg doesn’t count lad”

The rest of his gang rolled about laughing at him and my witty retort. 😀

I confronted yoofs in hoodies who threw a large stone at my dog. What shocked me was a lad stepped forward and said it was him and apologised.

I walked off flapping my mouth silently like a goldfish.

It’s hard to look cool when you’re scoopin’ da poopin’. We’ve changed our dog’s food lately and her poops are pretty special now. When you go lift them they turn to dust and blow away in the wind – a bit like when Blade dispenses a vampire. Only he uses a sword and not a little plastic bag.

Here’s a pic of me trying to bag one of her special presents. Pretty cool huh? and sure to impress the local yoof.

A while back I’d been for a bimble and was riding through a local park on the way home. 3 yoofs sat on a park bench, one of them loudly clears his nose into his mouth ready to spit as I’m approaching.

“Don’t even think about it” I piped up. His mate, who was sat on the back of the bench with his feet on the seat, fell off laughing so hard when his mate with the mouth full of snot started choking.

I nearly fell off laughing well.

Yonks ago, running in the park I passed three junior losers sat on a bench. One said ‘Wotcha doin that for?’ I replied ‘Because it puts lead in your pencil’. He went ‘duuur’, and his mates laughed at him.

TBF, having to pick up a dog’s shit off the street is a fairly humiliating activity – it’s just also quite a common one.

Not common enough.

Aye, right. The thing is, I’m a bellend with a bag full of dogshit, who’s now going to chase you up the street and launch it at your head.

Yes, but you didn’t though did you ?

You probably didn’t do anything

So he’s actually picking his battles quite well isn’t he 😉

You probably didn’t do anything

Waddayaman?! He posted on STW! That’s revenge enough, surely…

In Stafford (which I realise was the problem) i had a lad that could only have been about 12 try and mug me and my lady friend. Did he want out phones? Money? Nope…. He wanted our big macs!

Never have I laughed so hard.

a lad trying to impress his mates, yelled “Nice Legs” at me as I rode past, he didn’t like the “Wow! being Hit on by the only Gay in the village” response.

Klunk – Member
a lad trying to impress his mates, yelled “Nice Legs” at me as I rode past, he didn’t like the “Wow! being Hit on by the only Gay in the village” response.

😆

I was framebuilding in my old shop, when a lad ran in with a kitchen knife – just as I was sparking up the oxyacetylene torch. He took one look, and ran straight out again 😉

I rode by a couple of gypsie kids (common enough round errr) one had his arm around a rather fetching girlie gypsie. As I approached, he said. “Can I have a go on your bike mate. To which I replied. Sure, if I can have a go on your girlfriend while you’re gone. He wasn’t as amused as I was.

Not common enough.

Here, Here.

and the ones who pick it up then throw it in a tree 🙁