Bloody hell Tang that sounds tough. Speaking as someone who doesn’t have ed in his family but very much does this (<18’s though) for a day job. As someone that works in a children’s service that is too small to run a viable ‘day patient’ program I am impressed she is getting that plus individual therapy -hopefully they should also therefore be a large enough service to have worked out the best therapeutic model for her rather than just firing the same one at every patient because that’s all they do. CBT is very much NICE- approved for both anorexia and bulimia in 18’s and over by the way.
I am guessing your local service has pointed you to a Beat parents/carers group already. They may also run one themselves.
Beat have a forum of sorts (more of a live chat which is heavily moderated I think) through their website too which I suppose puts you in contact with parents all over uk. Like this one: Dads peer support group
My day job is hard and complex but at least I get to go home at 5 (well, 5.30, 6,30 etc…) – I know that the mum/dad part of treatment and recovery is way way harder.
So big respect for being part of this. There will be dads that have found it pretty straightforward and others that are completely destroyed by the experience, YMMV and all that.
but I suppose the best advice that the dads I see in family therapy would give you is not to let the illness come between your daughter and you, or you and her mum, (or you and her therapist!!) -you still have a daughter in there, but you will probably all need to do things a bit differently for a while. Bestest wishes! J.