Thanks stevet and Anthony.
Yes, i’m OK at the moment. Had a few chats recently and a friend’s helping me out as well with work issues that aren’t necessarily the root of it, but don’t help.
The doc’s categorised my problem as ‘catastrophising’ – which is spot on, i have a terrible fear that something bad’s going to happen and I won’t cope. Some might, some might not (eg: post brexit recessions and impact on job security or indeed, as part of the problem is trying to get a new one I’ve already seen a slow down in hiring), some definitely will (both my parents are elderly and of course one day i’ll get THAT call and I don’t know how i’ll manage that). So it helps to know what the problem is, but I can’t get to that position where you accept that some matters are out of your hands and therefore not worth worrying about until they do or don’t occur.
I have lots of good things going on as well – ride with a good group, kids are all healthy and doing well at school and sports, good and loving wife, etc. But there’s always a potential black cloud coming…….
Hence why I’d be ‘happier’ to not be here at all and swap the good stuff to avoid the bad – but I can’t not be here without catastrophically **** up the good stuff too. Hence why the ‘reset’ button analogy is so tempting, but in reality you just have to struggle on.