In recent years I’ve become really fed up with the bad language that seems to get thrown in my direction.
I’m quite small and don’t look like I could hit a fly, so maybe an easy target.
We used to live in a house with a large front garden and the local youths would use the fence at the bottom of our garden as a short cut. Even when I was there gardening and asked them to get off our front lawn and keep off the fence, they took no notice and hurled loads of swear words at me, carrying and laughing with no respect for our property.
Over the years of commuting by bike,I’ve been called every word under the sun. On one occaision I reported one driver to the police, luckily I had witnesses who couldn’t believe the way I was spoken to while trying to ride my bike.
Then tonight we were driving up a steep lane, when down comes a large car, at the brow of the hill instead of waiting for me and the other car to just go a few more metres it carries on towards me. Stalemate,
the car behind decides to back down the hill, and so do I, as the driver coming towards tries to pass he stops dead ‘cos he’s hit my wing mirror. I politely say that we have right of way, to which the gobby gf tells me they have a baby on board and he tells me he doesn’t want to scrape his wheels and that I should ‘F’ off.
These are just a few examples, but I feel that the guys I ride or drive with don’t get spoken to like this and tonight just put me in a bad mood.

Probably I’m too sensitive and have been well brought up.
So Ladies do you feel singled out?
Or should I just wtfu?

I comiserate with the way you feel, why the hell should folk put up with this sort of crap

Guess you feel its time to go as do I. Thats why I have bought a place in france

Wtfu na be yourself

Me I have mtfu and i is off

Is it the bad language per se, or the aggressive attitude? I would feel threatened by someone shouting at me regardless of whether they were swearing tbh.

Swearing doesn’t bother me as I’m a regular potty mouth myself.

I’m not a lady – I’m male and over 6 foot tall. But I entirely agree with your comment : “I feel that the guys I ride or drive with don’t get spoken to like this”.

And no, in my opinion you’re not being ‘too sensitive’ ……. no one should be spoken to like that.

I won’t deny that I use foul language a lot, but tend to keep it whilst talking to mates and try to show respect to strangers.

Having said that, the world is full of ignorant feckers – just be grateful that they are not part of your daily life and that you don’t have to form relationships with them.

imho

JoJo I’m guessing you don’t go around just spouting off to strangers though.

Did have abit of a laugh later when walking up an unadopted bumpy lane, a large car ( the same make as the other) was so close to me trying to get into his country residence electric gates, that he almost took the heel off my walking boot off. mmm These townies that live in the countryside eh!

try not to get to wound up , i swear loads , i dont swear at people tho , if i do it means there will be a breach of the peace, its just me, remeber they are only words.having said that mrs scraprider gave the bird to a guy and called him a w****r as he cut her up when in the car last weekend i did laff.

Intimidation. Makes them feel powerful. People don’t challenge this behaviour.

I don’t have any answers unfortunately Bunnyhop. I just try and turn things round but often that doesn’t work.

Bad language is a funny one. It goes with the mtb territory. But I will not accept it from my (adult) kids.

I can’t really say I’ve noticed it tbh but I can totally understand how intimidating it must be. Like JoJo said, for me it would be the attitude not the language, I’m quite liberal in my use of the f word 😆

Bunnyhop

If it makes you feel any better, for the first time in my life I had not just the f word hurled at me but the c word too and it upset me quite a bit.

Here’s my daily photo with interactive notes to help explain the whole shebang. It’s one of those situations that needs a photo otherwise it’s all a bit complicated explaining why this abuse was hurled my way.

Hope you’re ok now

http://www.flickr.com/photos/simonralli/3517477163/in/pool-onephotoeveryday

I’m a bloke and get this all the time too.

I’ve noticed that it got worse if I was in my wife’s old car, (Almera). I would get cut up a lot more, people would treat me a lot worse on the road.

The world is full of idiots, either take them on or WTFU.

Completely agree with you BH, I’m not sure if it’s a female thing or what, as it doesn’t seem to happen when I’m with a guy (in a car or on a bike)

But it does drive me mad.

As you say probably a result of being brought up well, and expecting the same from those around you.

Don’t let the barstewards get you down.

I think you have a bit of a problem with this kind of behaviour here in UK. Havent lived anywhere else but here and South Africa but I know for a fact that this type of behaviour is worse over here. Younger people over here have NO respect for elders (and themselves).

My wife, how is only 5 foot 1 was driving our car down our road, which has parked cars on one side. A twunt in a evo comes flying up the other way and doesn’t give way to her so she beeped her horn to which he shouted out that if she did that again he would come over and kick her and our kids heads in (they were 5 and 1 at the time). This incident really shock her up but we couldn’t report it as she only got the type of car but i really want to meet him and ask what sort of big man threaten a small women and children.

Thats why I have bought a place in france

A famously polite country 🙂

Younger people over here have NO respect for elders (and themselves).

Sputnik hits the nail on the head (mostly!) Some young people do not have any respect for themselves at all, which filters through to the way they treat others. Also as far as young people go – and referencing the OP – they will often try to shock because they just want a reaction and they don’t care if it’s a bad one. So the best way of dealing with this is just to ignore/diffuse although this is not always easy. Try not to give the reaction they want.

The rudest anyone’s been to me recently when I was on my bike was a middle aged woman in a Clio. And that was a 95% off road ride. Really shook me up and made me feel like ditching cycling.

I put those events down to ‘machete moments’ i.e. if I had a machete…

yes it is worse (even for blokes) I had some woman ranting at me last week (apparently I was to sacrifice myself to the traffic so she could get home 1 minute early) in front of her mother and young kids.

roll on the revolution sister 😉

rich had a guy shouting and swearing at him last weekend. We were out on the road bikes and the guy nearly got hit because he started crossing the road without looking. But apparently that was Rich’s fault and he was an fing w@ankr etc etc etc. nice.

Just guys in their cars..
I recently came across a car waiting at a small T junction. He was just sitting there fiddling with something like the radio, so I thought it would be safe to cross the road in front of him, after all, he could see me perfectly clearly.

My mistake: as soon as I walk in front of the car, he revs his engine and drives towards me to get me out of the way. I don’t take too kindly to such a threatening manner, and I deliberately slow down.

I make it onto the other side of the pavement, and he comes up alongside me, we exchange a few words – he spits in my face!
I was just in shock, didn’t bother getting his licence plate, etc. but I just couldn’t believe that people act like that.

Oh, and yes, I’ve noticed being a woman in a woman’s car does seem to invite more drivers to cut me off, pull out in front of me, take advantage of the fact that I’ve left a safe distance between myself and the car in front etc.

Having said that, it was even worse when I had P-plates on!

i bet yer not as samll as me….. *5ft) us small people are alittle vunerable at times, we seem to get looked down at for some strange reason, but over the years ive learnt to get an ‘armadillo shell’ and become tough with my innerself ! you have to be ‘strong’ and keep up a ‘front’ otherwise people will tread all over you…
when god handed out tall people he left some of us behind ! but dont forget little things come in great packages.. be strong and ignore ‘ranting idiots’ (thats their fault for being in that state of mind ! send em to the ‘DOG Whispering’…he rehabilitates people too !!! lol

I find that bikes are almost the inverse of cars.

People in cars feel protected and invunerable, so will never get out i an argument (unless its propper road rage) but will happily shout the odds at you from behind the wheel.

Bikes seem to have the opposite effect. Your an easy target untill you park up your bike infront of them (in trafic so if they run it over they’ll only be 10m ahead of you), get off and walk round to the window for a ‘chat’.

Same works for pedestrians,

Ohh and anything unimaginative involving the F, C and W words can be renederd childish once you’ve been tought to swear by a french girl who’s spent time in italy. No tirade is complete without at least references to donkeys, their dead grandmother, and at least three seperate references to how the above or the recipient of the rant lost their anal viginity.

On a run a couple of years ago (my younger fitter days) our typical session was a 10 mile run which got progressivly faster after the first 10 minutes. The last few miles ended up flat out and we all raced each other to the finish.
I happened to be leading the group and was crossing a road. White van man accelerated towards the junction forcing me to stop and jump out of the way, then stopped to let me go. I started but he thought it was funny to edge forward almost hitting me. Him and his mate let rip with a stream of expletives etc out of the window however it became less funny when 10 runners came around the corner! they quickly caught on what was happening and the guy couldnt drive off quick enough. With a few more dents in his van!
How we laughed!

but dont forget little things come in great packages..

Elaine ann, I know a fairly short guy who said to me, don’t forget that the most powerful processors are also the smallest.

I thought that was funny, but didn’t have a response, being a bit tall myself. QED.

I dont think this is a woman thing, it’s a personality thing/size thing. I know a couple of blokes who are quite womanly in their attitudes and fairly slender and nervous looking, both of whome regularly get abused by people because they appear not to want to stand up for themselves. I don’t remember the last time someone stood up to me, either in a car or on the bike, but I still occasionally get abuse hurled from a passing car of 5 17 year old lads.

While driving my nice daily driver D estate I get cut up and pushed around a bit, that never happens in my fast car, but I think that’s partially because in the fast car I drive more “positively” myself, the slow lumbering diesel encourages a laid-back attitude and requires plenty of space between cars to stop etc. When I drove a 4×4 a lot people would do the opposite and keep WELL out of the way and were a LOT more polite, ALL the time, this is part of the appeal of them.

So I dont think its a lady thing, being abused in such circumstances, it’s how you handle it yourself. If you go into a discussion/conversation such as the OPs meeting of cars, the way you enter the conversation sets the outcome. If you go in with a hint of weakness you will lose, you have to go in positively and slightly aggressively if you’re going to engage at all. Sometimes there will be someone even more aggressive, and you lose in that case, but otherwise you’ll come out on top. It’s part of the reason the roads are an agressive and mildly scary place to be.

don’t forget that the most powerful processors are also the smallest.

Eh? Not sure that’s quite right!

When I drove a 4×4 a lot people would do the opposite and keep WELL out of the way and were a LOT more polite, ALL the time, this is part of the appeal of them.

I dont. In my experience they tend to be driven by bullying and aggresive people (my own sample of course) I dislike them due to my mainly negative experiences.
I even give them less room on the road when I am driving.

We used to live in a house with a large front garden and the local youths would use the fence at the bottom of our garden as a short cut. Even when I was there gardening and asked them to get off our front lawn and keep off the fence, they took no notice and hurled loads of swear words at me, carrying and laughing with no respect for our property.

I don’t think that’s anything personal. My Dad looks like a silverback gorilla, and even when smiling it looks like he is going to punch your face in.
Yet people of all ages are quite happy to let their dogs shit in his garden and take a shortcut across his lawn even when he’s out there.

Eh? Not sure that’s quite right

Oh good! Now I feel better. (sorry elaine ann….)

I dont. In my experience they tend to be driven by bullying and aggresive people (my own sample of course) I dislike them due to my mainly negative experiences.
I even give them less room on the road when I am driving.

You’re totally outside both mine and my mothers experience though, the absolute vast majority of people are a lot more pleased when you wait and let people past (which is easier than stop-start/squeeze when driving a big heavy vehicle, but some people try to drive them like cars) and are more likely to let you continue through without trying to squeeze down gaps.

I find people who judge how to behave around you based on your car choice extremely irritating, there’s no reason to assume a 4×4 owner is going to be a bad/inconsiderate driver. Going by your thinking I would hate just about every vehicle driver on the road as I’ve had bad experiences with all of them!

retro and bunnyhop, you guys must live in an area with some really scummy people. We have OCCASIONALLY had kids walk on our lawn when we were down the path, usually just messing about pushing each other, a few quiet but meaningful words and they apologise and never come back. It’s either a sign of the times or a sign of where you live. Maybe time to move?

Is it so wrong to carry some brake fluid in a drinks bottle on your bike, give their car a squirt if you’re getting some hassle? I know it seems as though you’re lowering yourself to their level… but if I commuted more, it would either be a D lock/big chain around my shoulder/neck, and a bottle of brake fluid… however, i’m 6’2″ and not exactly what you’d call a shrinking violet. (nor am I anything near aggressive as a person!)

I’ve been knocked off more times when commuting than I got abuse, but as they’ve been so shook up by the whole incident, a little word in their lug-hole seemed to work.

I’m in sheffield, and haven’t really met much in terms of your horror when I was commuting, not sure if i’m just me or here?

Jonathan

s it so wrong to carry some brake fluid in a drinks bottle on your bike, give their car a squirt if you’re getting some hassle?

Yes. There’s just no need for it and it makes you WORSE than them. Plus you’ll be more tempted to use it than you should be.

Plus you might forget it’s not water.

i don’t want to say this but i will…..

extreme anti-social behaviour as described in the OP and by others seems to me something more confined to the UK and other english speaking lands.

in all the time i have been in germany i have never experienced the pack mentality of chavs (if you will) abusing whoever happens to walk past. never had anything thrown at me (verbal or physical) from a moving car whilst out riding or simply walking along. i haven’t witnessed any proper fights (think beating outside a pub or bar in your local town centre), only silly fisti-cuffs and that i think was between two tourists in munich.

people have a lot more respect for other people’s property and their local environment. people don’t freely discard wrappings or coke cans that are no longer of use to them.

where i used to live a group of kids would come through the street ripping off wing mirrors for a laugh. my dad caught one of them and gave him a slap and threw him over a wall he was so pissed off!
kids trowing eggs.
dickheads in soupped-up cars sitting at macdonald’s and leaving their burger wrappers, drinks and other crap behind. yes, you have similar groups here sitting around their mutton-dressed-as-lamb cars but they don’t act in the same anti-social way.

it is even against the law to give the finger here, american style at least. agincourt is ok but they don’t understand it.

retro and bunnyhop, you guys must live in an area with some really scummy people. We have OCCASIONALLY had kids walk on our lawn when we were down the path, usually just messing about pushing each other, a few quiet but meaningful words and they apologise and never come back. It’s either a sign of the times or a sign of where you live. Maybe time to move?

It’s not though, it’s a nice little village with basically zero crime.

My parents just happen to live on a corner where you can save approx 3 seconds buy cutting across their garden rather than walking round the pavement.

The sad thing is that it just doesn’t seem to occur to a lot of people that they shouldn’t do things like that.

I’m a small bloke, at 5’4 1/2″, but I don’t see it as a ‘problem’. I am aware that some people might think ‘oh, he’s only a little bloke, I can intimidate him no problem’, but I see that as their inadequacy and lack of self-esteem, rather than it being ‘cos I’m ‘almost too wee’. I’m naturally very aggressive, at times, and a right arrogant little bastard, and can see most people off with a few choice words, if they do get lary. If some bigger bloke is being threatening, I just say ‘Oh, look what a big man you are, wanting to have a go at someone my size. Brave,aren’t you?’. This usually has the desired effect, and they back off, for fear of seeming a bully.

Thing is, is not to perceive yourself as ‘small’. I do not feel inferior to anyone physically larger than myself, as I know I have strengths that they don’t. I’m not so pig-headed as to wade into a pagga with some 6-foot-plusser, but I’m confident in my own capabilities, to know I don’t need to cower away from anyone. Some armchair psychologists call this ‘small man syndrome’, but as women also feel intimidated, I know this is bollocks. I’m just a confident, assertive feller. My physical stature has nowt to do with anything, really. I’m completely comfortable being the size I am. If a task is physically beyond me, I feel no weight in getting some big lump to sort it out; that’s what big people are there for!

So, if some big ugly fecker is trying to intimidate you, just see it as them not really being as ‘big’ a man as they think they are. It’s a great leveller.

I dont understand your point about letting people past and driving like cars. We are talking about cars and letting people past is what we all do when appropriate.
Not sure why when 4×4 drivers do it is of more significance. Maybe because they feel that in normal circumstances they dont have to?

I find people who judge how to behave around you based on your car choice extremely irritating, there’s no reason to assume a 4×4 owner is going to be a bad/inconsiderate driver. Going by your thinking I would hate just about every vehicle driver on the road as I’ve had bad experiences with all of them!

Do you have expectations of tradesmen in White Vans?
Unlike some I dont particularly dislike BMW owners (which is almost compulsory when you own an Alfa!)
However if by far the majority of BMW owners appear to be bad drivers in your experience, it would be rational to make judgements based on that, particularly if your experiences are negative and some of those experiences are even dangerous.
To take an exceptional example if 9 BMW drivers cut you up at speed then it would be purely rational to take evasive action when faced with the 10th. To say otherwise is irrational.
As a consequence I don’t try to run 4X4 drivers off the road but I expect them to drive aggressively, inconsiderately and for them to tailgate on the motorway. I am seldom disapointed!
The fact that you find this irritating is neither here nor there.

We were out on the road bikes

Well there you go! 😉

I sort of think that people who do indeed try to intimidate others have no control over their own lives and just for those few seconds it gives them a feeling of power they dont usually have…..even so I don’t thionk you’d get many people going off on one at the likes of Ton. Surprised that someone had a go a Rich as he’s not exactly a 9st weakling is he…can only put that down to the fact he was on a push bike and its easy to hurl abuse when you’re in a car driving offf at speed.

The world is full of idiots, just be gratefull you only have to deal with them occasionally.

lol asking for it I suppose 😉

the guy was on foot, so Rich was the one who was able to get away at speed. I think a lot of it might have been that adrenaline rush of anger you often get when you realise you have just done something stupd. But he was obviously also a cyclist hater as the rant was full of those “you people shouldn’t be on the roads” sort of comments.

I dislike ignorant people. Really dislike them. Growling at them really throws them. So does winking and smiling. For that matter so does laughing at them. Growling’s my favourite though.

There is an argument that blokes are more likely to be on the receiving end of aggression as they are seen as threats.

I certainly have been and it p*sses me right off.

Thanks for all the comments. 🙂
I’m shocked that you got spat at miaowing_kat, even more shocked that Owenfackrell’s wife got threatened with violence with children in the car.

I once told a taxi driver that I hoped he had a really nice day, in a sickly sweet American accent , when he pulled out of a side road and nearly knocked me off my bike. At the time I screamed, his reaction was to come out with some lovely choice words, all with a car full of big blokes, oh he must have felt so big.

Off to drink beer now to toughen up.
Funny that the bloke in the op. was driving a BMW. Consolation is he must have a small willy.

It’s down to attitudes towards people unknown to you. There are so many alienated, aggressive types out there with their loud exhaust pipes and music and f-you ways of driving it drives me nuts. However I did once pull a guy out of a car who was driving in that fashion on my tail in Australia and used my sharp right hand and his windscreen on his head and have never regretted it to this day. That gave him something to think about when he got up.