Derek Laidlaw, 70, said he was attacked on 2 July at about 10.45pm after he asked a man to stop urinating against the wall of his partner’s house. Greater Manchester police have arrested a man in Oldham. He is being questioned in custody.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2016/jul/09/70-year-old-beaten-up-after-asking-man-to-stop-urinating-against-house-oldham

What we reckon? 100 kicks to the crotch, then take it from there?

Dunno about a kangaroo court, seems pretty cut-and-dried; man is asked to stop pissing on someone’s wall, gets violent, gets arrested.

I don’t know about you, but once the taps open, I’m going nowhere while there’s still stuff in the tank.

do you then beat people senseless?

Community service if no previous offences
Probation order
Some restorative justice

if not first offence a custodial sentence less than two years.

My point wasn’t about the reaction, it was about how futile it is asking someone to stop mid wee.

Is the kangaroo guilty then?

I’ll be honest. This was meant to be a lighthearted-ish thread about what STW would suggest could be done to the type of person who would beat a pensioner for telling them to stop pissing against their wall. Chucking them in the sea, hoofing them in the crotch etc etc

CountZero went super literal.
I think Onzadog suggested he would piss on the perp till his tank ran dry. So bless him for trying.
Junkyard went super factual

On the plus side, the kangaroo is fine. Been working out.

Set fire to him and refuse to piss on him?

Wee in his prison shoes .

Make do every pee for a 100 years on an electric fence.

Personally I would like to see a reintroduction of the stocks.
Oh that and hanging.

A kangaroo court can have only one judge: Brolga!

Junkyard went super factual

Forgive me

No pudding ever and pensioner gets 5 seconds with a set of bombers owning the perp and then wees in his shoes whilst he is wearing them.

Dunno about a kangaroo court, seems pretty cut-and-dried; man is asked to stop pissing on someone’s wall, gets violent, gets arrested.

Well it would be a kangaroo court if no evidence was submitted, or at least only the evidence of the alleged victim was accepted.

Junkyard went super factual

I think I out-factualed him though.

Well, if we’re going the non-literal route, then a bulldog clip on his willy and make him drink four or five pints.
Not entirely sure which would be more painful…

I think I out-factualed him though.

I think I will play the jamby defence here and claim that this has never ever happened 😉

Actually No STW er persuades me more on issues than you. Sometimes its as many as two a year 😛

Forgive me

Of course.

As a sign of forgiveness, here is the picture headfirst failed to link:

I think I will play the jamby defence here and claim that this has never ever happened

You misunderstand me. I was not accusing you of being factually incorrect, I assume that’s what the reference to jamby refers to, I was simply claiming to be on this occasion more super factual than you.